Blessed art thou among firefighters.

posted on 7 Jul 2016 in Chinglish, Instructions

water-pope

And thou shalt turn thy valve counterclockwise.

Photo courtesy of Joep Boink.
Found near firehose reel at hotel in Shenyang, China.

42 captions

  1. Huu Yuu | 4:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    Five is right out!

  2. Huu Yuu | 4:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 20  Subtract rating 0  

    Holy water, Batman!

  3. algernon | 4:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    If one wants to put out the fire

  4. DrLex | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    They forgot to specify what side.

  5. algernon | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 0  

    Be careful with that hose Eugene

  6. DrLex | 4:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 1  

    Walking on water has never been this easy.

  7. Droll not Troll | 4:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    Using this hydrant for non-firefighting purposes is a cardinal sin.

  8. Big Fat Cat | 4:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    Fire will be put out because the pope is infallible.

  9. Big Fat Cat | 4:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    There are five elemental popes, namely: wood, fire, earth, metal, and water. They excommunicated each other centuries ago.

  10. Pete | 4:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    Habemus Pipem!

  11. Pete | 4:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 17  Subtract rating 0  

    At risk of being repetitive:

    After eating Sichuan or Indian food, if one experiences a “burning ring of fire”:
    1. Carefully break glass with small axe
    2. Take fire hose and extinguisher from wall compartment
    3. Insert hose into affected area and
    4. Compress handle

    If above procedure fails to provide immediate relief, proceed to the nearest emergency room.

    Where one can not only find an on-call proctologist*, a Catholic priest will also be available for last rites.

    *Ask for Dr. Squint

  12. jjhitt | 4:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Remember the Plumbers Motto: Aqua in montem . Exin tantum stercore quod egreditur .

  13. Yu No Hoo | 4:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 23  Subtract rating 0  

    Let us spray.

  14. Frank Burns | 5:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Aim the Host at the base of the fire……

  15. Vulcan64 | 5:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Can it douse the flames of hell?

  16. Droll not Troll | 5:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    If the smoke from the fire is black you’re in real trouble, because that means the pope hasn’t been replaced.

  17. Frank Burns | 5:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    In case of mass baptism, break glass.

  18. Droll not Troll | 5:57 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    @algernon | 4:04 am: Good one! Until I googled, I hadn’t known there were Popes named Eugene.

  19. Droll not Troll | 6:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Does the pope squirt in the woods?

  20. The Dude | 6:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 1  

    And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, “O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy

  21. Droll not Troll | 7:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    In case of fire, let us go to the hose of the Lord.

  22. Yu No Hoo | 7:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    Conflict of interest with any burning bush.

  23. Yu No Hoo | 7:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Extinsuish the underworld.

  24. Marum | 7:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 20  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ve seen a font of holy water, but this concept is ridiculous

  25. Marum | 8:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 1  

    Bloke meets the Pope.

    B: “Hey. I recognize you. Didn’t you work as an investment advisor?”
    P: “Yes. I worked as an investment advisor for a year after I fished Uni, before I joined the church.

    B; “Yes, I remember. You advised m to buy Chrysler at $27.00.”
    P: “Ah my son. That was before I became infallible.”

  26. Marum | 8:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    W wish to hose down rumours that the Vatican will approve LGBTQI marriage.

  27. Marum | 8:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    AQUA FORTIS!!!

  28. Big Fat Cat | 8:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    and the fires of hell shall not prevail against it.

  29. coffeebot | 9:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    please use Holy Roman Hydrant in case of emergency only

  30. Big Fat Cat | 9:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 1  

    Small kids are refrained from getting too close to fire hydrants or else they will get “hose” by friendly priests.

  31. Pete | 10:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    AKA: The Hose of the Lord.

    Multiple units in stock for export from China to Israel in case third temple built.

  32. Seventy2rd o clock | 12:37 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    And make sure he’s not sorry for the incontinence

  33. Seventy2rd o clock | 12:38 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Pope goes the vessel!

  34. Seventy2rd o clock | 12:39 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Pope lock sucks!

  35. Pete | 5:43 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Introducing the Ronco Hose-a-Matic brought to you by Pope-Peil Inc.

    (Americans of a certain age are bound to get the 2 references to 1970’s era.)

  36. algernon | 9:10 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    @ Droll not Troll | 5:57 am | There have been 4 popes named Eugene. Did you know there was one called Hilarius

  37. sirpaulfan | 1:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Be very careful not to connect water pope to WATER fighting hydrant.

  38. Droll not Troll | 5:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    @algernon | 9:10 pm: Yes, I saw that and I thought it was! 😀

  39. Wile E. Coyote Super Genius | 9:47 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Well, St. Peter’s is pretty big. A regular aspergillum just won’t do the job.

  40. iLock | 9:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Water Pope’mon Go!

  41. iLock | 9:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    @Droll not Troll:
    Yes, the Water Pope Squirtles all over the woods.

  42. Peter | 1:22 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Aqua Regia, the Sovereign of the Holy Sea

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