It’s not a tumor

posted on 26 Aug 2016 in Menus

false-cancer

Great…now I need faux chemotherapy.

Photo courtesy of Andy Balk.
Found at a buffet in Matsue, Japan. 

53 captions

  1. DrLex | 4:01 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    The cancer is a lie. And the cake as well.

  2. Huu Yuu | 4:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll have tumor servings of false cancer, waiter.

  3. Huu Yuu | 4:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    This food was made with growth hormones, not cancer growth.

  4. Huu Yuu | 4:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 0  

    Cancer? False, it is actually a Virgo.

  5. Droll not Troll | 4:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 0  

    The stuff on the plate at the left must be fake Capri-corn.

  6. Frank Burns | 4:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    There goes the good excuse for “medical” marijuana.

  7. Droll not Troll | 4:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 15  Subtract rating 0  

    This caption is off-tropic.

  8. Droll not Troll | 4:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    I don’t never want to suffer from that!

  9. J-Luke | 4:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    “Waiter, my soup is lumpy.”
    “That’s just chicken, sir.”

  10. Droll not Troll | 4:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    The false cancer is crap, not crab.

  11. Big Fat Cat | 4:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    The Miracle Doctor Abe can perform his surgeries with chopsticks and soy sauce

  12. Droll not Troll | 4:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    When the surgeons operated, it was just a gyoza-ectomy.

  13. jjhitt | 4:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    And your sister aint no Virgo either.

  14. jjhitt | 4:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    You mean it’s tofu-cancer?

  15. Yu No Hoo | 4:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    B-9 on the menu.

  16. Droll not Troll | 4:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t bother complaining about it to the manager; we did, and he Taurus a new one!

  17. Long Tom | 4:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Actually, marijuana really does work in some medical situations…but it is NOT supposed to make you high!

  18. Pete | 4:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Mmm…can’t wait to dig in and satisfy my false hunger!

  19. Pete | 4:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ve actually been eating this stuff for the past 22 years and it ain’t killed me yet!!

  20. Pete | 4:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 1  

    More later…in abt and hour or two.
    This entry literally had me belly laughing for over 5 minutes straight.
    ‘Coz I know what the false cancer is, how it tastes, and where the Japanese staffer went wrong in the translation attempt…and once again it results from that staffer’s cheapskate manager not being willing to pay a long-time resident gaijin ten bucks US to give an accurate description in English!

    So here’s a hint:
    “Winner, winner, tofu dinner!”

    Except in this case it was probably breakfast…

    See you folks in abt 90 min. Gotta drive into work.

  21. algernon | 4:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    A bowel of prostates

  22. algernon | 4:55 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Come to where the flavor is come to cancer country

  23. Pete | 5:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    Meanwhile…across the waters of the East China Sea, on display at Beijing’s Wangfujing Night Market, a street vendor hawks his wares and markets them to the naive Laowai passers-by as:

    “Scorched Scorpio on the Stick”

  24. DrLex | 6:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    Good news! You don’t have cancer.
    The bad news, it is actually a xenomorph that will burst out of your chest in a few hours.

  25. Pete | 6:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 19  Subtract rating 1  

    OK. So…this is probably from your standard Japanese hotel breakfast buffet.

    It’s called “Gan-mo-doki” and you can read about it here:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ganmodoki

    Basically a kind of tofu with all sorts of veggies and seeds and spices inside, then deep fried into a chewy fritter. It’s found in a whole host of dishes in Japan. I find it quite tasty…definitely tastier than regular “plain” tofu.

    They got the “Gan” part screwed up. In this case it’s supposed to mean “False Goose” (meaning kind of like “mock chicken”) where one character pronounced “Gan” which used to be used for “goose” sounds just like another character means “Cancer”.

    Like I said, I’ve been eatin’ this stuff happily for the past 22 years and it ain’t killed me yet!

  26. Pete | 6:49 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    @DrLex 604:

    “Tofu Alien” !!!

  27. Pete | 6:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Note:
    Taurus with Broccoli (two hot plate stations over) not included in photo.

  28. Classic Steve | 7:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    We thought we were steaming a crab, but it turned out to be an octopus in camouflage.

  29. Droll not Troll | 7:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Avoid it if you can, sir.

  30. Geo | 8:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    How many times do I have to tell you, it’s not a cancer, IT’S A TERATOMA! IT’S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!
    (Links to Wikipedia page)

  31. Marum | 8:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    @Pete. 0608. Not yet perhaps.

    But. Will you be her tomorrow. 😀

  32. Marum | 8:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    Sung by the Mock Turtle in the Lobster Quadrille from Alice in Wonderland. (Lewis Carrol

    Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,
    Waiting in a hot tureen!
    Who for such dainties would not stoop?
    Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
    Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!

    Beau–ootiful Soo–oop!
    Beau–ootiful Soo–oop!
    Soo–oop of the e–e–evening,
    Beautiful, beautiful Soup!

    Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,
    Game or any other dish?
    Who would not give all else for two
    Pennyworth only of Beautiful Soup?
    Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?

    Beau–ootiful Soo–oop!

  33. Marum | 8:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    Posting 0815..

    EDIT: her = here.

    STET: Leave it at “her” it’s funnier.

  34. Marum | 8:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    @Pet 0652..

    Q. What is the difference between Broccoli and snot?

    A. Under no conditions whatsoever, will children eat broccoli.

  35. Marum | 8:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Ah! Kaposi’s Sarcoma.

  36. Marum | 8:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    So! Hasoohu Barounoo. :roll:

  37. Marum | 8:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    ハッシュブラウン 😉

  38. Stuie | 8:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    No need to be crabby about it.

  39. Pete | 9:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum 847:

    Nice job with yer katakana, mate!

    For everyone else, Marum is talkin’ ’bout breakfast taters.

  40. Pete | 9:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum 844:

    More like “Hasshu Braaun”, dude.

  41. Marum | 9:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    @Pete 0934.. The katakana was total fluke mate.

    Normally, I manage to tell someone (inadvertently) that their Honourable Grandmother is a horse’s ar$3, or summat similar.

  42. Pete | 11:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum 947:

    You sound like me when I try speaking Mandarin.
    I know just enuf to be dangerous.

    Or even me speaking Japanese after having moved back to the states 20+ years ago. Man am I rusty.

  43. Lora | 1:14 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    And they have fool’s cold for dessert.

  44. A Non-Y Mouse | 1:27 pm |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    English isn’t my doctor’s first language, Fortunately it turned out I only had imitation crabs.

  45. Pete | 5:57 pm |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    @Mouse:

    Were they biosynthetic nano-crabs?

  46. Seventy2rd o clock | 1:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Well, Japanese have no sense of tumor.

  47. Auntie | 3:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    “It’s not a tumor”. Sometimes the headline for the photo is just priceless. Hats off to whoever comes up with it…either Engrish.com staff or the photo senders.

    And, thanks to “Pete” for the exlication!

  48. Auntie | 3:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    *explication

  49. EffEff | 11:16 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Someone here has one hell of a razor-sharp katakana.

  50. Peter | 5:20 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    It’s a true Capricorn

  51. The Dude | 6:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    The one thing we’re happy asians are faking.

  52. Robert | 7:05 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    That’s actually as good as my friend Ron’s order, “copy crab”, that he had me get from Chinese buffet when he was in the nursing home.

  53. zankhana | 5:34 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    @ Marum:- What’s green and sings? Elvis Parsley
    What’s green and sings? Frank Snotra

Caption is made at here!

Caption is made at here! (please leave a caption for the Engrish photo; all vulgar entries, spam, etc. will be deleted. Let's Creative!)

Home | Brog | Store | Massage Board | Advertise | Contact Us | Disclaimer

© 1999 - 2013 Engrish.com. All rights reserved.