This sentence is refreshing efficiency.

posted on 22 Aug 2016 in Chinglish, Drinks

litchi-black-tea

I prefer my tea less moist.

Photo courtesy of Woody Lee.
Tea from China.

40 captions

  1. algernon | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Fragrant to the nostril tea let it slip

  2. algernon | 4:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    Fragrant is always the quintessence

  3. Marum | 4:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    After reading this, my brain needs pumping dry. Not waking up.

  4. Pete | 4:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    Assails the nostrils eh?
    Finest No. 2 tea!

    (Maybe it’s Durian tea not Litchi)

  5. Marum | 4:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    It will also cure, coughs and colds, and hairy holse, and pimples on the dickie. 😀

  6. jjhitt | 4:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    I’m not interested in nostril fruit, thank you.

  7. Marum | 4:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 1  

    Incomprehensible instructions cause Hydroencephalitus.

  8. jjhitt | 4:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I gave that Litchi some tea, litchies love tea.

  9. Marum | 4:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Which really, is only water under the cerebellum.

  10. Big Fat Cat | 4:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Litchi black tea is grown in Liechtenstein. Rarer than gold.

  11. Marum | 4:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    I, Thomas Lipton, deplore this description.

  12. jjhitt | 4:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    It;s been awhile since I had my quintessence modulated.

  13. Marum | 4:19 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 1  

    Did you hear of the Indian Chief who used to drink 200 cups of tea a day?

    He did in his own teepee.

  14. Marum | 4:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    EDIT Died

  15. Yu No Hoo | 4:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    Waiter, there’s soup in my tea.

  16. Droll not Troll | 4:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Did we mention it’s fragrant?

  17. Droll not Troll | 4:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    When the red light is on, there is soup. When the red light is off, NO SOUP FOR YOU!

  18. Marum | 4:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 1  

    “Thin to sip?”

    If your tea is thick, you have probably used something else than water to make it.

    Like a mate of mine. His little daughter was bringing him cups of pretend tea, with her toy tea-set, which he was duly drinking.

    Then the thought crossed his mind….Hang on she is too short to reach the taps.

    Well. Actually. She was! 😳

  19. DrLex | 4:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    What a complicated way of saying: “this tea stinks”.

  20. Marum | 4:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    TEA;
    I drink it when I am happy, I sip it when I am sad, I have a pick-me-up cup when I am tired, I have a refreshing cup when it is too hot, I have a warming cup when it is too cold, I have a celebratory cup when I have won, I have a consoling cup when I have lost, I enjoy a cup before and after a meal, I share an intimate cup with my lady after lovemaking.

    Other than that, Tea! I never touch it.

    (Plagiarised from the Baroness Rothchild’s remarks about Champagne)

  21. Droll not Troll | 4:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Why would I want tea bad smell to assail my nostrils?? 😯

  22. Pete | 5:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    This Engrish has been brought to you in Suo form.
    Otherwise known as “Mandarin Octameter”.

  23. Pete | 5:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I need to get this tea.
    ‘Coz if it wakes up my brain with refreshing efficiency, it’s guaranteed to do a better job than the huge cuppa joe I just drank ‘coz i’m STILL half-asleep.

  24. Lora | 7:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    Me Tarzan, king of jungle. Tarzan strong, like smell of bad tea.

  25. UCity | 7:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Crisis averted; litchi black tea has learned to cooperate with litchi quintessence.

  26. Geo | 9:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Drink tea to restore maximum mental efficiency.
    Read its description to disable it.

  27. Seventy2rd o clock | 9:38 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    TEA -> Total Efficiency Appearance

  28. Seventy2rd o clock | 9:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Fragrant fragrance?!
    Impossible.

  29. Seventy2rd o clock | 9:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Instructions:

    1. Cooperate with litchi
    2. Modulate with black tea
    3. Enter the mouth
    4. Clear up stomach
    5. Wake up Brian

  30. Long Tom | 10:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll take the soda pop instead.

  31. alexmagnus | 10:21 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    The color and luster is dark and moist. Dark, I understand. But neither moist color nor moist luster makes sense.

  32. A Non-Y Mouse | 1:24 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    By the end I was half-expecting bongos and an insurance pitch.

  33. Lora | 1:50 pm |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    This is a kind of a weird coincidence but this morning at work my mother accidentally knocked over a big cup full of green tea and spilled it all over the place and onto herself. She told me all about it when we went out for lunch, and said if she smelled like tea that was the reason, but she smelled okay to me. :)

  34. Myself | 1:54 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I love tea with a bad smell strong!

  35. Rt | 2:43 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    “Hey lee, make sure when you’re typing up the product description for our tea product, that you use as many descriptive sentences as possible. It’ll make us sound smart and scientific; americans always buy from people who sound smart and scientific.”

  36. EffEff | 5:27 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Know any Quintessence Modulation radio stations?

  37. Droll not Troll | 6:38 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Assail? I do not think it means what you think it means.

  38. Droll not Troll | 6:40 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    After reading all that, I’m not exactly itchy for litchi!

  39. Marum | 4:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    @DnT Assail is on aboat. (Correct?)

  40. The Dude | 8:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Dark and moist will make you lichti below the waist.

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