This sentence is refreshing efficiency.

posted on 22 Aug 2016 in Chinglish, Drinks

litchi-black-tea

I prefer my tea less moist.

Photo courtesy of Woody Lee.
Tea from China.

40 captions

  1. algernon | 4:04 am |

    Fragrant to the nostril tea let it slip

  2. algernon | 4:05 am |

    Fragrant is always the quintessence

  3. Marum | 4:07 am |

    After reading this, my brain needs pumping dry. Not waking up.

  4. Pete | 4:10 am |

    Assails the nostrils eh?
    Finest No. 2 tea!

    (Maybe it’s Durian tea not Litchi)

  5. Marum | 4:11 am |

    It will also cure, coughs and colds, and hairy holse, and pimples on the dickie. 😀

  6. jjhitt | 4:12 am |

    I’m not interested in nostril fruit, thank you.

  7. Marum | 4:13 am |

    Incomprehensible instructions cause Hydroencephalitus.

  8. jjhitt | 4:15 am |

    I gave that Litchi some tea, litchies love tea.

  9. Marum | 4:15 am |

    Which really, is only water under the cerebellum.

  10. Big Fat Cat | 4:17 am |

    Litchi black tea is grown in Liechtenstein. Rarer than gold.

  11. Marum | 4:17 am |

    I, Thomas Lipton, deplore this description.

  12. jjhitt | 4:18 am |

    It;s been awhile since I had my quintessence modulated.

  13. Marum | 4:19 am |

    Did you hear of the Indian Chief who used to drink 200 cups of tea a day?

    He did in his own teepee.

  14. Marum | 4:20 am |

    EDIT Died

  15. Yu No Hoo | 4:25 am |

    Waiter, there’s soup in my tea.

  16. Droll not Troll | 4:26 am |

    Did we mention it’s fragrant?

  17. Droll not Troll | 4:31 am |

    When the red light is on, there is soup. When the red light is off, NO SOUP FOR YOU!

  18. Marum | 4:33 am |

    “Thin to sip?”

    If your tea is thick, you have probably used something else than water to make it.

    Like a mate of mine. His little daughter was bringing him cups of pretend tea, with her toy tea-set, which he was duly drinking.

    Then the thought crossed his mind….Hang on she is too short to reach the taps.

    Well. Actually. She was! 😳

  19. DrLex | 4:43 am |

    What a complicated way of saying: “this tea stinks”.

  20. Marum | 4:52 am |

    TEA;
    I drink it when I am happy, I sip it when I am sad, I have a pick-me-up cup when I am tired, I have a refreshing cup when it is too hot, I have a warming cup when it is too cold, I have a celebratory cup when I have won, I have a consoling cup when I have lost, I enjoy a cup before and after a meal, I share an intimate cup with my lady after lovemaking.

    Other than that, Tea! I never touch it.

    (Plagiarised from the Baroness Rothchild’s remarks about Champagne)

  21. Droll not Troll | 4:59 am |

    Why would I want tea bad smell to assail my nostrils?? 😯

  22. Pete | 5:27 am |

    This Engrish has been brought to you in Suo form.
    Otherwise known as “Mandarin Octameter”.

  23. Pete | 5:30 am |

    I need to get this tea.
    ‘Coz if it wakes up my brain with refreshing efficiency, it’s guaranteed to do a better job than the huge cuppa joe I just drank ‘coz i’m STILL half-asleep.

  24. Lora | 7:40 am |

    Me Tarzan, king of jungle. Tarzan strong, like smell of bad tea.

  25. UCity | 7:53 am |

    Crisis averted; litchi black tea has learned to cooperate with litchi quintessence.

  26. Geo | 9:36 am |

    Drink tea to restore maximum mental efficiency.
    Read its description to disable it.

  27. Seventy2rd o clock | 9:38 am |

    TEA -> Total Efficiency Appearance

  28. Seventy2rd o clock | 9:40 am |

    Fragrant fragrance?!
    Impossible.

  29. Seventy2rd o clock | 9:45 am |

    Instructions:

    1. Cooperate with litchi
    2. Modulate with black tea
    3. Enter the mouth
    4. Clear up stomach
    5. Wake up Brian

  30. Long Tom | 10:05 am |

    I’ll take the soda pop instead.

  31. alexmagnus | 10:21 am |

    The color and luster is dark and moist. Dark, I understand. But neither moist color nor moist luster makes sense.

  32. A Non-Y Mouse | 1:24 pm |

    By the end I was half-expecting bongos and an insurance pitch.

  33. Lora | 1:50 pm |

    This is a kind of a weird coincidence but this morning at work my mother accidentally knocked over a big cup full of green tea and spilled it all over the place and onto herself. She told me all about it when we went out for lunch, and said if she smelled like tea that was the reason, but she smelled okay to me. :)

  34. Myself | 1:54 pm |

    I love tea with a bad smell strong!

  35. Rt | 2:43 pm |

    “Hey lee, make sure when you’re typing up the product description for our tea product, that you use as many descriptive sentences as possible. It’ll make us sound smart and scientific; americans always buy from people who sound smart and scientific.”

  36. EffEff | 5:27 pm |

    Know any Quintessence Modulation radio stations?

  37. Droll not Troll | 6:38 pm |

    Assail? I do not think it means what you think it means.

  38. Droll not Troll | 6:40 pm |

    After reading all that, I’m not exactly itchy for litchi!

  39. Marum | 4:24 am |

    @DnT Assail is on aboat. (Correct?)

  40. The Dude | 8:28 am |

    Dark and moist will make you lichti below the waist.

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