I have six mouths to feed…

posted on 28 Sep 2016 in Chinglish, Instructions

points-for-using-attentien

Photo courtesy of Todd D.
Instructions from a flashlight.
“Kellery” and “bellary” = battery (I think…).

43 captions

  1. algernon | 4:02 am |

    Soleunt green organilie

  2. Marum | 4:03 am |

    ‘Kay

  3. Big Fat Cat | 4:03 am |

    My drain is short circuit after reading this

  4. Marum | 4:05 am |

    The bag must have exhaust piles for the dissel goonerator.

  5. algernon | 4:05 am |

    Attentian skem and dothes bellary sfoted

  6. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:06 am |

    I only understand the numbers

  7. jjhitt | 4:06 am |

    Bellery is ringery.

  8. jjhitt | 4:08 am |

    Henmetically sealed = Chicken proof.

  9. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:09 am |

    Now go and translate this back to Chinese

  10. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:11 am |

    – It’s so light in here Mommy, could you turn on the dark?

  11. Marum | 4:12 am |

    The Kelow Temperatoor Scole was designed by Ivan Kelow, becoos he couldn’e lead centripoods.

  12. Marum | 4:14 am |

    Q. What is faster – hot or cold?

    A. Hot. (Because anyone can catch a cold)

  13. SF | 4:14 am |

    And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and the light became dark. God tried to check the henmeticlly-sealed chamker, whether the tenperture was storeroouous, and God saw that he was in for six tough days.

  14. Marum | 4:17 am |

    I may be ill. I can actually understand these instructions, as to charging batteries.

  15. Yu No Hoo | 4:17 am |

    The bellary has gong dead.

  16. jjhitt | 4:21 am |

    I kelleried when I should have belleried.

  17. Yu No Hoo | 4:22 am |

    Rememker about the chamker.

  18. Marum | 4:23 am |

    @72rd 0409. It may amuse you to read *English as She Is Writ*. It is now being reprinted. (After nearly 100yrs)

    These two nongs – one of whom was a language professor – translated it from Spanish, to Portuguese, to French, and then to English.

  19. Marum | 4:28 am |

    The light becomes dark,
    When it is hit by a Quark,
    But starting a Cyclotron,
    To produce only one,
    Would not at all be a lark.

  20. A Non-Y Mouse | 4:39 am |

    It’s a coded message. They plan to attack southern India!

  21. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:01 am |

    Kellary and Bellary, Miss Steak’s closest kellalies

  22. timmy | 5:04 am |

    Tainted Love!
    Whoa whoa whoa whoa….

  23. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:15 am |

    I suggest new Engrish category: ”Destructions”

  24. Yu No Hoo | 5:30 am |

    Bag with exhaust pipes? Better ask a Scotsman.

  25. UCity | 7:24 am |

    Failured to understand these instructiens.

  26. Classic Steve | 7:30 am |

    This is kullshif.

  27. Marum | 8:37 am |

    @Yu No Hoo 0530. A Scotsman walks into a building, straight past the security desk without signing in. The security bloke calls after him..

    SB: “Who are you?”

    Scot: “Och, I’m fine laddie. Hoo are you?”

  28. Lora | 10:18 am |

    I think someone’s got bats in their bellary.

  29. Seventy2rd o clock | 10:28 am |

    Batteries not included?

  30. Seventy2rd o clock | 10:28 am |

    @ Marum | 4:23 am: And now, finally an Engrish translation!

  31. Salome | 2:06 pm |

    Doctor, doctor, would you mind taking a look at this chamker?
    Ooh, that’s a nasty one, but it shouldn’t do lasting damage. It’s henmetically sealed.

  32. Filboid | 5:06 pm |

    Rosetta Stone of bellarys- only backwards. Just keeps going and going…

  33. RT | 7:16 pm |

    “damn the spellchecker, full speed ahead!”

    -David Glasgow Farragut

  34. Droll not Troll | 8:54 pm |

    If this product is going to get sken and dothes on my taint, you can keep it!!

  35. Droll not Troll | 9:20 pm |

    Kefween Kelow? Is she the one in the song, “I’ll take you home again Kefween”?

  36. Droll not Troll | 10:40 pm |

    Capacitance’s life matters!

  37. DrLex | 4:21 am |

    Should I sfore the bellary in my mouth? These instructions are not entirely clear.

  38. The Dude | 8:46 am |

    Lamp turns on 2-3 hours later, so it’s not an emergency lamp I guess.

  39. Myself | 11:26 am |

    “Life have no lternatioe but to charge two kellalies together.”

    Well now, that’s deep and philosophical. I want to paste that quote onto a picture of a rose or a sunset and frame it on my wall.

  40. Myself | 11:27 am |

    Don’t worry, my bag has exhaust pipes. I wasn’t really sure why until now.

  41. Myself | 11:27 am |

    “Please! Spare me my life!”

    -The capacitance

  42. olog-hai | 6:27 pm |

    Well, if one charges two kellalies together, what about two shillelaghs?

  43. Peter | 2:28 pm |

    Thirty days make a mouth.

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