Office edition

posted on 23 Sep 2016 in Chinglish, Menus

desktop-seal-meat

Fresh clubbed…

Photo courtesy of Mindrew.
Menu from Taiwanese restaurant in Shanghai, China.

45 captions

  1. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:01 am |

    I prefer desktop mouse meat

  2. algernon | 4:03 am |

    Comes with a big screen

  3. DrLex | 4:03 am |

    I guess it’s better than desktop mouse meat.

  4. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:04 am |

    – Got any public coffin meat?

  5. algernon | 4:04 am |

    Complete with a Windows upgrade

  6. DrLex | 4:05 am |

    So that’s why there is a Greenpeace activist chained to my keyboard…

  7. DrLex | 4:11 am |

    Desktop Seals are a special division of Navy Seals. They are deployed when someone has been installing too many browser toolbars.

  8. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:12 am |

    Fight against desktops!

  9. Frank Burns | 4:13 am |

    “Private Tea Meat! Drop and give me twenty!”

  10. Frank Burns | 4:14 am |

    “Stop blubbering and eat your seal meat, or you won’t get any dessert.”

  11. Yu No Hoo | 4:14 am |

    Clubbing seals isn’t exactly PC.

  12. Yu No Hoo | 4:18 am |

    Great with chips.

  13. Yu No Hoo | 4:23 am |

    Tastes like an old boot.

  14. Yu No Hoo | 4:26 am |

    Raspberry pi for dessert.

  15. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:29 am |

    – Waiter! There’s Vista on my desktop!

  16. Big Fat Cat | 4:32 am |

    I gave it a rating of Windows 10 out of 10

  17. Big Fat Cat | 4:34 am |

    The private tea meat is hacked.

  18. Droll not Troll | 4:36 am |

    I can think of plenty of screen savers I’d rather use.

  19. Droll not Troll | 4:38 am |

    The private tea meat leaves a lot to be desired.

  20. Droll not Troll | 4:47 am |

    Waiter! My desktop seal meat has a virus!

  21. iLock | 4:57 am |

    Private Tea Meat, for when you want to do some teabagging with your meat privates at the restaurant.

    Desktop Seal Meat, for when you want to order online, with a side dish
    of risqué Skype call with waitress.

  22. Droll not Troll | 5:02 am |

    Eat desktop seal meat today, download brownware tomorrow.

  23. Droll not Troll | 5:04 am |

    I guess they catch the seals in the internets.

  24. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:09 am |

    – Mommy, my Miss Steak fell through the Windows!

  25. Yu No Hoo | 5:12 am |

    @ Droll 5:04

    I get mine from an ISP — Internet Seal Provider.
    Comes in packets.

  26. Yu No Hoo | 5:23 am |

    What do you mean I can only use HP Sauce?

  27. jjhitt | 5:55 am |

    Tea Meat: it’s not for everyone.

  28. jjhitt | 5:59 am |

    Try the Dust Bunny with keyboard crumbs.

  29. Yu No Hoo | 7:19 am |

    Good evening, my name is Clint and I’ll be your server.

  30. Classic Steve | 7:39 am |

    We weren’t going to kill it, but it kept interfering with our computer work….

  31. Marum | 7:53 am |

    Waiter: How much do you want sir?

    Diner: Arf Arf!

  32. Marum | 8:45 am |

    ORCA; I approve of this menu.

  33. Pete | 8:45 am |

    They used Google Translate to get Seal Meat!!!

    Actually the first 2 characters indicate it’s Taiwanese style.
    I had to look up the characters and do some web searching.

    My translation: Taiwan-style braised pork belly.

    I would feel terrible eating a baby seal, like I would if I ate whale.
    (That said, I’m not much of an enviro-greenie.)

    But like Emeril Lagasse says “PIG FAT RULES, BABY!”

  34. Pete | 9:01 am |

    There’s a seal on my monitor!
    (And a penguin on the telly.)

  35. Pete | 9:03 am |

    I Am The Walrus.
    Guess that means I can relax now.

    Goo goo gajoob.

  36. DrLex | 9:16 am |

    @Pete: the last two characters do mean ‘seal’ and ‘meat’. However, ‘seal’ here is not the animal, but the verb. From what I can find, the name comes from the fact that the cooking pot remains sealed from the start of the cooking, up until when it is opened on the dining table.

  37. Marum | 10:03 am |

    @Pete. A week ago.

    If you look back at the Engrish on how to use a Japanese Squat Toilet, (bout a week ago) you will find a posting on mixed bathing at “Onsens” by @Paul.

    Also I posted again about the Philippines’ thermal areas we used to visit. That took some research, and not a few phone calls, for it was fifty years ago. You may find it slightly amusing, to read of my way of disposing of our Amah. I always had this handy engineering brain, and could logically plan ahead – successfully too. :smile:

  38. Marum | 10:06 am |

    My wife is a mad cow. That worries me more than seal meat.

  39. Marum | 10:26 am |

    If it starts fossicking around in your pockets looking for fish.

    THAT IS A WORRY.

  40. Pete | 12:00 pm |

    @Dr. Lex 916:

    Yes sir, it does mean “to seal” rather than “a seal (animal)”.
    It took a bit of ‘net searching to find a recipe for the item using the characters.

    I figured in advance that it was an idiomatic usage.

    Once I found a recipe, I knew I had it. (and that it had piggy, not baby seal.)

  41. Pete | 12:10 pm |

    @Marum 1003 and 1026:

    Well, mate, you’ve managed to point out to me once again that the English speaking nations of North America and Oceania are separated by a common language.

    I’d never heard the term “fossicking” before but I certainly won’t forget it now! My equivalent would be “pokin’ around in yer pocket”.

    As for onsens, the only possible thought I can muster on a late Friday afternoon is: “Crikey I wish we had Onsens here in the States like they do in Japan!”

    Or as Homer Simpson says: “Mmmmmmmm….Onnnnsennnnnn….”
    One of my fave pastimes whenever I’m in Japan.

  42. Rt | 7:34 pm |

    Ugh.
    It’s so annoying how often they push their updates on me. Right after I’ve consumed desktop seal meat 8.1, I get a popup saying desktop seal meat 10 is available; would you like to consume and install? I’M FULL DAMNIT!!

  43. Long Tom | 8:10 pm |

    Actually, baby harp seals are clubbed not for food, but for their pelts, because they are nice and white. Trouble is, I thought there was little demand for fur pelts nowadays.

  44. Marum | 7:43 am |

    @Long Tom. What do thy need belts for? To carry their Flipper-grenades?

  45. Peter | 2:05 pm |

    Laptop whale meat, perhaps?

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