Gramdma, can I have a samdwich?

Look what Grandmother passed

Well what a surprise

”And the winner of this year’s Granny Award is … ”

Just add mother-in-raw

As pronounced with missing demtures.

Aw, she finally learned metric.

Turning Grandmother into food grains is part of our traditions.

Her favourite band is Gums & Roses.

Soylent grain

Your gramdmother is such a lightweight!

Don’t you dare poundmother!

Gramdmother has strong legumes, she can walk for miles.

– And a side dish, please.
– Vegetables, fruits or relatives, Madam?

She’s an a-maize-ing woman with a rye sense of humour.

Smells like chianti and Marlborough.

Is a Soup Kitchen, a Broth Hall?

This is an UFI.

Unimaginable Food Item.

This is wreckedtitwhewed.

– Hey, there’s grammy in my soup!
– What did you think you’ll get, an Oscar?

The call her… Graindmother.

What does that make in ouncedmothers?

I suppose she is starting to show her age.

Whatever happened to freshly-baked cookies?

@UCity | 7:40 am
Isn’t her name supposed to be Groundmother, as in ground grains?

Just like Gramdma used to make!

Is this full of Gram-positive bacteria?

Momsense.

In several Bohemian restaurants, I saw listings for “Grandma Style” meats. Evidently the term means cooked with large pieces of onion.

“My Gramdma! What big food grains you have”
“All the better for you to eat my dear…”

I didn’t realize how creepy that would sound before I typed it, I’m sorry…

Prepared by the Grammy Award winning chef

” Hey Mum!!!! I don’t like Grandma any more!!!!”
“Never mind dear just push her to the side of your plate and rat your greens!”