It actually conditions as you chew!

posted on 17 Feb 2017 in Chinglish, Menus

shampoo-ribs

Massage ribs in mouth. Let sit for 2 minutes. Swallow and repeat.

Photo courtesy of Marcus Hastings.
Menu found in Guangzhou, China.

39 captions

  1. algernon | 4:04 am |

    Leaves your hair full of body

  2. algernon | 4:06 am |

    Brings back colour and movement

  3. Yu No Hoo | 4:24 am |

    Waiter, there’s a hair in my shampoo.

  4. Marum | 4:27 am |

    What kind of aminal has spare

  5. Droll not Troll | 4:28 am |

    They’ll put hair on your chest!

  6. Marum | 4:28 am |

    What kind of aminal has “spare” ribs.

    I need all of mine.

  7. Marum | 4:30 am |

    I heard of a Rabbit who washed his thing.

    He couldn’t do a hair with it.

  8. Droll not Troll | 4:31 am |

    Would you rather have real poo ribs?

  9. Droll not Troll | 4:35 am |

    I prefer soap rack of lamb.

  10. Droll not Troll | 4:38 am |

    For shiny, bouncy ribs.

  11. Big Fat Cat | 4:43 am |

    We have carbon footprint, now carbon spareribs is trendy.

  12. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:44 am |

    – Look Ma, no paper!

  13. SF | 4:53 am |

    They probably meant sp’hair ribs.

  14. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:54 am |

    Instructions:

    Number One – urinate the balls
    Number Two – use shampoo

  15. Marum | 5:03 am |

    No, NO, No CHANG!

    Repeat after me: Tickle ribs, shampoo balls.

  16. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:15 am |

    – Would you like Hairy Potter with that?

  17. Long Tom | 5:30 am |

    The alternative to sticking a bar of soap into a child’s mouth as a punishment.

  18. Frank Burns | 5:38 am |

    “Gee Your Ribs Smell Terrific”

  19. Frank Burns | 5:43 am |

    “Ribs so good, make you wanna slap your hairdresser!”

  20. Yu No Hoo | 6:02 am |

    ¥45 is too much toupée.

  21. Yu No Hoo | 6:03 am |

    Served with scalped potatoes.

  22. Seventy2rd o clock | 6:42 am |

    – Waiter? My ribs are hairy!
    – This is nothing, Madam. You should see some other guests …

  23. Yu No Hoo | 7:09 am |

    Personally served by the head waiter.

  24. J-Luke | 8:06 am |

    Carbon Barbecued Spareribs; sounds like they hired my neighbor…

  25. PeeBee | 8:51 am |

    It will help you clean your plate.

  26. Vulcan64 | 8:54 am |

    Better than sulfur barbecue.

  27. EffEff | 9:00 am |

    So that’s what happened to Shampoo the killer whale.

  28. Classic Steve | 9:18 am |

    I’d lather not.

  29. UCity | 10:17 am |

    Takes away some of the oiliness.

  30. Seventy2rd o clock | 10:56 am |

    – And L’Oral for my wife, please.

  31. Geo | 1:37 pm |

    Look at these ribs.
    Now back to me.
    Now back at these ribs.
    Now back to me.

  32. Droll not Troll | 2:49 pm |

    Trump’s real plan for wetbacks?

  33. Myself | 10:30 pm |

    Someday you will die somehow and something’s gonna steal your carbon.

  34. Myself | 10:32 pm |

    @Marum 4:28
    Some people have a 13th rib, so that’s definitely a spare.

  35. iLock | 3:26 am |

    “It’s quite a mess we’ve got here detective…
    He tried to off himself with carbon monoxide, failing that he attempted to hong himself, after the knot came loose he went to the backyard and barbecued himself, all that’s left are a few spareribs..”

    “I just can’t deal with this mess. Jack, get the shampoo…”

  36. iLock | 3:41 am |

    •Try the charcoal Shwarzcough ribs – true to their name!
    •The spicy ribs will have you Pantene for a drink…
    Our 11 Herbal Essences and spices will not disappoint

    *Ribs are also available rare, if you like them soft and manageable.

    If you have any enquiries about about our sausage products – Please call Johnson and Johnson. Both of those guys’ numbers can be found on the next page I think… Although I’m not 100% sure as the other menu / shampoo instruction pages are being done by someone else, so I can’t fully verify that for you..

  37. iLock | 3:50 am |

    Directions:

    Step 1: Apply serving to mouth
    Step 2: Chew
    Step 3: Enjoy
    Step 4: Swallow
    Step 5: Rinse
    Step 6: Repeat for seconds if desired
    Step 7: Please come again
    Step 8: Repeat steps 1 to 7 to leave your stomach feeling
    revitalized and smelling gorgeous.

    *The phone number for Johnson & Johnson can be
    found on the previous page.

  38. Marum | 6:53 am |

    If yiu shampoo balls, the skinny bloke spits at you.

  39. iLock | 4:37 pm |

    Uhhh.. I think I’m too full for my conditioned ice cream sundae dessert.

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