It actually conditions as you chew!

posted on 17 Feb 2017 in Chinglish, Menus

shampoo-ribs

Massage ribs in mouth. Let sit for 2 minutes. Swallow and repeat.

Photo courtesy of Marcus Hastings.
Menu found in Guangzhou, China.

39 captions

  1. algernon | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 0  

    Leaves your hair full of body

  2. algernon | 4:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    Brings back colour and movement

  3. Yu No Hoo | 4:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Waiter, there’s a hair in my shampoo.

  4. Marum | 4:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    What kind of aminal has spare

  5. Droll not Troll | 4:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    They’ll put hair on your chest!

  6. Marum | 4:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 0  

    What kind of aminal has “spare” ribs.

    I need all of mine.

  7. Marum | 4:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 1  

    I heard of a Rabbit who washed his thing.

    He couldn’t do a hair with it.

  8. Droll not Troll | 4:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Would you rather have real poo ribs?

  9. Droll not Troll | 4:35 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I prefer soap rack of lamb.

  10. Droll not Troll | 4:38 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    For shiny, bouncy ribs.

  11. Big Fat Cat | 4:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    We have carbon footprint, now carbon spareribs is trendy.

  12. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    – Look Ma, no paper!

  13. SF | 4:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    They probably meant sp’hair ribs.

  14. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Instructions:

    Number One – urinate the balls
    Number Two – use shampoo

  15. Marum | 5:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    No, NO, No CHANG!

    Repeat after me: Tickle ribs, shampoo balls.

  16. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    – Would you like Hairy Potter with that?

  17. Long Tom | 5:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    The alternative to sticking a bar of soap into a child’s mouth as a punishment.

  18. Frank Burns | 5:38 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    “Gee Your Ribs Smell Terrific”

  19. Frank Burns | 5:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    “Ribs so good, make you wanna slap your hairdresser!”

  20. Yu No Hoo | 6:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    ¥45 is too much toupée.

  21. Yu No Hoo | 6:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Served with scalped potatoes.

  22. Seventy2rd o clock | 6:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    – Waiter? My ribs are hairy!
    – This is nothing, Madam. You should see some other guests …

  23. Yu No Hoo | 7:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Personally served by the head waiter.

  24. J-Luke | 8:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Carbon Barbecued Spareribs; sounds like they hired my neighbor…

  25. PeeBee | 8:51 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    It will help you clean your plate.

  26. Vulcan64 | 8:54 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Better than sulfur barbecue.

  27. EffEff | 9:00 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    So that’s what happened to Shampoo the killer whale.

  28. Classic Steve | 9:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    I’d lather not.

  29. UCity | 10:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Takes away some of the oiliness.

  30. Seventy2rd o clock | 10:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    – And L’Oral for my wife, please.

  31. Geo | 1:37 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Look at these ribs.
    Now back to me.
    Now back at these ribs.
    Now back to me.

  32. Droll not Troll | 2:49 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 2  

    Trump’s real plan for wetbacks?

  33. Myself | 10:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 1  

    Someday you will die somehow and something’s gonna steal your carbon.

  34. Myself | 10:32 pm |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum 4:28
    Some people have a 13th rib, so that’s definitely a spare.

  35. iLock | 3:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    “It’s quite a mess we’ve got here detective…
    He tried to off himself with carbon monoxide, failing that he attempted to hong himself, after the knot came loose he went to the backyard and barbecued himself, all that’s left are a few spareribs..”

    “I just can’t deal with this mess. Jack, get the shampoo…”

  36. iLock | 3:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    •Try the charcoal Shwarzcough ribs – true to their name!
    •The spicy ribs will have you Pantene for a drink…
    Our 11 Herbal Essences and spices will not disappoint

    *Ribs are also available rare, if you like them soft and manageable.

    If you have any enquiries about about our sausage products – Please call Johnson and Johnson. Both of those guys’ numbers can be found on the next page I think… Although I’m not 100% sure as the other menu / shampoo instruction pages are being done by someone else, so I can’t fully verify that for you..

  37. iLock | 3:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    Directions:

    Step 1: Apply serving to mouth
    Step 2: Chew
    Step 3: Enjoy
    Step 4: Swallow
    Step 5: Rinse
    Step 6: Repeat for seconds if desired
    Step 7: Please come again
    Step 8: Repeat steps 1 to 7 to leave your stomach feeling
    revitalized and smelling gorgeous.

    *The phone number for Johnson & Johnson can be
    found on the previous page.

  38. Marum | 6:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    If yiu shampoo balls, the skinny bloke spits at you.

  39. iLock | 4:37 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Uhhh.. I think I’m too full for my conditioned ice cream sundae dessert.

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