Jimmy, put the sword back in your luggage.

posted on 20 Apr 2017 in Chinglish, Instructions


Photo courtesy of AJ Sinker.
Found in Shanghai, China.

35 captions

  1. algernon | 4:02 am |

    Oh dang, my dog farts

  2. Marum | 4:04 am |

    One has to also pass the sniff test.

  3. DrLex | 4:05 am |

    Drunk, insane AND not properly dressed. This means, if you’re drunk and insane, but are wearing a tuxedo, you’re welcome.

  4. Marum | 4:07 am |

    I like #8. All criminals will be tranferred to the Police.

    Seems like an acceptable, alternative career.

  5. algernon | 4:07 am |

    Be worried about the electric appliances

  6. Marum | 4:11 am |

    That’s a nuisance. I was going to throw my wife’s toy poodle off the top floor, (the bloody thing keeps crapping in my work-boots) and if necessary, the other bitch who owns it, too.

  7. Marum | 4:13 am |

    @algernon 0407. Especially Sam’s singing phones.

  8. Big Fat Cat | 4:34 am |

    As all Force entrant are transferred to Police, I can see that the Force in Jail is Strong!

  9. Big Fat Cat | 4:36 am |

    My dry gin is excepted.

  10. Droll not Troll | 4:48 am |

    What about using Internet Exploder to find a date on Tinder? I promise I’ll only bring a plastic-made electric appliance.

  11. Droll not Troll | 4:52 am |

    Since humans are composed of over 50% water, complying with #7 could be a tad difficult.

  12. Droll not Troll | 4:56 am |

    I had beans for lunch. The smell is not at all unusual.

  13. Droll not Troll | 5:00 am |

    No prints in the tower? Who is going to save the printcess, then?

  14. SF | 6:01 am |

    ♪It’s not unusual not to smell like anyone♬

  15. Marum | 6:34 am |

    @DnT 0500.. An Ink Jet Princer of course But I won’t tell you where he kissed her. 😉

  16. Marum | 6:40 am |

    Two little dogs In and out. One day In got lost, but Out was able to track him down, and their mistress was able to to rescie him. Their mistress said to Out: “Aren’t you a clever boy. How did you ever find In?”

    Out replied: “Instinct I guess.”

  17. Droll not Troll | 6:42 am |

    “Thank you for your support, I shall always wear it.” – Henry Crun (The Goon Show- “The Great Bank Robbery”)

  18. Droll not Troll | 6:46 am |

    @Marum | 6:34 am: In the carriage?

  19. UCity | 6:51 am |

    Prohibit carrying tinder and exploder. Why? Because it’s fire.

  20. Marum | 7:27 am |

    @DnT. You may appreciate the correspondence beween Mr, Nilligan, And HRH the Royal Consort.. It was to do with some charity or the other.

    The Duke: “Dear Mr. Milligan, I need your support.”

    Milligan: “Dear Mr. Edinburgh, I don’t wear one.”

  21. Marum | 7:30 am |

    That’s a bummer. I always carry a pile of tinder, and a couple of detonators in my powder case.
    What else would a man want a powder case for?

  22. Marum | 7:41 am |

    Useless informsation: The Prince’s style and title in full:

    His Royal Highness The Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, Earl of Merioneth, Baron Greenwich, Royal Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Extra Knight of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle, Member of the Order of Merit, Grand Master and First and Principal Knight Grand Cross of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, Knight of the Order of Australia, Additional Member of the Order of New Zealand, Extra Companion of the Queen’s Service Order, Royal Chief of the Order of Logohu, Extraordinary Companion of the Order of Canada, Extraordinary Commander of the Order of Military Merit,[4] Canadian Forces Decoration, Lord of Her Majesty’s Most Honourable Privy Council, Privy Councillor of the Queen’s Privy Council for Canada, Personal Aide-de-Camp to Her Majesty, Lord High Admiral of the United Kingdom.[5]

  23. Marum | 7:45 am |

    The Order of Logohu (Order of NiuGini)

    Logohu (Motuan lang.) = The Bird of Paradise. The symbol of PNG.

  24. Marum | 8:09 am |

    Jeez! I wish I couuld control myself, and not get curious, and start researching crap like that all the time. it is now 0106 Brissie time, and I have to be up by 0430. Damn Phil the Greek, and his fligging titles, and Milligan too.

  25. M.U. | 9:16 am |

    Can’t have crazy drunken strippers running around in the tower. Tower is a classy establishment. Regular crazy drunks, crazy strippers, and drunken strippers are fine though.

  26. jjhitt | 11:43 am |

    You! With the hamster! Get out of the tower.
    And take your blender with you.

  27. jjhitt | 11:45 am |

    “This is my fruit knife. There are many like it, but this one is mine…”

  28. Seventy2rd o clock | 12:17 pm |

    Mmmmm …. Slogans and swords!

  29. Seventy2rd o clock | 12:26 pm |

    Liquid already includes drink, so let’s pizza.

  30. Seventy2rd o clock | 12:27 pm |

    May the force contraband with you.

  31. Seventy2rd o clock | 12:31 pm |

    NOTE: There is no spoon

  32. Seventy2rd o clock | 12:33 pm |

    The only thing I don’t understand is ‘Thank you for your understanding’.

  33. Marum | 3:47 am |

    @Dnt 0646. Actually, the undercarriage.

  34. EffEff | 5:51 am |

    The police are former Jedi.

  35. TS | 11:45 am |

    If sober, insane, and properly dressed, no problem.

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