I strongly suggest you tip.

posted on 24 Jun 2017 in Chinglish, Signs

decline-self-simultaneous-food

Photo courtesy of Ray Simpson.
Found in Beijing, China.

51 captions

  1. algernon | 4:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 17  Subtract rating 0  

    Must be Ramadan.

  2. algernon | 4:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    Must be together at the same time

  3. Marum | 4:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 12  Subtract rating 1  

    Our food is ze bomb. inshallah.

  4. Marum | 4:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    Sound like the food is playing with itself.

  5. Droll not Troll | 4:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    You can’t be the diner and the dinner!

  6. Yu No Hoo | 4:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ll have the eggs, sunni side up.

  7. Marum | 4:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    I remember in the early days of electronics, we had the “Self Exciting Diode”.
    Which we referred to as the “Masturbating Diode”.

  8. Marum | 4:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    @DNT 0408. Go eat yourself. 😆

  9. Droll not Troll | 4:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    @engrishwebmaster: Muslims practice circumcision. There will be no tip.

  10. Marum | 4:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    Is it halal?

  11. Droll not Troll | 4:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum | 4:11 am: There’s an app for that! It’s a game.

  12. Droll not Troll | 4:17 am |  Vote: Add rating 16  Subtract rating 0  

    The prices are reasonable but they still turn a prophet.

  13. Marum | 4:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    @DNT 0412. The foreskins of little boys, used to be used in skin tissue culture, for skin grafts.

    So! If your graft twitches when you go for a leak….Don’t ask why.

  14. Marum | 4:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    One faces Maccas, and prays three times a day.

  15. Yu No Hoo | 4:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 18  Subtract rating 0  

    They’re closed now, they can’t be open allah time.

  16. Droll not Troll | 4:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum | 4:10 am: I remember the first lesson about transformers, where they used 2 tubular coils of wire. The first was called the exciting coil; is there anyone who didn’t refer to the second one as the boring coil?

  17. Droll not Troll | 4:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    They don’t serve alcohol, but there is an akbar.

  18. Marum | 4:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    ALLAHU SNACKBA!

  19. Marum | 4:29 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 0  

    EDIT: ALLAHU SNACKBAR!

  20. Droll not Troll | 4:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 13  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t eat too much there; you could get fatwa.

  21. Marum | 4:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 11  Subtract rating 0  

    Some turban wearing Indians terrified some Sydney movie goers, by jumping up and yelling, Allahu Akbar.

    The press claimed it was a Sikh Joke.

    (There may have been an excuse. They were watching Baywatch with Indian actress Priyanka Chopra. Baywatch is known to destroy one’s brain)

  22. Droll not Troll | 4:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    They have fast food. It’s called suhur or iftar.

  23. Marum | 4:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    If I am correct. Iftar is the evening meal before or after prayers.

    Suhur is the dawn meal before fasting.

  24. Pete | 4:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 16  Subtract rating 0  

    Inventors of the exploding chicken?

  25. coffeebot | 5:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 14  Subtract rating 1  

    Girls under 12 marry for free!

  26. Long Tom | 6:05 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Be nice or our busboys will ram you with a serving cart!

  27. Droll not Troll | 6:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum | 4:10 am: Were they made by Siemens?

  28. Droll not Troll | 6:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    @Pete | 4:59 am: Hmm.. I was thinking a comment about suicide bombe alaska might be crossing the line.

  29. Pete | 6:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Purveyors of MOO-slim style beef.

  30. Big Fat Cat | 8:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Mathematicians specialized in simultaneous equations not welcome.

  31. Seventy2rd o clock | 8:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    CAUTION: In case of fire, use the red bomb

  32. Seventy2rd o clock | 8:40 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Come on restaurant, decline or go home.

  33. Seventy2rd o clock | 8:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Food yourself!

  34. Geo | 8:53 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    When Shi’ite hits the fan…

  35. Pete | 9:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Shi’a LeBoef’s favorite spot in Beijing!

  36. Johnny Cache | 9:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 8  Subtract rating 0  

    @algernon: More like Ramen-dan…..

  37. Seventy2rd o clock | 9:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    PS: I hate all of you.

  38. Seventy2rd o clock | 2:56 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    OK, can I Park now?

  39. Pete | 4:43 pm |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    Do they feed qibla to the pets?

  40. Eggrish | 11:47 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Decline food, get mu slim on.

  41. Droll not Troll | 1:56 am |  Vote: Add rating 10  Subtract rating 0  

    @Pete | 4:43 pm: They try not to Mecca habit of it.

  42. Marum | 3:34 pm |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    @Pete. 1643. Only if they keep getting lost Allah the time.

    BTW. Some technical ratbag invented a compass for Muslims, which always pointed to Mecca. Thus one could correctly orient one’s prayer-mat, wherever one was.

    See Qibla Compass:

    https://www.spycatcheronline.co.uk/mecca-compass.html

    I would imagine an Omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent God, would not be so petty. If you were devout enough to pray, (wherever you were) your God would be totally chuffed.

  43. Marum | 3:45 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I don’t know whether I am reading it correctly. But I would expect the numbers around the periphery to indicate the degrees. But they go to 38 (380 degrees) not 36 (360 degrees)

  44. Marum | 3:57 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Whilst there may be 360 degrees in a circle, maybe there are 380 degrees in a circular.

    Or maybe 380C is the temperature of Hell.

    Or maybe it is the combined body temperature of the 74 virgins.

    How could man understand the mind of God?

  45. Pete | 8:15 pm |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum,

    According to an interview CNN’s Fareed Zakaria did with a quranic scholar apparently what was actually promised was not 72 virgins but instead,
    72 RAISINS. Will see if i can find the clip.

    In meantime your post reminds me of a joke:

    When Osama bin Laden died…

    When Osama bin Laden died, he was met at the Pearly Gates by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!”

    Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed.”

    James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!”

    Thomas Jefferson was next, he beat Osama with a long cane and snarled, “It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence.”

    The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.

    As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Bin Laden wept and said, “This is not what an angel promised me.”

    The Angel replied, “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?”

  46. Pete | 8:22 pm |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum,

    OK, found the clip. 72 RAISINS….

    http://www.cnn.com/videos/tv/2016/05/20/exp-72-virgins.cnn/video/playlists/why-they-hate-us/

  47. Pete | 8:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum,

    Finally, I think I may have passed right by that same Muslim restaurant in Beijing pictured in the post. That green lettering rang a bell in my memory as soon as I saw the post. We were in a taxi on the way to the Beijing Zoo when I was in China in 2008. I remember seeing a very similar sign from the taxi that said “Muslim Restaurant” was in green letters and characters just like the ones in the post. If this is the same place then it’s close to either the zoo or the Beijing aquarium.

  48. Pete | 8:31 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I mean i saw the sign looking at it through the taxi’s window

  49. Pete | 1:35 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum 4:22,

    Maccas in North America = “Mickey D’s”.

  50. Pete | 11:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Don’t lose your head.
    Just avoid singing “Hail to the Chef” in there.
    It might be misconstrued.

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