I strongly suggest you tip.

posted on 24 Jun 2017 in Chinglish, Signs

decline-self-simultaneous-food

Photo courtesy of Ray Simpson.
Found in Beijing, China.

51 captions

  1. algernon | 4:02 am |

    Must be Ramadan.

  2. algernon | 4:02 am |

    Must be together at the same time

  3. Marum | 4:05 am |

    Our food is ze bomb. inshallah.

  4. Marum | 4:06 am |

    Sound like the food is playing with itself.

  5. Droll not Troll | 4:08 am |

    You can’t be the diner and the dinner!

  6. Yu No Hoo | 4:09 am |

    I’ll have the eggs, sunni side up.

  7. Marum | 4:10 am |

    I remember in the early days of electronics, we had the “Self Exciting Diode”.
    Which we referred to as the “Masturbating Diode”.

  8. Marum | 4:11 am |

    @DNT 0408. Go eat yourself. 😆

  9. Droll not Troll | 4:12 am |

    @engrishwebmaster: Muslims practice circumcision. There will be no tip.

  10. Marum | 4:15 am |

    Is it halal?

  11. Droll not Troll | 4:15 am |

    @Marum | 4:11 am: There’s an app for that! It’s a game.

  12. Droll not Troll | 4:17 am |

    The prices are reasonable but they still turn a prophet.

  13. Marum | 4:20 am |

    @DNT 0412. The foreskins of little boys, used to be used in skin tissue culture, for skin grafts.

    So! If your graft twitches when you go for a leak….Don’t ask why.

  14. Marum | 4:22 am |

    One faces Maccas, and prays three times a day.

  15. Yu No Hoo | 4:22 am |

    They’re closed now, they can’t be open allah time.

  16. Droll not Troll | 4:23 am |

    @Marum | 4:10 am: I remember the first lesson about transformers, where they used 2 tubular coils of wire. The first was called the exciting coil; is there anyone who didn’t refer to the second one as the boring coil?

  17. Droll not Troll | 4:25 am |

    They don’t serve alcohol, but there is an akbar.

  18. Marum | 4:26 am |

    ALLAHU SNACKBA!

  19. Marum | 4:29 am |

    EDIT: ALLAHU SNACKBAR!

  20. Droll not Troll | 4:33 am |

    Don’t eat too much there; you could get fatwa.

  21. Marum | 4:40 am |

    Some turban wearing Indians terrified some Sydney movie goers, by jumping up and yelling, Allahu Akbar.

    The press claimed it was a Sikh Joke.

    (There may have been an excuse. They were watching Baywatch with Indian actress Priyanka Chopra. Baywatch is known to destroy one’s brain)

  22. Droll not Troll | 4:42 am |

    They have fast food. It’s called suhur or iftar.

  23. Marum | 4:56 am |

    If I am correct. Iftar is the evening meal before or after prayers.

    Suhur is the dawn meal before fasting.

  24. Pete | 4:59 am |

    Inventors of the exploding chicken?

  25. coffeebot | 5:02 am |

    Girls under 12 marry for free!

  26. Long Tom | 6:05 am |

    Be nice or our busboys will ram you with a serving cart!

  27. Droll not Troll | 6:06 am |

    @Marum | 4:10 am: Were they made by Siemens?

  28. Droll not Troll | 6:10 am |

    @Pete | 4:59 am: Hmm.. I was thinking a comment about suicide bombe alaska might be crossing the line.

  29. Pete | 6:28 am |

    Purveyors of MOO-slim style beef.

  30. Big Fat Cat | 8:02 am |

    Mathematicians specialized in simultaneous equations not welcome.

  31. Seventy2rd o clock | 8:39 am |

    CAUTION: In case of fire, use the red bomb

  32. Seventy2rd o clock | 8:40 am |

    Come on restaurant, decline or go home.

  33. Seventy2rd o clock | 8:41 am |

    Food yourself!

  34. Geo | 8:53 am |

    When Shi’ite hits the fan…

  35. Pete | 9:08 am |

    Shi’a LeBoef’s favorite spot in Beijing!

  36. Johnny Cache | 9:13 am |

    @algernon: More like Ramen-dan…..

  37. Seventy2rd o clock | 9:33 am |

    PS: I hate all of you.

  38. Seventy2rd o clock | 2:56 pm |

    OK, can I Park now?

  39. Pete | 4:43 pm |

    Do they feed qibla to the pets?

  40. Eggrish | 11:47 pm |

    Decline food, get mu slim on.

  41. Droll not Troll | 1:56 am |

    @Pete | 4:43 pm: They try not to Mecca habit of it.

  42. Marum | 3:34 pm |

    @Pete. 1643. Only if they keep getting lost Allah the time.

    BTW. Some technical ratbag invented a compass for Muslims, which always pointed to Mecca. Thus one could correctly orient one’s prayer-mat, wherever one was.

    See Qibla Compass:

    https://www.spycatcheronline.co.uk/mecca-compass.html

    I would imagine an Omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent God, would not be so petty. If you were devout enough to pray, (wherever you were) your God would be totally chuffed.

  43. Marum | 3:45 pm |

    I don’t know whether I am reading it correctly. But I would expect the numbers around the periphery to indicate the degrees. But they go to 38 (380 degrees) not 36 (360 degrees)

  44. Marum | 3:57 pm |

    Whilst there may be 360 degrees in a circle, maybe there are 380 degrees in a circular.

    Or maybe 380C is the temperature of Hell.

    Or maybe it is the combined body temperature of the 74 virgins.

    How could man understand the mind of God?

  45. Pete | 8:15 pm |

    @Marum,

    According to an interview CNN’s Fareed Zakaria did with a quranic scholar apparently what was actually promised was not 72 virgins but instead,
    72 RAISINS. Will see if i can find the clip.

    In meantime your post reminds me of a joke:

    When Osama bin Laden died…

    When Osama bin Laden died, he was met at the Pearly Gates by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!”

    Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed.”

    James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!”

    Thomas Jefferson was next, he beat Osama with a long cane and snarled, “It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence.”

    The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.

    As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Bin Laden wept and said, “This is not what an angel promised me.”

    The Angel replied, “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?”

  46. Pete | 8:22 pm |

    @Marum,

    OK, found the clip. 72 RAISINS….

    http://www.cnn.com/videos/tv/2016/05/20/exp-72-virgins.cnn/video/playlists/why-they-hate-us/

  47. Pete | 8:30 pm |

    @Marum,

    Finally, I think I may have passed right by that same Muslim restaurant in Beijing pictured in the post. That green lettering rang a bell in my memory as soon as I saw the post. We were in a taxi on the way to the Beijing Zoo when I was in China in 2008. I remember seeing a very similar sign from the taxi that said “Muslim Restaurant” was in green letters and characters just like the ones in the post. If this is the same place then it’s close to either the zoo or the Beijing aquarium.

  48. Pete | 8:31 pm |

    I mean i saw the sign looking at it through the taxi’s window

  49. Pete | 1:35 pm |

    @Marum 4:22,

    Maccas in North America = “Mickey D’s”.

  50. Pete | 11:39 am |

    Don’t lose your head.
    Just avoid singing “Hail to the Chef” in there.
    It might be misconstrued.

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