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posted on 23 Jul 2017 in Buildings, Engrish from Other Countries

Grand-Gross-Hotel

Photo courtesy of Marc Fresko.
Found in Istanbul, Turkey.

32 captions

  1. algernon | 4:02 am |

    For the overly fat

  2. algernon | 4:03 am |

    I’d like something small

  3. Droll not Troll | 4:15 am |

    144 rooms for $1000?

  4. Pete | 4:15 am |

    That’s jive, Turkey!

  5. Droll not Troll | 4:23 am |

    Before choosing the name they should have disgust it more thoroughly.

  6. Big Fat Cat | 4:23 am |

    We are affiliated with the Hotel California.

  7. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:25 am |

    At first it was called ‘hostel’

  8. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:26 am |

    NOTE: Please early pay before living

  9. Pete | 4:32 am |

    Buffet serves Hassan Chop

  10. Yu No Hoo | 4:36 am |

    I’ve got reservations and I haven’t even called them yet.

  11. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:44 am |

    CAUTION:
    – A person hanging up means ”I will never use it again”
    – A person on the floor means ”Please leave me alone”

  12. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:10 am |

    – Hello, reception? I need a cleaning service.
    – Dial M for murder, Madam.

  13. Droll not Troll | 5:18 am |

    The entrance used to be a revolting door.

  14. Marum | 5:27 am |

    We have 144 rooms, in varying stages of filthiness.

  15. Marum | 5:30 am |

    “Would you like a rat with your coffee?” (Basil.
    Faulty Towers – The episode with the Health Inspector and the rat)

  16. Marum | 5:47 am |

    You think the Hotel is gross.

    All the prostitutes are 144+KG (317 lb)

  17. Long Tom | 6:16 am |

    My home village of Brookfield was originally named “Grossdale”, after its founder Samuel Gross. The local high school still bears his name though.

  18. Marum | 6:31 am |

    “SIRE! SIRE! The poor are revolting.”

    King: “Of course they are. Just look at the scurvy pack of knaves.”

  19. Marum | 6:41 am |

    Our Bed-bugs are a s big as rats.

    In the morning, all that will be left is your bloodless desiccated corpse, lying on the bed.

  20. Geo | 9:27 am |

    Alternative name: The Grand Buda-PEST Hotel

  21. Lora | 12:10 pm |

    You know it’s gross because instead of little chocolates they leave Rolaids tablets on your pillow.

  22. Classic Steve | 12:39 pm |

    Turkey’s first attempt at a love hotel didn’t work well.

  23. Seventy2rd o clock | 1:36 pm |

    Frequently compared to Fawlty Towers and Watery Fowls

  24. Pete | 3:30 pm |

    72 raisins left by pillow during turndown service.

  25. Rt | 3:54 pm |

    Our floor’s so clean you can eat right off it! There’s ketchup, and mustard, and eggs, and steak on the ground right now, in fact!

  26. Marum | 12:18 am |

    The US forces finally kill Osama bin Laden, he urns up at the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington. “How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!” yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

    Patrick Henry comes up from behind. “You wanted to end the Americans’ liberty, so they gave you death!” Henry punches Osama on the nose.

    James Madison comes up next, and says “This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defence!” He drops Osama. with a knee to the groin.

    Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America.

    As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up, and hurls him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.

    As Osama lies on the ground crying, broken and bleeding, he whimpers: “This is not what I expected.”

    The Archangel replies “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?”

  27. Marum | 12:28 am |

    BTW. Stollen from the net and polished a leetle.

    ‘Tis a great joke, which I would be proud to claim as mine own.

    BTW. I am aware that “Stolen” is a German word for cake. So, PUNish me for it.

  28. Marum | 12:33 am |

    Stollen = Der Stollen, oder Der Christstollen.

  29. Droll not Troll | 3:11 am |

    @Marum | 12:28 am: It’s not such a crumby joke. 😛

  30. Pete | 6:42 am |

    @Marum 12:18,

    As a proud Virginian I endorse this message.
    (Even if I did tell the same joke here just a few short weeks ago…)

  31. Marum | 5:34 am |

    @Pete above. Never saw it mate. Otherwise I would not have posted it.

  32. Pete | 9:42 am |

    @Marum 5:34,

    No worries. It’s all good.

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