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posted on 23 Jul 2017 in Buildings, Engrish from Other Countries

Grand-Gross-Hotel

Photo courtesy of Marc Fresko.
Found in Istanbul, Turkey.

32 captions

  1. algernon | 4:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 1  

    For the overly fat

  2. algernon | 4:03 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I’d like something small

  3. Droll not Troll | 4:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    144 rooms for $1000?

  4. Pete | 4:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    That’s jive, Turkey!

  5. Droll not Troll | 4:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    Before choosing the name they should have disgust it more thoroughly.

  6. Big Fat Cat | 4:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    We are affiliated with the Hotel California.

  7. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:25 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    At first it was called ‘hostel’

  8. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:26 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    NOTE: Please early pay before living

  9. Pete | 4:32 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Buffet serves Hassan Chop

  10. Yu No Hoo | 4:36 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    I’ve got reservations and I haven’t even called them yet.

  11. Seventy2rd o clock | 4:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    CAUTION:
    – A person hanging up means ”I will never use it again”
    – A person on the floor means ”Please leave me alone”

  12. Seventy2rd o clock | 5:10 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    – Hello, reception? I need a cleaning service.
    – Dial M for murder, Madam.

  13. Droll not Troll | 5:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    The entrance used to be a revolting door.

  14. Marum | 5:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    We have 144 rooms, in varying stages of filthiness.

  15. Marum | 5:30 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    “Would you like a rat with your coffee?” (Basil.
    Faulty Towers – The episode with the Health Inspector and the rat)

  16. Marum | 5:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 1  

    You think the Hotel is gross.

    All the prostitutes are 144+KG (317 lb)

  17. Long Tom | 6:16 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    My home village of Brookfield was originally named “Grossdale”, after its founder Samuel Gross. The local high school still bears his name though.

  18. Marum | 6:31 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    “SIRE! SIRE! The poor are revolting.”

    King: “Of course they are. Just look at the scurvy pack of knaves.”

  19. Marum | 6:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Our Bed-bugs are a s big as rats.

    In the morning, all that will be left is your bloodless desiccated corpse, lying on the bed.

  20. Geo | 9:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Alternative name: The Grand Buda-PEST Hotel

  21. Lora | 12:10 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    You know it’s gross because instead of little chocolates they leave Rolaids tablets on your pillow.

  22. Classic Steve | 12:39 pm |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Turkey’s first attempt at a love hotel didn’t work well.

  23. Seventy2rd o clock | 1:36 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Frequently compared to Fawlty Towers and Watery Fowls

  24. Pete | 3:30 pm |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    72 raisins left by pillow during turndown service.

  25. Rt | 3:54 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Our floor’s so clean you can eat right off it! There’s ketchup, and mustard, and eggs, and steak on the ground right now, in fact!

  26. Marum | 12:18 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    The US forces finally kill Osama bin Laden, he urns up at the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington. “How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!” yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

    Patrick Henry comes up from behind. “You wanted to end the Americans’ liberty, so they gave you death!” Henry punches Osama on the nose.

    James Madison comes up next, and says “This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defence!” He drops Osama. with a knee to the groin.

    Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America.

    As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up, and hurls him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.

    As Osama lies on the ground crying, broken and bleeding, he whimpers: “This is not what I expected.”

    The Archangel replies “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?”

  27. Marum | 12:28 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    BTW. Stollen from the net and polished a leetle.

    ‘Tis a great joke, which I would be proud to claim as mine own.

    BTW. I am aware that “Stolen” is a German word for cake. So, PUNish me for it.

  28. Marum | 12:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Stollen = Der Stollen, oder Der Christstollen.

  29. Droll not Troll | 3:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum | 12:28 am: It’s not such a crumby joke. 😛

  30. Pete | 6:42 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum 12:18,

    As a proud Virginian I endorse this message.
    (Even if I did tell the same joke here just a few short weeks ago…)

  31. Marum | 5:34 am |

    @Pete above. Never saw it mate. Otherwise I would not have posted it.

  32. Pete | 9:42 am |

    @Marum 5:34,

    No worries. It’s all good.

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