Wood you buy a car from him?

posted on 9 May 2018 in Signs

nice-beaver

Got a car from a bad beaver once…

Photo courtesy of Shane Krumeich.
Found in Japan. 

47 captions

  1. Droll not Troll | 4:04 am |

    Must be selling Volvos.

  2. Yu No Hoo | 4:04 am |

    The dam thing won’t start.

  3. Yu No Hoo | 4:06 am |

    They’ve got all the poplar models.

  4. Droll not Troll | 4:07 am |

    I’d like to dicker over the price.

  5. Yu No Hoo | 4:08 am |

    Check for a hole in the muff-ler.

  6. algernon | 4:08 am |

    Has a pussy under the hood

  7. algernon | 4:09 am |

    Would you buy a used car from a beaver

  8. Droll not Troll | 4:11 am |

    Likes to be upfront about a sale.

  9. Droll not Troll | 4:11 am |

    Auto or stick?

  10. Droll not Troll | 4:12 am |

    Branches everywhere!

  11. Marum | 4:22 am |

    Mary had a little lamb,
    She also had a Beaver,
    Everyone played with Mary’s lamb,
    But only one man played with her Beaver.

  12. seventy2rd o clock | 4:24 am |

    His name is Arthur O’Dent

  13. Droll not Troll | 4:24 am |

    Open to the general pubic.

  14. Marum | 4:24 am |

    BTW. All Beavers are nice.

    But some, are even nicer.

  15. Marum | 4:27 am |

    Would you buy a car from a Beaver.

    I think I would do almost anything, for a really nice Beaver.

  16. Yu No Hoo | 4:27 am |

    I had a close shave in one of these.

  17. Yu No Hoo | 4:38 am |

    I want one with a big back seat.

  18. Big Fat Cat | 4:43 am |

    Beware of used beaver salesman!

  19. Frank Burns | 4:59 am |

    Wood you buy a used car here?
    I’ve got a bad feeling gnawing at me…..

  20. Christian | 5:33 am |

    This beaver looks nothing like Priscilla Presley.

  21. algernon | 5:39 am |

    Mike Literous says so

  22. Marum | 5:41 am |

    A Beaver’s favourite song.

    ♫All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth♪

  23. Marum | 5:45 am |

    @FB 0459.

    More pertinent. Would you buy a used Beaver here?

  24. Marum | 5:47 am |

    @Christian 0533.

    But its arse looks a lot like Kim Kardashian’s.

  25. UCity | 5:50 am |

    Anything with wood trim?

  26. Marum | 5:52 am |

    Madame Claude, keeper of Paris brothel for the rich and famous, dies aged 92
    Fernande Grudet, as she was born in 1923, ran network of hundreds of sex workers and was subject of several French films

    Kim Willsher in Paris

    Tue 22 Dec 2015 23.23 AEDT Last modified on Wed 29 Nov 2017 16.22 AEDT
    This article is over 2 years old

    Fernande Grudet, or Madame Claude
    Fernande Grudet unexpectedly once advised: ‘Never have sex on the first date.’ Photograph: Laurent Rebours/AP
    France’s most famous brothel keeper, whose clientele included ministers, diplomats and business leaders in the 1960s and 70s, has died aged 92.

    In her heyday, Fernande Grudet, who was known by her alias Madame Claude, had a network of more than 500 young women and a handful of young men, as well as an address book that, she claimed, included John F Kennedy, the Shah of Iran and Fiat boss Giovanni Agnelli.

    Her clientele afforded her some protection, but she mostly kept out of police trouble by secretly passing on clients’ pillow talk to the French authorities.

    The second daughter of a modest family from Angers, Grudet was born in 1923. She fell into the company of criminals when she arrived in Paris in the 1950s and began to work in the sex trade.

    However, she had ambitions. By the end of the decade Grudet had reinvented herself as the child of a bourgeois family and member of the Resistance, and adopted the name Madame Claude to launch a maison close for the rich and famous.

    Fernande Grudet, then aged 68, leaves a Paris court in 1987.
    Facebook Twitter Pinterest
    Fernande Grudet, then aged 68, leaves a Paris court in 1987. Photograph: Joel Robine/AFP
    It was here that any similarity with the Streatham madam Cynthia Payne evaporated: Claude’s at 32 rue de Boulainvilliers in Paris’s chic 16th arrondissement – one of the most expensive areas of the French capital – aimed for high class, not homely.

    Advertisement

    But the arrival in the 1970s of centre-right president Valéry Giscard d’Estaing brought an official determination to stamp out prostitution and pimping and marked the beginning of the end for Madame Claude.

    Pursued by the French taxman for 11m francs (about €6.6m, or £4.9m) in unpaid taxes, she fled to the US, returning in 1986 to spend four months in jail.

    It was the first of Grudet’s many brushes with the law. On her release from prison she tried to set up a network of young women, leading to a conviction for pimping and another spell behind bars.

    She was the subject of a number of French films, including Madame Claude by Just Jaeckin, the director of the 1974 film Emmanuelle.

    Françoise Fabian, who played Claude in the film, told magazine: “I was struck by her cynical view of sex between men and women. To her, men were nothing more than wallets. I suspected there was a secret suffering behind her words. I remember she banned her girls from wearing black underwear. All of them had to wear white.”

    In 1992 Claude produced a video entitled How to Seduce by Madame Claude in which she advised, with unexpected prudishness: “Never have sex on the first date.”

    In recent years, she lived as a recluse on the French Riviera, where she died, aged 92, on Monday.

  27. Pete | 6:12 am |

    Sales guy: What color would you like to buy?

    Customer: We-elll….what colors are available?

    Sales guy: Typically, black, brown, red and yellow. But those last two come at a premium. There are a lot fewer of them.

  28. Pete | 6:13 am |

    @Christian 5:33 am,

    You forgot the apostrophe S.

  29. Nonsuch Ned | 6:44 am |

    I stuffed it myself.

  30. Marum | 6:45 am |

    @Yu No Hoo 0404.

    Mighta’ been a Chevy Nova.

    no va (Esp) = it does not go. eg. Mi coche no va. (My car doesn’t go)

  31. Marum | 6:46 am |

    @Pete 0613. The four horsemen of the apostrophe?

  32. Pete | 7:02 am |

    @Marum 6:46,

    I’ll let Priscilla be the judge of that.

  33. Chris | 7:09 am |

    Would I!

  34. Lora | 11:11 am |

    I always preferred Beaver over Butt-Head.

  35. Classic Steve | 1:51 pm |

    “Thanks. I just had it stuffed.”

  36. Marum | 4:22 pm |

    I do believe he’s an eager Beaver.

  37. Marum | 4:26 pm |

    “Sean! Sean! LOOK! It’s the FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOSTROPHE!”

    “Relax Patrick relax. It’s not the end of the sentence.”

  38. Marum | 4:33 pm |

    Writing limericks is easy peasy,
    But the humour is mostly cheesy,
    There is a set rhyme,
    Which to break is a crime,
    But trying to fit a many letters into the last line as you possibly can isn’t always easy.

  39. Pete | 7:45 pm |

    @Marum 4:33,

    There once was a beaver named Jane,
    Whom everyone thought was quite plain.
    She bought some enhancements,
    Now has many romancements,
    And now SHE chooses who rides her love train!

  40. Droll not Troll | 12:15 am |

    @Yu No Hoo | 4:08 am: Wouldn’t want a badly worn bush in the front end, either!

  41. Droll not Troll | 12:20 am |

    @Lora | 11:11 am: Can’t say I ever tried that position. Sounds uncomfortable!

  42. Droll not Troll | 1:23 am |

    @Marum | 4:33 pm:

    There once was a beaver called Sam
    Who always had money in hand.
    When I asked “How the ferk?”
    He said “I sell my work;
    For, you see, I just don’t give a dam!”

  43. Yu No Hoo | 3:45 am |

    Japanese beavers are known for taking a bough.

  44. Marum | 6:38 am |

    I think it helps that I do lots of crosswords.

    There once was a randy old Beaver,
    Who told a young lass he would never leave ‘er,
    But after a day or so,
    She caught him In flagrante delicto,
    For the rodent was a dirty rotten deceiver.

  45. Long Tom | 2:40 pm |

    A home center chain in Chicago: https://www.yelp.com/biz/crafty-beaver-home-centers-chicago-2

  46. Pete | 6:19 pm |

    @DnT 12:20,

    Sounds more like yoga to me!

  47. EffEff | 8:53 pm |

    Does it come with a beaver magnet?

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