Wood you buy a car from him?

posted on 9 May 2018 in Signs

nice-beaver

Got a car from a bad beaver once…

Photo courtesy of Shane Krumeich.
Found in Japan. 

47 captions

  1. Droll not Troll | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Must be selling Volvos.

  2. Yu No Hoo | 4:04 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 2  

    The dam thing won’t start.

  3. Yu No Hoo | 4:06 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    They’ve got all the poplar models.

  4. Droll not Troll | 4:07 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I’d like to dicker over the price.

  5. Yu No Hoo | 4:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    Check for a hole in the muff-ler.

  6. algernon | 4:08 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 1  

    Has a pussy under the hood

  7. algernon | 4:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Would you buy a used car from a beaver

  8. Droll not Troll | 4:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Likes to be upfront about a sale.

  9. Droll not Troll | 4:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Auto or stick?

  10. Droll not Troll | 4:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Branches everywhere!

  11. Marum | 4:22 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 2  

    Mary had a little lamb,
    She also had a Beaver,
    Everyone played with Mary’s lamb,
    But only one man played with her Beaver.

  12. seventy2rd o clock | 4:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    His name is Arthur O’Dent

  13. Droll not Troll | 4:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Open to the general pubic.

  14. Marum | 4:24 am |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    BTW. All Beavers are nice.

    But some, are even nicer.

  15. Marum | 4:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Would you buy a car from a Beaver.

    I think I would do almost anything, for a really nice Beaver.

  16. Yu No Hoo | 4:27 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I had a close shave in one of these.

  17. Yu No Hoo | 4:38 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    I want one with a big back seat.

  18. Big Fat Cat | 4:43 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Beware of used beaver salesman!

  19. Frank Burns | 4:59 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Wood you buy a used car here?
    I’ve got a bad feeling gnawing at me…..

  20. Christian | 5:33 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    This beaver looks nothing like Priscilla Presley.

  21. algernon | 5:39 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Mike Literous says so

  22. Marum | 5:41 am |  Vote: Add rating 9  Subtract rating 0  

    A Beaver’s favourite song.

    ♫All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth♪

  23. Marum | 5:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    @FB 0459.

    More pertinent. Would you buy a used Beaver here?

  24. Marum | 5:47 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    @Christian 0533.

    But its arse looks a lot like Kim Kardashian’s.

  25. UCity | 5:50 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    Anything with wood trim?

  26. Marum | 5:52 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    Madame Claude, keeper of Paris brothel for the rich and famous, dies aged 92
    Fernande Grudet, as she was born in 1923, ran network of hundreds of sex workers and was subject of several French films

    Kim Willsher in Paris

    Tue 22 Dec 2015 23.23 AEDT Last modified on Wed 29 Nov 2017 16.22 AEDT
    This article is over 2 years old

    Fernande Grudet, or Madame Claude
    Fernande Grudet unexpectedly once advised: ‘Never have sex on the first date.’ Photograph: Laurent Rebours/AP
    France’s most famous brothel keeper, whose clientele included ministers, diplomats and business leaders in the 1960s and 70s, has died aged 92.

    In her heyday, Fernande Grudet, who was known by her alias Madame Claude, had a network of more than 500 young women and a handful of young men, as well as an address book that, she claimed, included John F Kennedy, the Shah of Iran and Fiat boss Giovanni Agnelli.

    Her clientele afforded her some protection, but she mostly kept out of police trouble by secretly passing on clients’ pillow talk to the French authorities.

    The second daughter of a modest family from Angers, Grudet was born in 1923. She fell into the company of criminals when she arrived in Paris in the 1950s and began to work in the sex trade.

    However, she had ambitions. By the end of the decade Grudet had reinvented herself as the child of a bourgeois family and member of the Resistance, and adopted the name Madame Claude to launch a maison close for the rich and famous.

    Fernande Grudet, then aged 68, leaves a Paris court in 1987.
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    Fernande Grudet, then aged 68, leaves a Paris court in 1987. Photograph: Joel Robine/AFP
    It was here that any similarity with the Streatham madam Cynthia Payne evaporated: Claude’s at 32 rue de Boulainvilliers in Paris’s chic 16th arrondissement – one of the most expensive areas of the French capital – aimed for high class, not homely.

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    But the arrival in the 1970s of centre-right president Valéry Giscard d’Estaing brought an official determination to stamp out prostitution and pimping and marked the beginning of the end for Madame Claude.

    Pursued by the French taxman for 11m francs (about €6.6m, or £4.9m) in unpaid taxes, she fled to the US, returning in 1986 to spend four months in jail.

    It was the first of Grudet’s many brushes with the law. On her release from prison she tried to set up a network of young women, leading to a conviction for pimping and another spell behind bars.

    She was the subject of a number of French films, including Madame Claude by Just Jaeckin, the director of the 1974 film Emmanuelle.

    Françoise Fabian, who played Claude in the film, told magazine: “I was struck by her cynical view of sex between men and women. To her, men were nothing more than wallets. I suspected there was a secret suffering behind her words. I remember she banned her girls from wearing black underwear. All of them had to wear white.”

    In 1992 Claude produced a video entitled How to Seduce by Madame Claude in which she advised, with unexpected prudishness: “Never have sex on the first date.”

    In recent years, she lived as a recluse on the French Riviera, where she died, aged 92, on Monday.

  27. Pete | 6:12 am |  Vote: Add rating 2  Subtract rating 0  

    Sales guy: What color would you like to buy?

    Customer: We-elll….what colors are available?

    Sales guy: Typically, black, brown, red and yellow. But those last two come at a premium. There are a lot fewer of them.

  28. Pete | 6:13 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    @Christian 5:33 am,

    You forgot the apostrophe S.

  29. Nonsuch Ned | 6:44 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    I stuffed it myself.

  30. Marum | 6:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    @Yu No Hoo 0404.

    Mighta’ been a Chevy Nova.

    no va (Esp) = it does not go. eg. Mi coche no va. (My car doesn’t go)

  31. Marum | 6:46 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    @Pete 0613. The four horsemen of the apostrophe?

  32. Pete | 7:02 am |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum 6:46,

    I’ll let Priscilla be the judge of that.

  33. Chris | 7:09 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Would I!

  34. Lora | 11:11 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I always preferred Beaver over Butt-Head.

  35. Classic Steve | 1:51 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    “Thanks. I just had it stuffed.”

  36. Marum | 4:22 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    I do believe he’s an eager Beaver.

  37. Marum | 4:26 pm |  Vote: Add rating 6  Subtract rating 0  

    “Sean! Sean! LOOK! It’s the FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOSTROPHE!”

    “Relax Patrick relax. It’s not the end of the sentence.”

  38. Marum | 4:33 pm |  Vote: Add rating 5  Subtract rating 0  

    Writing limericks is easy peasy,
    But the humour is mostly cheesy,
    There is a set rhyme,
    Which to break is a crime,
    But trying to fit a many letters into the last line as you possibly can isn’t always easy.

  39. Pete | 7:45 pm |  Vote: Add rating 7  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum 4:33,

    There once was a beaver named Jane,
    Whom everyone thought was quite plain.
    She bought some enhancements,
    Now has many romancements,
    And now SHE chooses who rides her love train!

  40. Droll not Troll | 12:15 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    @Yu No Hoo | 4:08 am: Wouldn’t want a badly worn bush in the front end, either!

  41. Droll not Troll | 12:20 am |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    @Lora | 11:11 am: Can’t say I ever tried that position. Sounds uncomfortable!

  42. Droll not Troll | 1:23 am |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    @Marum | 4:33 pm:

    There once was a beaver called Sam
    Who always had money in hand.
    When I asked “How the ferk?”
    He said “I sell my work;
    For, you see, I just don’t give a dam!”

  43. Yu No Hoo | 3:45 am |  Vote: Add rating 4  Subtract rating 0  

    Japanese beavers are known for taking a bough.

  44. Marum | 6:38 am |  Vote: Add rating 3  Subtract rating 0  

    I think it helps that I do lots of crosswords.

    There once was a randy old Beaver,
    Who told a young lass he would never leave ‘er,
    But after a day or so,
    She caught him In flagrante delicto,
    For the rodent was a dirty rotten deceiver.

  45. Long Tom | 2:40 pm |  Vote: Add rating 1  Subtract rating 0  

    A home center chain in Chicago: https://www.yelp.com/biz/crafty-beaver-home-centers-chicago-2

  46. Pete | 6:19 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    @DnT 12:20,

    Sounds more like yoga to me!

  47. EffEff | 8:53 pm |  Vote: Add rating 0  Subtract rating 0  

    Does it come with a beaver magnet?

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