Second hand smonking is just as bad

posted on 12 Oct 2018 in Chinglish, Signs

Finally a dedicated room to smonk freely

Photo courtesy of Fiona Pattison.
Found in China. 

31 captions

  1. Running Comment | 5:14 am |

    Ah, another classic: E.M. Forster’s “A Room with a Smonk”.

  2. Droll not Troll | 5:38 am |

    If the room is smonking, don’t bother knonking!

  3. Droll not Troll | 5:39 am |

    Reserved for the king of Smon.

  4. DrLex | 5:58 am |

    The Japanese smork, but the Chinese smonk.

  5. Marum | 6:01 am |

    He’s been smonking the monkey.

  6. Marum | 6:07 am |

    How many of you said – mon key – first time, instead of – munk key?

    I know I did.

  7. Marum | 6:12 am |

    Dr Lex 0558.
    And the Thai ladies smirk, for they knew exactly what to do with it.

    And the la filipinas, are too busy to say anything.

  8. Pete | 6:12 am |

    With a population of over 1.5 billion people, it goes as an axiom that the Chinese people enjoy smonking (with) their horns.

    ; – )

  9. Marum | 6:20 am |

    @DNT 0539.

    In the kingdom of Smon in days of old,
    When the knights were bold –
    And lavatories weren’t invented,
    They dropped their loads,
    In the middle of the roads,
    And went away contented.

  10. Marum | 6:22 am |

    @pete 0612.

    Q: What is a clack,

    A. It is where a Chinese man puts his plick.

  11. Marum | 6:31 am |

    In olden days men were to walk on the outside, (road side) of a lady.

    Ostensibly, to prevent them being splashed with muddy water, by carriages passing by.

    But after extensive research, I am free to tell you.

    It was done, so that when they emptied their chamber-pots out of the window….They got the bitch – not you.

  12. Marum | 6:38 am |

    Better to smell of muddy water.

    Than Pafum de Toilet.

    (I apologise for my “dog French” – I never ever studied French. Aside from “kitchen French” – Ich nur ein paar worter auf Franzosich sprechen.

  13. Frank Burns | 8:19 am |

    “Now teacher don’t you fill me up with your rules,
    ’cause everybody knows that smonking ain’t allowed in school”.

  14. Long Tom | 10:06 am |

    Peter Gabriel-“You know you’ve got to shock the smonkey!

  15. Eggrish | 12:04 pm |

    Looks like the :thonk: emoji will have a nicotine enhanced cousin very soon. :smonking”

  16. Algernon | 1:47 pm |

    Where you go after the bonking room.

  17. Algernon | 1:51 pm |

    I guess smonk gets in you ears here

  18. Peter Chan | 4:54 pm |

    Chinese monks smonk. Natural for them.

  19. Big Fat Cat | 6:47 pm |

    The ideal place for Smeditation!

  20. Droll not Troll | 9:35 pm |

    Do you smoke after bonking? Try using a lubricant.

  21. Droll not Troll | 3:59 am |

    Engrish is only Engrish, but a Chinese cigar is a smonk.
    -Ludyard Kipring.

  22. Marum | 5:24 am |

    @DnT 0315. Being a Great fan of the illustrious Mr Kipling’s books, i find that hilarious. Ludyard Kipring indeed!

    Q: What do you think of Kipling?

    A: Dunno! I’ve never kippled.

  23. Marum | 5:33 am |

    Especially Mowgli. Hehe I was in the cubs too. As for the secret dance of the Elephant.
    Do you know an Elephant has four knees, but can’t jump. Which I think is no bad thing. (The lack of ability to jump that is) Imagine how dangerous the jungle would be if Elephants could jump? One could spring upon yo, out of every bush or tree.

  24. Marum | 6:14 am |

    Let,s see Ein Märchen aus alten Zeiten,
    Das kommt mir nicht aus dem Sinn.

    Pack, pack, pack Akela’s calling,
    See the wolf-cubs how they run,
    Helter skelter from theit lair,
    To the old wolf standing there,
    It’s the call that must be answered at the run.

    Mein Gott! Ich war zehn yahre alt, when I was a Cub.

    Now the cup of life is nearly empty. But at least I got the chance to kiss the prettiest girl, and drink much of the nicest wine. ‘Twould be churlish, to ask for more.

  25. Marum | 6:28 am |

    Stollen from Heinrick Heine.
    My interpretation of those first lines from Die Lorelei, into the Australian vernacular.

    I don’t know what makes me so sad,
    A memory of old times which comes to me out of the blue.

    Hehe, that should give; Der Grammar Nazis, screaming fits.

  26. Droll not Troll | 5:27 pm |

    @Marum | 6:28 am: How nice of Herr Heine to send you a cake!

  27. Droll not Troll | 6:15 pm |

    @Marum: I don’t speak German, BTW. Along life’s way, I’ve picked up a smattering of several languages. My high school offered only French and Latin.
    I was in the cubs too; don’t recall the elephant dance, though.
    I can understand why elephants don’t jump. They’d need about a dozen legs to survive the landing!

  28. Big Fat Cat | 7:30 pm |

    @DNT 6:15pm You are lucky. My high school offered French fries and Chinese junk food and the cafeteria lady spoke Engrish.

  29. Droll not Troll | 12:25 am |

    @Big Fat Cat | 7:30 pm: Shall we perform Python’s “Four Yorkshiremen” sketch? 😛

  30. Big Fat Cat | 11:23 am |

    @DNT 12:25pm: We should , but the youngster today will not believe what we say. I have never lived in a lake or shoe box before.

  31. seventy2rd o clock | 8:20 am |

    Because smorking is so last decade.

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