I can’t tell if I turned off the lights.

posted on 5 Jun 2019 in Chinglish, Household Items, Toys

This is the last time I hire a poet for product description.

Photo courtesy of Whiteley Foster.

25 captions

  1. Algernon | 4:07 am |

    I want the light off

  2. Algernon | 4:08 am |

    The day the day the light of day

  3. Droll not Troll | 4:19 am |

    I don’t remember if I forget, either. It’s a real turn off.

  4. Droll not Troll | 4:23 am |

    Night lights are not supposed to shine in the day. It’s a union thing.

  5. Droll not Troll | 4:26 am |

    “I woke up at midnight, still see clearly”. Now, is that a blues/gospel lyric, or what?

  6. Droll not Troll | 4:29 am |

    “Night light mushroom shape” – Put it away, Donald.

  7. Frank Burns | 4:54 am |

    But will it keep the monsters away?

  8. Droll not Troll | 5:27 am |

    Product features? With that text, I think they mean “Praise Jesus!” “(I have seen the light!)”

  9. iLock | 5:29 am |

    My sleep, I wrote this in my sleep.
    In dream, turned the made sense switch on in dream, made the senses in the dream dreams dream

  10. Running Comment | 5:39 am |

    Aha ! The night of the living daylights !

  11. Running Comment | 5:40 am |

    The bells, the bells…!

  12. Chris | 7:08 am |

    He’s a poet, and-um, not aware of the fact.

  13. Marum | 7:13 am |

    The little fairy got pregnant because she sat on the night light. Because it was not a mushroom, but a toad’stool.

  14. Marum | 7:18 am |

    And the Lord said. LET THERE BE LIGHT.”

    And lo. He could see for f—en miles.

  15. Marum | 7:21 am |

    If my bum looks big on the mushroom, how does my Vay-jay looks on the toadstool.

  16. Marum | 7:27 am |

    AWAKE! The Jiao Bai light has driven the stars from the field of night,
    An lights the hotel room with a beam of light.

    Now try to sleep, you bastard!

  17. Marum | 8:46 am |

    Chineeesee blank verse, turn round-eye brain to water.

    And the round-eye to hard liquor.

  18. Marum | 8:51 am |

    Sir Lancelot put headlights and tail lights on his trusty steed.

    One could say, they were———Knight-lights.BOOM BOOM

  19. Peter Chan | 3:31 pm |

    The night, the night light lights right up, revealing with no slight delight the plight of the tree with blight – the tree where the bird alights . . .

  20. Marum | 4:03 pm |

    Stuff your bloody night light. I have a young Chinese lady who is too shy with the light on. We have not been able to make; “The beast With Two Backs”, for over a week now.

    To be plain: “I don’t want to see at midnight. I’d prefer to be having orgasms at the stroke of twelve.”


  21. Big Fat Cat | 6:50 pm |

    As JiaoBai light shines in your mouth

  22. Wax Frog | 9:08 pm |

    I sooooo want to hear Justin Hayward read this aloud!

  23. Droll not Troll | 10:53 pm |

    @BFC: Midnight? I think it might be tooth hurty!

  24. DrLex | 2:55 am |

    Looks like the result of an overdose of ’shrooms.

  25. Droll not Troll | 3:06 am |

    Nighty night, light light, don’t let the mushrooms bite.

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