There are all kinds of farks…

posted on 12 Jul 2019 in Chinglish, Household Items

Photo courtesy of Erika T.
Vinyl placemat from China. 

29 captions

  1. Algernon | 4:02 am |

    Farks to eat with.

  2. Algernon | 4:03 am |

    So what is the nife called.

  3. Running Comment | 4:48 am |

    I thought the Chinese used chap sticks.

  4. Big Fat Cat | 4:49 am |

    I didn’t know rectangular dishes are called Napkin.

  5. Droll not Troll | 5:27 am |

    You wanna fark on the table?

  6. Running Comment | 5:34 am |

    @DnT, 5.27 am:
    Only if you lay the table !

  7. Droll not Troll | 5:37 am |

    Where is the soap bawl?

  8. Pete | 5:39 am |

    “Manners for Dummies, the Socially Inept, and just plain Farkin Iceholes”.

  9. Droll not Troll | 6:02 am |

    @Running Comment 5:34 am: OK. I’ll remember to use a condiment.

  10. Droll not Troll | 6:05 am |

    @Running Comment | 4:48 am: Some chaps do, some don’t..

  11. DrLex | 6:28 am |

    If you are not allowed to smork, then at the least you can still fark.

  12. Chris | 7:06 am |

    No spoons. Spooning leads to forking.

  13. Droll not Troll | 6:02 pm |

    @Pete: All those groups are somewhat Moron-ie.

  14. Marum | 6:21 pm |

    As the Knife said to the Spoon. “Let’s get the fork outta here.”

  15. Droll not Troll | 12:22 am |

    Salad fark? Well, now I doubt the legitimacy of mayonnaise!

  16. Marum | 2:06 am |

    Let us introduce our back-room staff;

    The Bakers name is Keith,
    He crimps the Cornish Pasties wif his teef’,
    But it’s the way he puts the holes in donuts,%#127879; 🎵
    That simply is beyond belief. 😳

  17. Marum | 2:08 am |

    EDIT: 🎇 🎵

  18. Marum | 5:12 am |

    The Pastry Chef’ name is Vince,
    He stuffed his bum with spicy mince,
    And his elan in filling the savoury flan,
    Would clearly make you wince.

  19. Marum | 5:25 am |

    The La Escuelerie’s name was Nora,
    To the disbelief of all who saw ‘er,
    She used her muff to polish the stuff,
    And it all shone like never before ‘er.

  20. Marum | 5:29 am |

    EDIT wrong tense:

    The La Escuelerie’s name is Nora,
    To the disbelief of all who saw ‘er,
    She used her muff to polish the stuff,
    And it all shone like never before ‘er.

  21. Droll not Troll | 9:23 pm |

    And on this day, not a single… well, actually 2 of them were given.

  22. Marum | 2:22 am |

    Ask and ye shall be given; Probably a slap on the face, but she will remember you.
    Ask again when the time is right, and you will be given the opportunity.
    But act quickly, for the time window is narrow, the lady is probably curious as to why you asked her so.
    Thus, you don’t have much time to win her over.

  23. Pete | 2:30 pm |

    @DnT 6:02 pm,

    As in electrons, protons, neutrons, and morons?

  24. Marum | 4:26 pm |

    I daresay, I would be curious as to what pearls of grammatical misconstruction, the right hand side of the place-mat holds for us.

  25. Marum | 4:28 pm |

    Ie. Such as soap-spown; dessert-spawn, and so on.

  26. Droll not Troll | 5:23 pm |

    @Pete 2:30 pm : Dunno about that. I was referring to Roman Moronie, the (fictional) originator of the whole “Fargin icehole” thing.

  27. Droll not Troll | 6:28 pm |

    @Marum | 4:26 pm: On the right? That’s where most of the knaves are found.

  28. Marum | 11:02 pm |

    The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,
    All on a summers day.
    The Knave of Hearts, he ate those tarts,
    They buried him next day.

  29. Peter Chan | 12:46 pm |

    Knife and fark.
    Perfect match for cutting park chap.

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