Submitted
12/30/99
MINNA MURTO WRITES:
My
personal favourite was a sweater that I saw somebody wearing
while walking the streets of Jimbocho,
Tokyo. It said in stylish, big letters:
"That‚s
fucking good, Pink Boy!"
Submitted
12/19/99
EMI UECHI WRITES:
I once bought a T-shirt that says "Baby Doll, 100% juicy" and
wore it before I read it.
Needless to say, I got a lot of attention from the American
military community here in Okinawa...
Submitted
12/16/99
JEREMY MALTBY WRITES:
In
Tokyo I saw a small restaurant with a sign saying "We serve
people like you as good food!"
I
thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. until I saw
the store next to it.
"Super
Super Super" That was the name!
Submitted
12/6/99
ERIN FLETCHER WRITES:
Here
are a couple:
On
a notebook: "I wonder where to go, whom to meet. What a splendid
future I have!"
Then it says, "Progress hard so that you'll get what you've
been wanted."
Also,
on a panoramic photo album that someone gave me, it reads, "Let's
take sometimes memories of leave a photograph."
Submitted
11/30/99
NATHAN MONTGOMERY WRITES:
While
in Japan I saw a box of tampons with the slogan,"be half as
fresh as the day is long!"
I had a couple of boxes but have given them away as gag gifts.
which were well recieved I might add.
Also
a T-shirt on a young boy of about 5 years: "My other car
is an automobile!"
Submitted
11/30/99
CHRIS BARTON WRITES:
From Kasugai Brand Fruit Gummy packages:
"The
gorgeous taste of fully ripened pineapple, imposing as a southern
island king
crowned in glory, is yours to enjoy in every soft and juice
Kasugai Pineapple Gummy."
"Its
translucent color so alluring and taste and aroma so gentle
and mellow offer
admiring feelings of a graceful lady. Enjoy soft and juicy
Kasugai Muscat Gummy."
From Ribon Co. Hokkaido Milk Candies:
"At
last! A not too sticky calcium enriched soft-candy that's
both healthy and tasty!"
Submitted
11/18/99
ALEXANDER COOK WRITES:
I am pretty into Japanese Hardcore and Grindcore and what have
you, so I know of some more
excellent band names, such as Congenital Haemmhoroids, Defiance
of Shit Bastards, the Infinite
Radical Freaks and the (my favorite) Colored Ricemen.
And
in addition, I was kind of shocked to see that you hadn't included
the oddly named, yet
very common "Delicia" urinal that is found in many upscale public
bathrooms.
Submitted
11/17/99
RIK MYSLEWSKI WRITES:
Nightclub
near Kabukicho in Tokyo: "Best Virgin with Sunset Paradigm"
Well-dressed,
elegant woman strolling through the Chiba convention center;
chocolate-brown,
wide-wale corduroy baseball cap with gold-embroidered lettering:
"Stop Sucking Corporate Cock."
Submitted
11/10/99
BOOSKA WRITES:
One
of my favorites from Japan comes from a sign that appeared in
the back seat of a Shibuya taxi that read
"Please fasten seatbelt to prepare for crash."
The
very stylish lettering on the back of a sports jacket I saw
in Sagamiono read
"Impregnation. You and me together."
A
job ad in the Japan Times attempting to state that both male
and female applicants would be welcome read
"No limit on sex."
There's
a line of children's clothes called "Lusty Baby"
Submitted
11/10/99
GARRET LONG WRITES:
Chocolate
candy named - "clippy ball" ouch
A
t-shirt sported by a young girl - black shirt with white writing
centered at the chest level -
"Frisky Pussy"
A
t-shirt with a mouse carrying a gun sporting the slogan "I'm
on a pussy hunt"
Submitted
11/8/99
GREG VERMETTE WRITES:
The
Website for the Narita Airport in Tokyo has a website featuring
thumbnails of photos of airplanes that
features the caption...
"When
a lower photograph is click, you can have a good time in a
magnification photograph."
and
the legal disclaimer....
"Though
you can have a good time as the enjoyment business whose nonprofit
is personal, it can not be utilized on an aim of a profit
except for it."
The
site is found at...
http://www.narita-airport.or.jp/airport_e/photo_e/index.html
Submitted
11/4/99
NICK RAPATTONI WRITES:
On
a cigarette machine in our hotel lobby:
"Its
a very selective time in your lifestyle. We want you to choose
the tobacco of your choice.
We want you to have a good time."
There
was a Japanese man selling t-shirts in Osaka. The phrase on
the shirts was:
"Don't
worry my honey. I'll be home from the Greyhound soon. BELIEVE
ME!"
Submitted
11/2/99
KAREN SANDNESS WRITES:
Three
of my favorite examples from the late 1970s in Tokyo:
"Let's
sports violent all the day long"--a T-shirt slogan
"The
rabbits were very excited. Their baby was born six weeks later."--seen
on a shopping bag
"Jitterbag
mama"--on the back of a leather jacket In 1985
When I was in China in the summer of 1990, every other person
seemed to be wearing a T-shirt that said,
"And they brought him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh."
Now this is a straight quote from
the Bible, but I thought it was an odd thing to find in China.
Submitted
10/29/99
GORDON WILSON WRITES:
The
Japanese pronunciation of the word 'city' often creates some
funny images, Shitty house, shitty car, etc.
But my all time favorite was for a new brand of nylons that
appeared and disappeared several years ago.
The commercial showed a beautiful young woman walking briskly
through town. The camera panned around
her body stopping at her hind quarters and the annoucer proclaimed,
"Shitty Pants!!"
Also
near where I live is a shop called Beaver Reform Showroom.
Submitted
10/28/99
JIM BREEN WRITES:
I've
heard that a middle-aged woman was seen at Ochanomizu station
wearing a T-shirt emblazoned
"Fuck me quick - the aliens are coming!", but it may well be
apocryphal.
(NOTE
FROM WEBMASTER: Can anyone verify a sighting of this shirt?)
Submitted
10/26/99
CHARLES WRITES:
I
was staying at a hotel in Mitaka that had complimentary razors.
On the boxes were the words:
"It's
the best feeling I've ever known. It's undeniably real, leave
a tender moment alone."
(NOTE
FROM WEBMASTER: countless people have written in to tell me
that this is from a Billy Joel songcalled "Leave a Tender
Moment Alone")
Submitted
10/24/99
ALEX LEHMAN WRITES:
These
are taken from (my memory of) a warning label on the package
of some Dragon Ball Z models:
"Beware
of being eaten by small children due to small parts."
"Clothing made from special secret formula."
Submitted
10/20/99
STEPHANIE HASKELL WRITES:
Postcard
No 1: "As I wash hair, a feeling improves very much.
Let's watch for it, as a bubble doesn't enter an eye, however."
Postcard
No 2: "When a good idea doesn't think of it, even though I think
there is it.
Let's try to convert a mood for such a case."
Postcard
No 3. (my favourite) "Very angry day. Very much sad day. Very
tedious day.
Let's try to fly slippers with a foot. A feeling is good. Are
after as flying it, but let's take notice it."
Submitted
10/17/99
MICHAEL CARRIGAN WRITES:
As
a boy, my mother purchased a splendid kitchen gadget produced
in Japan of sterling plastic. The packaging
guaranteed the purchaser that the gadget "makes you very good
excellent cook" and, reassuringly, we learnt
that the device was "fine for hand cooking". The gadget itself
was a rectangular container, whose lid contained
assorted graters and blades of innumerable use. "Great carots
with greater" - "Greater than what?" we wondered.
"Peeing? Container contains!" - I guess they meant that the
container caught scraps whilst "peeLing" vegetables,
but don't guarantee it. "Slashing? Use your built in chopper
for good action." - No comment.
The
gadget hung around the kitchen for years and was invaluable
for parties; not for catering you understand,
but for a good laugh if the conversation dried. Although it
finally met its end during a house move, we still gather
for family Christmases and assure my Mother after Lunch that
she is a "very good excellent cook".
Submitted
10/15/99
ADAM WRITES:
I
found this in a friends bathroom in Fukuoka, and I just fell
on the floor laughing (mind you, this is the way
it was, letter for letter, on the bottle.) It is from MANDOM
hair gel for men (the one in the black bottle with
white letters). It says:
All
the world loves a lover
All the world loves MANDOM
Grooming all the worlds great lovers
Man o man, thats MANDOM
Submitted
10/14/99
RUSTY LOWREY WRITES:
Years
ago, Percy Faith played a concert in Tokyo. The orchestra was
on stage. The conductor lifted his baton.
A drum roll began as the horn players lifted their instruments
in preparation. A japanese "translator" announces
over the PA system, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Pussy
Face!". The horn players were all laughing
so hard they couldn't play. The drum roll had to continue for
quite a while.
One
of my favorite japanese products is a box of tissues with pictures
of cute little kittens on every side and in
big block letters on the top it says, "TISSUES OF KITTEN". I
didn't know you could slice kittens that thin.
Submitted
10/13/99
DEREK WILSON WRITES:
Here
are several that I encountered.
1)
Store in Kobe - Cute Bitch
2)
Report pad (stationary) - If there is changing beauty, there
is constant beauty. Enjoy lasting pleasure and
satisfaction in using this report pad made of the best quality
paper. Kyokuto Note Co. LTD.
3)
Free photo album - the good care of your precious memoris. They
are a personal treasure.
4)
Another album - We are thinking that "how to management" is
more important than "what for sell".
we want to realize that is "It's well that!" that is our opinion
Submitted
10/11/99
JOSEPH WRITES:
My
homestay mother had a sweatshirt which she was very proud of
and one day asked me to explain to her what it
meant. The text was as follows:
National
League Stadium Public Spirits!
Try Zone -- Fight Spirits
Powerful Silent change Mind!
Adventure
The expert area contrast special project team.
New Generation Sensation Member.
As
you might imagine, I couldn't translate it into Japanese. To
this day I have no idea what it means.
Submitted
10/9/99
MIKE FERRARO WRITES:
A
friend of mine in high school came back from a family trip to
Tokyo with a T-Shirt sporting the slogan:
SUPERSTAR
ROCKSTAR KUNG-FU ALLSTAR!
Which
is a lot of responsibility for one person when you think about
it...
Submitted
10/5/99
GERALD WRITES:
Just
after university, I had a great pal from Hong Kong. We used
to love his T-shirts. One claimed to be
from the "Urban Fop Company" and the other was emblazoned with
th e memorable message
"Trollin' for Skank". I had to calmly explain what that meant.
Submitted
10/4/99
PAUL WILSON WRITES:
I
MUST SHARE the writing found on the side(s) of a box containing
a children's play microphone
called "ECHO MIKE:"
"Mom
ma! Pap Pap! I and Lady Employees to play with it together!"
I
am horrified, haunted, and enchanted by this phrase, and find
myself saying it often with my friends
(the Lady Employees, of course)...
Submitted
10/1/99
PAUL WILSON WRITES:
1)
I lived in Tokyo for 6 months back in 1988 and I spotted the
following t-shirt slogan on a teenage girl:
"Kosh Shogue and the Fuse: I am loving him in a bastardly sort
of way" Kosh and the Fuse were a
popular rock band at the time.
2)
At an afterwork party, one of my japanese colleagues hoisted
his sake cup and proposed the following
toast: "Let us lift our bowels to our mouths and drink!" Needless
to say, I was unable to comply for
several minutes afterwards due to bouts of uncontrollable laughter.
Submitted 9/29/99
DARREN HOLMAN WRITES:
Here are three of my favorites:
- A notebook I own has a long rambling Engrish phrase that starts out,
"Walking hand-in-hand along the basketball..."
- I own a lovely pink sweatshirt with the following in 2-inch high
lettering, "HIPPIES MADE TO KEEP ASSHOLES."
- A snack shop in Kamakura that we came across accidentally said in
big letters, "We serve people with tasty things."
Submitted 9/27/99
TRACY GREENWOOD WRITES:
Here's one from a beauty salon near
Chuo Rinkan station.
The name of the shop is:
"Beauty Brain's Fantastic Fannie"
Submitted 9/25/99
CHANTAL FILSON WRITES:
In a supermarket in England, we spotted an asian woman wearing a sweater
that sported a tag she had forgotten to remove-- it read, "100% PURE LOVER"
We were so confused. And couldn't stop laughing.
Submitted 9/24/99
ADAM SMITH WRITES:
I spent a summer in Japan two years ago. Among my fonder memories:
From a can of Blendy, an iced coffee drink:
"Casual, yet rich in substance. That's how you are, and so is Blendy."
From a can of Coffee Time, one of Blendy's competitors:
"Well-mellowed flavor and aroma make surely you will have a refreshing
drink."
From a breakfast pastry package:
"Through years of experience, Doutor Danish is produced from the finest
materials to create a happy time on tables."
From a box of ChocoBouchees, chocolate dessert cakes with vanilla icing
(similar to Ding Dongs):
"Confidence of creating deliciousness. This tastiness can not be carried
even by both hands."
From a cheap paper photo album distributed free with photo processing:
"The scene still comes to mind now and then. Cake was baking in the oven
and mother was making tea for us. We were veild in good old smell." [sic]
Finally, the office in which I was working had a set of
English instructions for the phone system that had been typed up by one of
the Japanese in the office. At one point, the instructions were meant to
include the sentence "Hook the phone," meaning (I assume) "hang up the
phone."
The author of the instructions apparently didn't know how to spell "hook",
so I suppose he tried to sound it out. There is no "hoo" sound in
Japanese. The closest is something like "foo", which generally gets
transliterated as "fu". As for the "k" sound, the author apparently
decided that in this case "ck" was more likely to be correct than just
"k".
So the end result of all this was that the instructions contained the
sentence "Fuck the phone." For the Americans in the office, it was good
for about ten minutes of barely-contained laughter.
Submitted 9/24/99
TOREN SMITH WRITES:
I got into an elevator in a old building in Osaka, and carefully lettered
above the emergency call button was the following Engrish:
"Push this button in case anything happens."
Submitted 9/24/99
SARA WRITES:
My husband and I got some funny looks our last week in Taiwan
when we wandered around taking pictures of the Engrish slogans
on the sides of people's scooters, slogans such as:
"for your spanking sensation".
Submitted 9/24/99
ROB SACK WRITES:
On a beer pitcher in Pusan, South Korea:
Draft The Clean Beer
Beer produced newly
Beer comes in the mouth,
And love comes in at the eye,
That's is all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I hit the glass to my mouth,
I look at you and I sigh.
CROWN
Sometimes a poem paints a picture all by itself.
Submitted 9/24/99
JANE DOE WRITES:
A male friend of mine was running for a student government position at school.
We were in geometry class with a thick accented professor. She had heard about
my friends failure at winning the position. So as we were leaving class, she
pulled us aside and said to him...."Brent, I sorry you lose the erection" The
confused and stunned look on his face was good enough for me. When we realized
what she meant we held our composure until the moment we stepped out the door.
Entertainment all the way!
Submitted 9/24/99
DANIELLE WOLFF WRITES:
I have a number of Japanese items with amusing English sayings:
Stationery:
"Flower Pussy" (with pictures of flowers and kittens)
"Sweet Cherry Make Everybody Happy"
"The Cherry Paradise, This is a Rare Gift from God"
A lunchbox:
Horoscope - "Pray to God for Mercy" (with pictures of the zodiac signs,
including "cancar".)
Submitted 9/24/99
YAMATO BILL WRITES:
I'll never forget the young lady in Yokohama wearing a sweatshirt with Santa
Claus pictured on the front in living color, captioned:
"Fuck the old man with the beard".
H-m-m-m.
Submitted 9/24/99
ELTON BYINGTON WRITES:
Perhaps the best job I ever had with this company was many years ago when I
"translated" Japanese technical manuals from Engrish into English. Here's an
example, from the manual for a Toho Denki (Matsushita) facsimile transmitter for
Wirephotos, which has stuck with me for almost 30 years:
"Care must be exorcised when handring Opiticar System as it is apts to be
sticked by dusts and hand-fat."
Translation: "Keep your fingers off the lens."
These technical manuals were for highly specialized and sophisticated
electromechanical equipment, and the Japanese-to-Engrish translators had
obviously struggled mightily to convey their meaning. Unfortunately, their
descriptions were more often risible than clear. When faced with a particularly
egregious block of impenetrable text, my only recourse was to take the equipment
apart and analyze its operation, then write the manual from scratch.
Manuals for consumer electronics have improved greatly since the days when Sony
warned: "Do not attempt to open cassette case as it is exquisitely fixed," in
the manual for an early portable cassette recorder. It's good to know the
Japanese' penchant for addleheaded Engrish expressions hasn't disappeared!
Submitted 9/23/99
LENISE CAMACHO WRITES:
A while ago, someone told me about a Japanese-made iron (I can't really
remember the brand) that had in the instructions, "Not to be used for the
other use." See, now if they hadn't MENTIONED it, I wouldn't have tried to
use it for the other use in the first place.
Also, when I visited Kagoshima this summer, I saw a boy (probably around 12
or so) wearing a shirt depicting a male and female having anal sex with the
caption "No Fucking." At least we know he's making good use of the "No Means
No!" approach.
Submitted 9/23/99
LAUREN VALBERT WRITES:
I have a couple more to add:
1) We had just finished climbing Mount Fuji, and we went into the gift shop,
where I purchased a key chain that said "I am having a woody life"
2) I saw a poor child in Narita airport with a picture of Snoopy on his
shirt. However, the shirt said the character's name was "Snurrie", probably
to avoid copyright issues. Sad that that little kid thinks that his beagle
friend is named Snurrie!
Submitted 9/23/99
JOHN HAMMILL WRITES:
I was in Bangkok, Thailand one day when I saw a beautiful young
woman wearing a T-shirt that read "I trusted the government, now
my dick glows in the dark"
I asked her if she read or spoke English, she said no.
I didn't have the heart to tell her what she was wearing.
Submitted 9/23/99
JAYBERD WRITES:
I noticed you had "three michelle gun elephant" on your site. Here are
other names of actual Japanese-noisepunk bands:
Sound Masturbation
Bathtub Shitters
Flying Testicle
and best of all
Goddamn Motherfuck Shitass Bitches
Thank God my parents forced me to take English from an American.
Submitted 9/23/99
MATT WILHELM WRITES:
I have a fantastic photo of some t-shirts. One says "No Fucking" and
features a stencil of doggie-style sex with a circle around it and a slash
through the middle. Another reads something like "Real Country Homos" from
the "Super Homos Collection" and has a drawing of a fat man with an
sailor's anchor tattoo on his arm.
Submitted 9/21/99
GRAHAM MITCHELL WRITES:
I saw this at work, and I just had to get it out. It was a little while
ago, so I don't remember if the product was Japanese... it
might've been Korean or Chinese. But anyway. It was a tiny
wastebasket-type thing called 'Keep In', and the label read 'This is
goods for those who wish to enjoy simple and rational lives.'
Y'know, I never knew a wastebasket could say so much about you..
Submitted 9/21/99
RICHARD MOORMAN WRITES:
Recently in Nanchang, China, I ate a bag of "Lonely God Potato Crisps"
featuring a wistful little cartoon angel on the front. Not bad. Some
kinds of junk food are pretty similar everywhere, it would seem. Also
tried a box of "Really Good". (Slogan: "It tastes Really Good!").
Well, it didn't.
Submitted 9/21/99
ROLF SALME WRITES:
This one I saw on a TV screen at Akihabara at the end of a TV game:
"May he rest in pieces".
Another one, an ad from a group of students who were offering babysitting
service to foreigners:
"Please call us! We will provide you with any emergency."
The meaning of a roadsign, according to a book on driving in Japan which I
once had:
"Road closed 50 meters ahead, except for bicycles, Sundays and national
holidays."
At a supermarket with two doors at Azabu Juban 25 years ago. Door No. 1:
"Entrance". Door No. 2: "Exitrance".
Outside an ice-cream parlour near Roppongi: "Please leave a pet outside". I
didn't have one to offer but was permitted to enter anyway.
Submitted 9/19/99
DICK DILLION WRITES:
You should have more J-Pop lyrics on your site! I mean, some of them are
really weird! Here's an example(from the opening theme song of
'Myuki-Chan In Wonderland'):"I'm on a date with my best friend's
boyfriend/It feels like a tight sweater"
Submitted 9/11/99
KEVIN & GOPHER NEELANDS WRITE:
I sometimes buy items just to get the hilarious box instructions.
When I was in Japan, I was frequently asked my impression of the cities I
visited. Each city was mobbed with dense hordes of people on all the
streets and sidewalks, and in each city I stated that my impression was that
the city was "crowded." Each time I said this, in three cities, the
response was, "Yes, is very "crouded." We have had a rot of rain recentry."
Submitted 8/28/99
CAMBRIA JENKINS WRITES:
Here are a couple of classics in "the 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said":
On Good Advice:
Japanese Maid Conduct Column:
"Light pranks add zest to your service, but don't pull the customer's
ears."
Huh? I think they do pull your ears in Malaysia, though...
On Good Advice, the Flip Side:
Hotel Guest Service Pamphlet:
"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."
Submitted 8/27/99
CHRISTINA CLARK WRITES:
I have a couple more for your great site.
On a middle aged woman's t-shirt (who was escorting her elderly mother) at a
temple in Nara: "Just Fuckin' Around."
On a little boy (about 8) in a train in the countryside surrounding
Hiroshima: "FUTURE F.A.G."
Submitted 6/22/99
SCOTT JOHNSON WRITES:
I once worked for a company that received a beautiful calendar from one of
the Japanese trading companies. It was printed on heavy paper with large
panels and excellent color quality. Each month featured a traditional scene
along with a message meant to inspire. January's message (under a snowy
mountain scene) was: "Have a happy new year -- or else you'll be sorry!" We
loved the implied threat of punishment if we didn't party hearty!
Submitted 5/23/99
HUANG WEIJIAN WRITES:
In a Japanese restaurant called Petit Monde (French for small world,amazingly
they got this bit right) the menu description for a prawn and rice dish went
like this: "Three cute prawns suntanning on the rice".
Now that's surreal.
Submitted 5/14/99
ROTIS WRITES:
Taken from a page-a-day calendar with funny quotes:
Hotel Rules, Japanese-Style:
"Depositing the room key into another person is prohibited."
--sign displayed in a Japanese hotel
Traffic Signs, Enigmatic Warnings Of:
"Cars will not have Intercourse on this Bridge."
--Tokyo traffic sign
Slogans, Japanese-Style:
"Now baby. Tonight I am feeling cool and hard boiled."
--slogan on a Japanese shopping bag
Road Signs, Inexplicable:
"Try Bigger and Bigger but keep More and More Slowly."
--Toyko traffic sign
And, one of my favorites:
Medical Questionnaire, Japanese-Style:
"Are you haunted by horribles?
Do you ever run after your nose?
Does your nose choke?
Does your head or face or shoulder ever limp?
Has any part of your body suddenly grown uncontrollable?"
--questions on a Japanese medical form
I also came across some other interesting quotes/phrases:
Ceremonial Toasts, Great Moments In:
Chinese host (lifting up his glass to his American guest): "Up your bottoms."
American diplomat: "Up yours too."
--Overheard at a cocktail party honoring numerous international guests in
Shenyang, China
On Communist Songs, Catchy Titles For:
"Mother, I Want to Go to the Mountainside and Harden Myself with Physical
Labor"
--Chinese Communist hit song
Submitted 4/13/99
DAIGOUJI GAI WRITES:
I'm still loving, "Guppies often eat their small children." Which was written at the
top of a piece of stationary.
Also, JPop music is an excellent source of Engrish. Take Two mix's Just
Communication... The first few lyrics, "Just wild beat communication." Has
nothing to do with the rest of the song. :)
Submitted 3/28/99
PETER SALLADE WRITES:
if you're still updating the Engrish page, I just want you to know that-
KWANSEI GAKUIN notebook is
best quality notebook
printed on best quality paper
for best quality students
Also, see if you can get a bag of Horai 551 (buta)man or gyoza. They usually have
a baiten at train stations in Kansai.
Their old slogan was "Have good eats of real taste" but I think they
changed it to something lame. The good bit though is the lengthy paragraph
that goes something like- years of researching the Chinese gastronomy led
to develop the perfect dumpling...
Submitted 3/24/99
LOVISA ERIKSON WRITES:
A few years back i stayed in tokyo for a year and of course i took a lot of pictures....
when developing these pictures i used to get a free photo album. on the cover, one of them
has the following text:
Green Space
Hellow my friend.
I'm hearing the message from the sout wind.
The have a lot of rememberance.
next, on the front of an ice cream vending machine:
ICE CREAM
"GOOD TASTE, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS"
WITH THE ANGEL, THE "MESSANGER OF HAPPINESS", AS OUR SYMBOL.
WE HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO A RICHER LIFE.
why do we need prozac? we have ice cream with health and happiness, not to
mension the good taste....
here's another encounter with a vending machine:
HALFTIME
A delicious drink born from a blend of know-how
acquired over many years and advaced production technology,
..... a drink you are sure to enjoy.
finally, close to my hostfamily's house there was a sign on a door:
EVER FRESH BRAIN
COMPANY LIMITED
need i comment?
Submitted 3/20/99
BEN CRAFT WRITES:
must put in my 2 yen-
coffee shop in Nagasaki city: "Placebo Labor Handbag"
and just down the street, another aptly-named coffee shop: "Manual Birth Pet"
seen on the t-shirt of a chappatsu young stud: "Airborne Rocker"
our favorite jazz bar in the Nagasaki inaka: "Gaudi: Jazz Coff & Bar"
it was actually quite close to the "Miyagi Music & Fashion Hotel Part II"
(never saw part I; maybe it was a prequel)
strangely, the wastebaskets at my kyoikuiinkai office were a great source of
Japlish; one read "Kiss Ass"; another, "Pickle Cat"
finally, on the domestic front, my loneliness as a single gaijin in japan was
alleviated by the companionship of my little refrigerator, called "Nice Partner
for You".
Submitted 3/13/99
DAVID BOWMAN WRITES:
One of my favorites that I brought back with me from Himeji was on a label in a
pair of shorts:
"Be a big man on campus, MAKE A STINK!"
Submitted 3/2/99
MARJORIE WRITES:
I lived in Japan for four years and saw some other classics:
Chocolate bandaids called "Queer Aids" -- no lie
"Darkie" toothpaste with a picture of a Sambo-look alike on the box.
Submitted 2/25/99
KELLY JEAN SIRLES WRITES:
Here's a favourite:
T-shirt in Daiei Mall reads "Have a naked summer!"
I don't know about you, but I'd burn if I had a naked summer...
Submitted 2/23/99
JULIANNE SHANNON WRITES:
LOVE the page!! Reminds me of a few things i saw in japan in the late
70s/early 80s.
painted on a loading dock at the navy exchange in yokosuka
"No Parking, Roading Zone." I ran home to get my camera, but when i
returned they had already fixed it!
There used to be a ladies' clothing store in kamakura which had the
following sign in their window "Ladies Have Fits Upstairs"
Submitted 2/11/99
LORI ANDERSON WRITES:
While living in Tokyo a couple of years ago I saw this tee-shirt on two
different occassions. I didn't have a camera...
"too drunk to fuck"
I don't think that would go over too well in the good ole USA
(Also...) Around the corner from my ryokan was a small restaurant called "Coffee and
Launch". They were only open for dinner.
(NOTE FROM WEBMASTER: I am aware that the phrase "too drunk to fuck" is from an old
Dead Kennedy's song thanks to a number of you who wrote in to tell me. Still, it must
be quite a sight to see on T-shirts being worn by regular kids walking down the street
who have no idea what it means.)
Submitted 1/24/99
DAVID DUCCINI WRITES
I spent two years in Tokyo a few years back. I
collected "Japlish" as well.
Some of my favorites were Restaurants, like the Jack & Betty Restaurant
"We Love Food Since 1967"
Makes me wonder how they felt about food before then? Were they just
impartial????
Submitted 1/13/99
HARINGEST WRITES
Some favorites of mine from several visits to Tokyo
BLOW CLUB (bar)
MEMBERSH (clothing store)
MOUTH PET (mouthwash)
PIMPEX (acne medication)
DOCK MAN (eau de cologne)
"I hate myself and I want to die" (front of T-shirt);
FOOTBALL SALAMI (football-shaped beef jerky)
JAP (clothing store not unlike The Gap)
SPIC SALON (hairdresser)
PAPPY MONROE (logo for taco shop in Shibuya---it's a cat in a sombrero)
Submitted 1/1/99
JOANNE MILLS WRITES
Here are two of my favorites, gleaned from a trip there several years ago -
A decal from a national forest on the back of a car exclaiming on the delights
of "forest basking", and a lingerie company called "Hip Supporty".
Love your stuff.
