Toilet Rules?

Toilet Rules?

posted on 14 Nov 2007 in Chinglish

 

Photo courtesy of John and Jemi Holmes.

Found at public toilet in Sichuan Province, China.

(Enhanced contrast of photo for readability.)

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katie
Guest
katie

Damn it! I thought i could get away with boiling my food in there!

garudamon11
Guest
garudamon11

“Because of monkeys” …..

Ghighman
Guest
Ghighman

damn i need to place some excrements…;)

snopes
Guest
snopes

And just what part of this don’t you not to understand?

bridget
Guest

At least THIS one doesn’t have cameras!!!!

Iam Jhonsoon
Guest
Iam Jhonsoon

1. Each toilet cubicle has a limited occupancy of 1 person only. (Don’t try to save space by sharing a toilet with your friend at the same time.) 2. Only release your excrement into the toilet bowl. If you release it anywhere else, the dissatisfied foot of the management will kick you. 3. You must take good care of the toilet facilities. It is strictly forbidden to remove the toilet from the cubicle and take it out of the toilet room. 4. Place your excrement in the excrement bucket provided. If you release it into the toilet bowl, it could… Read more »

Iam Jhonsoon
Guest
Iam Jhonsoon

I had a second thought. I think the whole thing means “Foreign men with beards must not hang around in these toilets violating young Chinese men”, or something along these lines.

Nat
Guest
Nat

uh. . . maybe we should wait until we get back to the hotel

piscesix
Guest
piscesix

only thing i understand is toilet.lol

Max
Guest
Max

Uh yeah..cuz it’s so often you see/smell people boiling toilet water to make their food.

Bob
Guest
Bob

My guess on 8 is “If you really need to use the toilet, then do it; don’t just hang around in here bothering people.” And I think 10 is more like “Please study these rules and make an effort to follow them.”

Lyn
Guest
Lyn

With all these rules I think I’ll just hold it in….

drumming_panda
Guest
drumming_panda

Are you clamoring around in the toilet again?!?!

Spence
Guest
Spence

Van Gogh started his painting career when his foot was trying to re-satisfy itself, but, in the confusion, he accidentally broke the wall. As punishment, he was forced to make a disorderly painting, and that’s what got him into abstract art.

bobdog
Guest

a movable toilet? wherein U can boil foods ! oh yeah`, u can’t really remove the bowels from the pond~ 🙂 fishes ate them all!

munrok
Guest
munrok

By the time it took to read sign, I crapped oneself

don
Guest
don

i cant imagine someone taking a crap while yelling so loudly that other people get frightened ^_^

Lala
Guest
Lala

i dont want go to china anymore!!!

TP
Guest
TP

Al Gore’s next crusade: Saving the toilenviromnent from disorderly painting.

TP
Guest
TP

Doctor, the problem seems to be that I just Can not move bowels in the urine pond….can you help me?

kevin
Guest
kevin

Maybe the Chinese are just trying to mess with us!!! creative, I is.

Vyachislav
Guest

I knew a guy who know hard in toilet. He was gross.

DrLex
Guest

How am I supposed to place excrement in intestablishment if I’m not allowed to move my bowels?

Kurt Hudson
Guest
Kurt Hudson

Respect the beard

JD
Guest
JD

Where is the next closest loo ….. without a beard ….

pauloo
Guest
pauloo

Boy, they sure do take many precautions against the occasional toilet boil, common among poor folk unable to access a soup kitchen or stove top to cook their meals.

Clair
Guest
Clair

make a food that is take isedible? YUMMY!

mike
Guest
mike

Best Engrish ever! Completely and utterly baffling to the point of being surreal.

Doff
Guest
Doff

I will take these 11 rules to heart. I have no idea what the heck they are, but still. Looks like a lot of work went into them.

MC
Guest
MC

The 11 Commandments:
1. Thou shalt have no others in toilet with thee
2.Thou shalt wash feet in toilet after relieving waste
3.Thou shalt not steal toilet
4. Thou shalt not allow waste to leak out of toilet
5. Thou shalt not scare others with loud noises
6. Thou shalt not interfere with people relieving waste
7. Thou shalt not prepare food in toilet
8. Thou shalt not enter toilet with the sole purpose of bothering others.
9. Thou shalt not paint on thy separating planks
10.Thou shalt not release solid waste into urinals
11. Observe these rules and keep them holy

racist park
Guest
racist park

My beard (even though I don’t have one) knows that this thing’s wrong.

Skippy
Guest
Skippy

Toilet Beard, wasn’t he on “Lord Of The Rings, The Two Toilets”?

Chickentacos
Guest
Chickentacos

“Damn, it won’t come out, hey Bill, get the jaws of life!”

Chickentacos
Guest
Chickentacos

Think I got some crap in my beard…

elrem
Guest
elrem

i pee’d on my pants halfway through this while using my laptop at starbucks — god am i not glad im in toronto and not in china!

Kate Shepherd
Guest
Kate Shepherd

Oh no
g2g, the coppahs pursuin’ cuz I
moved my bowels in the urine the pond

Curt Allred
Guest
Curt Allred

Okay – some of these Engrish signs are somewhat legible, perhaps at best including parts where it’s completely nonsense. But this sign wins the prize for being 100% nonsense. Someone did (it seems) figure out what message each of these items is meant to convey, but this sign just totally stands out for its absolute abandon of reason, logic and grammar. Bravo!

Mari-Ma
Guest
Mari-Ma

If you disobey, Toilet Beard will make you walk the plank…

DragonLady
Guest
DragonLady

New Britflick: CARRY ON TOILET

Bill Braskey
Guest

…but I can’t POOP unless I clamor loudly in the toilet!

Zaphod
Guest
Zaphod

…and no bloody singing!!!

pyraetos
Guest

The last rule is to please read this beard…. Also, be sure to protect the toilenvironment!

pete
Guest
pete

I have a beard myself, but I’ve never thought I can read it… xxD

The author explains it in steps
Guest

Step 1: Read beard, know hard toilenvironment laws
Step 2: Consult toiletlawyer
Step 3: Sign a person only limited toilecontract
Step 4: Remove bother and dissatisfied foot and place them near entrance
Step 5: Paciently wait previous relievers to finish, re-read beard
Step 6: Go into the toilet into the toilet
Step 7: Release easy to not frighten next relievers
Step 8: Place wise according to teachings
Step 9: Shoot yourself a pic, place it on wall of confusion
Step 10: Thank the beard thank the beard

cvlkjzxhjkjhzx
Guest
cvlkjzxhjkjhzx

Ran this through google translate, English to Chinese, then back again, three times… got even more messed up. Know to the toilet beard The service of the bathroom there is a limit 2 toilets, the only requirement in the outside toilet, can not meet the foot to the toilet bowel To to the toilet, toilet facilities, strictly lying on the prohibition of mobile toilets tools, it uses 4, into the toilet beard on intestablishment feces tools, can not diffuse into the drain 5, the toilet to be afraid of the toilet loudly into the toilet to prevent other noise. 6,… Read more »

bret vale
Guest
bret vale

i clamour loudly in to cause a person entering the toilet frighten or watever

TheInterlang
Guest
TheInterlang

Who calls a list of instructions a “beard”

carry on
Guest
carry on

GO INTO
TOILET
and
CARRY
ON

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

Shortly:

Go into the toilet. This toilet.

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