Just the essentials…

Just the essentials…

posted on 12 Jan 2009 in Chinglish

 

Photo courtesy of Kevin Dauphinee.
Sign found in Beijing, China.  

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Sparkly Boof
Guest
Sparkly Boof

Ten percent off for all card-carrying pimps, ho’s and tranny’s!

GuitART
Guest
GuitART

For the idiot handyman.

Yogesh Damle
Guest

“Excuse me, which isle has marijuana? I went around the LSD stacks and ended up here!”

Almost April
Guest
Almost April

Sales EVERY DAY of the week! Something for EVERYONE!
Check out our:
Manic Monday’s
Tremor Tuesday’s
Wacked-Out Wednesday’s
Tourniquet Thursday’s
Fry-Days
Syringe Saturday’s
Staph Infection Sunday’s
Plus, every 3rd Sunday is NEEDLE MANIA! All used needle’s half-off!

Holly Would
Guest
Holly Would

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times…finding good drugs is like finding a needle in a hardware sto..HEY!

dangevin
Guest

My shopping list: Three-penny nails and $6 bottles of Evian.

dangevin
Guest

…but the “Software and Smack Megastore” just seems to have better quality stuff.

kapow
Guest
kapow

Maybe I’ll consider DIY chores from now on. Sounds fun!

kapow
Guest
kapow

So that explains why the handyman is missing a couple of fingers

galliard
Guest
galliard

For all your “screw” and “blow” needs…

beechoak
Guest
beechoak

who’s up for getting hammered, nailed and screwed?

BeadyEl
Guest
BeadyEl

Gimme a dime bag, and a roll of duct-tape…

Grifter Wolf
Guest
Grifter Wolf

Convenience with… a little too much of a smile…

Brandon
Guest
Brandon

I’m more concerned about that comma. This looks like someone was starting to write a letter but then got distracted.

kringo
Guest
kringo

Hit the nail. Hit the bong. Hit the nail. Hit the bong. Hit the nail. Hit the bong.

Someone205
Guest
Someone205

They better not come with the “fallen of a truck” story here

Ben
Guest
Ben

The new shop vac works great, but now I’m hungry for some reason.

Dude
Guest
Dude

First we get hammered, then we nail each other.

Duck
Guest
Duck

Bongs … aisle twelve, right next to the ‘Huffer Delite’ brand spray paint!

zanzabar
Guest
zanzabar

“Come for the wrench, stay for the crack”

FSX
Guest

Yo, homes, it’s one them dope supamarkets, fo shizzle!

TC
Guest
TC

What better place to buy guns and drugs?

TJ
Guest
TJ

Whoa, dude! Check it out! This hammer suddenly has a face! Wow! Now the whole store seems to be speaking to me!

Jamie Brannon
Guest
Jamie Brannon

This explains sooooooooooooooo much

Josh
Guest
Josh

Now, which one of these electrical conuits works the best as a bong?

Chainsawman
Guest
Chainsawman

You can build it, or fix it or smoke it or snort it. We can help.

Dayster
Guest
Dayster

DIY for dummies.

ida
Guest
ida

Talk about making a hash of the D.I.Y!

Stephan
Guest

Highstation 3. Splifftendo. Weeeeeeeeeeeee.

Kimgiggly79
Guest
Kimgiggly79

overdose on aisle 6….

SOKKA
Guest
SOKKA

Next spot, map quest

Water imp
Guest
Water imp

Pop Rocks just got a whole new meaning…

jeffy
Guest
jeffy

Does Tommy Chong know about this yet?

Wile E. Coyote Super Genius
Guest

For the stoner do-it-yourselfer …

Alice in Wonderland
Guest
Alice in Wonderland

They’re trying to be hip! No one wants to go to the lame-o market.

A person
Guest
A person

What? Isn’t pot a type of hardware?

Anyway, I was looking for opium birdseed. Where are the 10-pound bags? I need to give the birds one pound.

Ghost08
Guest
Ghost08

wasnt aware we had a super market for that but hoo–rah just the same

Lynn
Guest
Lynn

I still prefer Home DePOT.

Lynn
Guest
Lynn

For those that like to get geeked up and build!

Livevil
Guest
Livevil

oh man, I was looking for the software and cocaine supermarket.

Corwyn
Guest
Corwyn

Looks like they ran out of both after the last comma there…

Corwyn
Guest
Corwyn

“This old House” with Beavis and Butthead!

feeled
Guest
feeled

I could nail me some joint compound here, man.

Dangeriz
Guest
Dangeriz

Dude… where’s my car?

Kara
Guest
Kara

Hammer… 1.75
Dope…. 34.50

donjuan71
Guest
donjuan71

Listen, I need some duct tape, wood screws, and a big fatty. Can you help me?

andy
Guest
andy

build your own bong

Polyshot
Guest
Polyshot

Is that for GTA:Shanghai or Beijing?? LOL

susanne
Guest
susanne

So! ACE Hardware has been lying to me all the time!

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

– A chainsaw and a coke, please.

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