I see dead people…

I see dead people…

posted on 29 Sep 2009 in Chinglish

You can’t take it with you… no wait, you can!

Photo courtesy of Jerry Haddox.
Found in Beijing, China.

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SF
SF
12 years ago

HAMLET

Where wilt thou lead me? speak; I’ll go no further.

Ghost
But who are you? Wait a moment, I look for my glasses. Here they are.
Son!
Mark me.

Pete
Pete
12 years ago

(singing)

“Heaven, I’m in heaven, my heart stopped beating and I can hardly see, I just can’t seem to find the spectacles I seek, when we’re in the void together cheek to cheek.”

Ani
Ani
12 years ago

If I’m reading the characters correctly, the “post-mortem” part really ought to say “Blue Garden” Optics and Glasses Distribution Center”

Maybe there’s a buddhist or taoist version of the after-life represented by a blue green garden or something?

rowger
rowger
12 years ago

They are collecting dead-men’s eyeware and then sell it to the living, only to collect them again when the new owners die. It’s an evil scheme to put the glasses manufacturers out of business.

beechoak
beechoak
12 years ago

So the things that go bump in the night are actually ghosts running into walls because they can’t see to pass through them…?

kringo
kringo
12 years ago

I see dead people – well, now I do.

Algernon
Algernon
12 years ago

I’ve heard of the blind being able to see but now we have the dead being able to look back to the living.

Blaze
Blaze
12 years ago

These glasses are worthless. The doctor closed my eyes forever as I drifted off. Friggin Rigor Mortis!

coffeebot
12 years ago

Grandpa looks so peaceful *sniff* with his new reading glasses…

Grifter
Grifter
12 years ago

Guess we won’t be robbing the dead blind after all!

beechoak
beechoak
12 years ago

By the creators of the X-Ray Specs!

Didone
Didone
12 years ago

What not UV filtering? You want me to get cancer again?

Pete
Pete
12 years ago

A case of the dead leading the blind.

Ralph Hamilton
Ralph Hamilton
12 years ago

To enable you to see out of the portholes in your coffin.

Alan
Alan
12 years ago

The first two characters in the Chinese name of the place are 蓝图 (=藍圖, 藍図), which is literally “blueprint” in English. How on Earth did someone manage to come up with Post-Mortem?

Ralph Hamilton
Ralph Hamilton
12 years ago

I wouldn’t be seen dead in this palce.

jjhitt
jjhitt
12 years ago

Why put pennies on your eyes when you can have designer frames that match your face and discoloration?

Xila
Xila
12 years ago

You don’t want the afterlife to be blurry, do you?

Jetsuzu
Jetsuzu
12 years ago

Strictly specializing in botched laser surgery

Big Fat Cat
Big Fat Cat
12 years ago

Oh mine, I find Sarah Palin’s eyeglasses there.

kringo
kringo
12 years ago

The only sure things in life are death, taxes, and great deals on eyewear!

Classic Steve
12 years ago

If you really want the spirits of your dead relatives watching over you…

Dude
Dude
12 years ago

Post-Mortem Optical Glasses:

The maker doesn’t want ’em,
The buyer doesn’t use ’em
And the user is unaware of ’em.

kringo
kringo
12 years ago

For people who are dying to have better vision.

kringo
kringo
12 years ago

He’s dead, and now has 20/20 vision, Jim.

Pete
Pete
12 years ago

Dude, those are some KILLER specs!

Ani
Ani
12 years ago

“Some remedies are worse than the disease.”
-Publilius Syrus

Cecily
Cecily
12 years ago

I died when I saw the optician’s bill!

theillen
theillen
12 years ago

They say you gain clarity when you die. But only if you’ve had your eyes examined in the last 12 months.

Ani
Ani
12 years ago

Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz
He dies and then de-COM-pose-es
Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz
But he had some real rad EYE-glasses…

bigcaddy
bigcaddy
12 years ago

now that CAsper got his glasses, he floats throught doors instead of walls

Lollerskate
Lollerskate
12 years ago

The Undead aren’t known for their eyesight…

dangevin
12 years ago

“Okay, read line number four.”
“B-R-A-I-N-S”
“Hm, I think you’re going to need a stronger perscrip…NO…AAAUGH!”

dangevin
12 years ago

See our new Zombie-Chic line of “thrilling” corrective shades.

dangevin
12 years ago

Hello? Vell yes, I lost my monocle and need a new vun by sunrise!

anonymous
anonymous
12 years ago

Well, The Chinese written could be tranlated into just three English words: “Blueprint Optometry Centre”….

Ani
Ani
12 years ago

Help Wanted: Cadavers for use as mannequins to display our full range of eyewear.

xvl260
xvl260
12 years ago

The Chinese name is 蓝图which means Blueprint. I wonder how they got post mortem. lol.

Yugan
12 years ago

ani: it says blue print, tu, not garden. Post Mortem, probably what they had in mind was Post Modern.. same difference….

whirlabou
whirlabou
12 years ago

Scented Gardens for the Blind – a fantastic album by New Zeeland based band Dragon.

Ani
Ani
12 years ago

Yugan:

Obviously my hanzi are a little rusty. Never learned “lan tu” for “blueprint” but makes sense.

Hen ganxie.

anonymous
anonymous
12 years ago

ani: In fact, the Chinese lan tu (traditional: 藍圖; simplifed: 蓝图) is in fact just a word-by-word direct translation of blueprint, and means the same thing.

Kitsune
Kitsune
12 years ago

Our new bifocals allow you to see both living and dead people

Chuck
Chuck
12 years ago

The Beatles said to beware the tax-man. They said “He’d take the pennies from my eyes.”

But the mortician got there first and took my $950 Gucci’s !!

(Here’s the irony: I bought ’em with a tax refund !)

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fv fxnbfcbh cxfhn fxbhnjm gfvbhnm gfvbdgtjm ngfvtdhn
12 years ago

bit late now, isn’t it?

Indigo
Indigo
12 years ago

Your dead relatives DO watch you. …and now they can see you even better.

PomPomtastic
PomPomtastic
12 years ago

…And so I thought “I hate people but I love Optometry. Post-Mortem Optometry!”

yoyo
yoyo
12 years ago

Check out our diefocals.

kittaay
kittaay
11 years ago

WAIT. THOSE AREN’T MY GLASSES.

joybee88
joybee88
11 years ago

Even if it’s ‘Post-Modern…’ it’d still baffle me
Would you see the world as if u were in a Picasso painting after u put them on or what…

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