Prevent moth mouth!

Use moth balls for fragrant closets.

Icy mint? Kid’s stuff. Clear plaque with Jalapeno heat!

Your first line of defense against Hannibal Lecter.

I wonder why Mr Suit-and-tie chose not to flash his pearlies for the glamor shot…

So hot it’ll clear your mouth of any tooth problems. Or teeth.
Kills moths, too!

(Dentures sold separately.)

You laugh, but it really works! I don’t have any moths in my mouth!

It’s almost as good as this rock that keeps tigers away.

Fine print: Not suitable for people with foul mouth.

Instructions for use: After brushing teeth with toothpaste, spit on garments and hang dry. Repeat if moth problem persists.

Whitens and heats, prevents Mothman attacks, and strengthens your bridge.”

Endorsed by Richard Gere, John A. Keel, and the residents of Point Pleasant, West Virginia.

Official toothpaste of the Annual Mothman Festival, Point Pleasant, West Virginia!

Got Moths? Don’t stand for that crap! Breathe intense, searing fire on them! Godzilla approved!

The burn really bleaches the color out, and that really bugs me!

Box contains one mouth torche, and a tube of aloe vera gel.

Even if it would read “ANTI MOUTH” it still would have been wrong.

Be doubly safe. Use Moth Wash afterwards.

Promotes a clean, bright smile while bicycling!

Warning: Do not apply directly to teeth or skin.

Whitening Clearing Heat vs. Mothra!

Also effective against the dreaded “caterpillar mouth.”

A clean moth is a happy moth.

China’s secret weapon in case Mothra decides to fly across the Sea of Japan.

Hey-watch your moth.

The searing pain means that it’s working!

I wonder if it’ll searingly keep my car’s windshield clear, and keep moths and bugs off it?

I’ve heard of butterflies in your stomach, but moths in your mouth?

Also available: Balm for bats in the belfry.

Seriously, is getting moths in your mouth a recurring problem for most people?

Also known as “the anti-lamp”.

People with moths in their mouths – Did they have caterpillars there first?

You know what this leads to…
butterflies in the stomach.

Sorry, had to.

Raw moth eggs – a Chinese delicacy with unpleasant consequences!

(Sorry I couldn’t help but come up with another one)

If this one doesn’t work, try out our new Moth Wash!

Whitening clearing heat:

At least Closed-mouth Smiley is honest about the benzine content.

Pro: Makes teeth clean and white, keeps moths away too.
Con: Expect cancer within 20 years or melamine-induced kidney failure in 1 year

Corporate toothpaste jingle brought to you by Smash Moth.

“Why so blue in the tooth?”

“I lost my mothpiece.”

Little Red Riding Hood: “MY, grandma, what a BIG moth you have!”

About Smiley…ain’t that a pic of Kim IL-Sung?

9 out of 10 dentists agree…. buy the other brand.

It’s a man’s life in the British Dental Association,
but it’s a philologist’s nightmare in the Chinese Dental Association.

Gets your teeth so bright they attract moths! No worries, though, with our refreshing paradichlorobenzine mint flavour!

That’s right, don’t believe what dentists are telling you. Those holes in your teeth are caused by moths, not caries!

To Pete:

I think it may be Mao…

Contents = Methyl Salicytate; Camphor; and Tabasco.

Ha, yeah I’m more disturbed by what they were TRYING to say. Anti-Mouth toothpaste!

Ruins your whole mouth! That will teeth those germs! Its like a scorched earth policy in the war against plaque.

“We had to burn the mouth down in order to save it”

Are moths in you mouth an issue in China?

No moths. No teeth. No gums.
No problem !

The bleaching goes right to the bone !

For those old people who smell like mothballs all the time…

Because these days a mouth full of maggots doesn’t get you very far.