Skip Life

selection for your afterlife!

Don’t leave the house. Don’t talk to anyone. Just stay in bed forever and leave the world to itself.

Who WOULDN’T be relaxed?

Directed by Father

Starring:
You
as baby who goes straight to afterlife.

Just move onto something else.

Just go straight to death

thats what mother does for you, she makes you skip life and before you know it, your wondering where it went and your dead…

Yes, my mother would have liked for me to have skipped life

If you’re stuck at home in an apron all day you’d need these (not so) sub-liminal messages to help you accept your lot too.

Got Beer? — Produced by Father

…and CLEAN YOUR ROOM!

Pro-Choicers have their own clothing line?!???

Mom-isms: I brought you into this world; I can take you out!

I chose not to skip life…I chose something else! 🙂
[Misquoted from the movie “Trainspotting”]

Produced by Mother, endorsed by Sigmund Freud. 🙂

Produced by Mother…because she said so, that’s why!! 🙂

She’s your mother, not your housekeeper. That’s why she produced this apron for YOU to wear. 🙂

Mothers’ hardly know the meaning of the word “relax”. Wear her apron for a day while she goes to the spa and you’ll find out why. 🙂

After getting up at dawn to make breakfast for a bunch of whiny little kids, get them dressed and cleaned, check over their homework and send them to school in less than an hour while Farther still snores away in bed, I’d be ready to skip life too. 🙂
“At times I think spinsters are to be envied” – Wendy from Peter Pan (the book) 🙂

Horrible truth: When you skip life and let mother do everything for you, someday you’ll wake up 30, overweight, and still living with your parents.

I thought all life was produced by mother.

“Who produced this sweater?”
“Your mother!! Haha!”

My mother wouldn’t let me skip brushing !

Mother says take all of your poison…. I mean medicine….

MOTHER is a subidiary company of Valium.

Finally, Norman Bates starts a business outside of motels!

The game of life is hard to play, I’m going to lose it anyway. The losing card I’ll someday lay. So this is all I have to say…

You know you’re in trouble when you call the suicide hotline and you get Dr. Kevorkian.

But Mom, I don’t wanna skip life.

Figure 2 shows how the memory manager maps virtual memory to physical memory. ,

Planned Parenthood is making shirts now?

Why stop at skipping just rape, when you can skip life altogether?

Wear this while ending your life if you are expecting something better after reincarnation.

Thanks, Mom!

Sounds like mother had too many kids.

When I’m bad to Mom, she shows me this tag.
She can take my life away just as easily as she brought it.

“Mother! I’ve turned the cooling unit back on. Mother!”
“The ship will automatically destruct in “T” minus five minutes.”
“You… BITCH!”

(That even looks like a font appropriate for 1979!)

Eh, it’s not worth it.