Entering the tower…

Don’t dare enter, you ragamuffin!

I now understand why Bruce Lee had to fight his way into the tower

Our tower guards are pathologists and you will be thoroughly studied and examined before allowing into the tower

Interloper will be punished by walking the plank at the top of the tower

So, Crazy Uncle Joe will have to stay at the hotel…

Pardon me, but I have an appointment with a cigarette.

No flint, pyrite, or rubbing two sticks together…

Do you have some place to plug in my electric knife?

You may walk your dog but you may not carry him.

Check your diaper pails at the door.

Effluvium…the forbidden fragrance…by Calvin Klein.

Wow, three strikes: I’m out and I didn’t even get past number one!

I’ll take Baleful Biology for $600, Alex.

They just confiscated my hand lotion, my shampoo, my bottle of bleach and my KY!

Are we entering the Pearl Tower or boarding a plane?

It does NOT put the lotion in the tower.

Yeah. We did have a visitor once. I just can’t remember when.

Does this include posters of Chairman Mao?

The pig my enter under his own volition only if he is not slovenly nor carrying the H1N1 virus.

Hah ! But they don’t specifically prohiibit hullabaloo !

I’m in. Sans effluvium.

Only 100 milliliters of cubage?! How am I supposed to make my sururkraut like that?

I think that cubage is top of cool shape in the world.

9. And don’t forget our princess is in another tower.

Mmmmmm…..bangers and match!

I’m a Popinjay. Can I come in?
I wanna go to the observation deck so people can observe me.

Effluvium? Is that a fancy way to say “connocting poopie”?

Well, thank God they don’t allow psychotics in!

Baleful biology — something created by Dr. Evil.

Sorry ma’am, you cant take your stove in here, it is an appliance, please put it in the pile outside.

Darn, what am I supposed to do with my tinder and exploders? Leave them at home?

Look out! That raggamuffin has a fruit knife, a blender, and 101 mL of liquid! We’re all going to die!

What’s that I smell in the air? Fresh-cut grass? Gasoline? No? Why, of course! It’s the peculiar smell of effluvium!!

Our guards have all taken Baleful Biology 101, and can spot a ragamuffin at 100 yards.

Dang, Honey – don’t even bother putting the exploder and the effluvium back in the car. They don’t allow any ragamuffins or psychotics anyway.

(referring to rule #4) Do not bring your dead cat or farting dog.

I’m a drunk, psychotic ragamuffin. Can I still come in?

Sword? Guess that means no entry for samurai either.

Daily Special at the Police Bakery inside the Tower:

10% off the Fried Ragamuffins with Blown Raspberries!

I love the smell of Effluvium in the morning. It smells like Victory…

i woke up today and said,”I am going to take my drunken psychotic ragamuffin ass to the tower today, with my sword in one hand and my dog in the other.” Guess I will have to find some place else to go.

I could translate that a lot more easily: No one gets in. Period.

Hey, this doesn’t say “Prohibit carrying the gun and artillery”, so I guess we can still bring guns with us.

“…the light of the peopie to keep and beal alms shall not be inflinged…”

Still no respect for the effluvium-toting-Ninja-ragamuffin.

damn , i guess i brought this sword and electric knife for no reason !

At least there’s one consolation in the rules for smokers like myself. Rule 2 clearly states that non-smokers must non-smoke at the non-appointed spot – Meaning that smoking is permitted everywhere else! 🙂

Now if only I can find a safe place to leave this Katana… 😀

Prohibit the carry of Sword? Isn’t that blatant religious discrimination against Sikhs? 😮

Jeez! Just say NO ENTRY!

Is this the Tower of London?

First I couldn’t get into the naughty palace because of my stupid disease. Now I can’t see the tower because I forgot I had effluvium in my purse? dang it!! I really wanted to see those epidemic areas!