Entering the tower…

Entering the tower…

posted on 4 Nov 2009 in Chinglish, Instructions



Photo courtesy of Pius Ott.
Found at the Pearl Tower in Shanghai, China.

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Ageless
Ageless
10 years ago

Don’t dare enter, you ragamuffin!

Big Fat Cat
Big Fat Cat
10 years ago

I now understand why Bruce Lee had to fight his way into the tower

Big Fat Cat
Big Fat Cat
10 years ago

Our tower guards are pathologists and you will be thoroughly studied and examined before allowing into the tower

Big Fat Cat
Big Fat Cat
10 years ago

Interloper will be punished by walking the plank at the top of the tower

beechoak
beechoak
10 years ago

So, Crazy Uncle Joe will have to stay at the hotel…

beechoak
beechoak
10 years ago

Pardon me, but I have an appointment with a cigarette.

beechoak
beechoak
10 years ago

No flint, pyrite, or rubbing two sticks together…

beechoak
beechoak
10 years ago

Do you have some place to plug in my electric knife?

beechoak
beechoak
10 years ago

You may walk your dog but you may not carry him.

beechoak
beechoak
10 years ago

Check your diaper pails at the door.

dangevin
10 years ago

Effluvium…the forbidden fragrance…by Calvin Klein.

dangevin
10 years ago

Wow, three strikes: I’m out and I didn’t even get past number one!

dangevin
10 years ago

I’ll take Baleful Biology for $600, Alex.

beechoak
beechoak
10 years ago

They just confiscated my hand lotion, my shampoo, my bottle of bleach and my KY!

beechoak
beechoak
10 years ago

Are we entering the Pearl Tower or boarding a plane?

kringo
kringo
10 years ago

It does NOT put the lotion in the tower.

Ralph. Hamilton
Ralph. Hamilton
10 years ago

Yeah. We did have a visitor once. I just can’t remember when.

beechoak
beechoak
10 years ago

Does this include posters of Chairman Mao?

beechoak
beechoak
10 years ago

The pig my enter under his own volition only if he is not slovenly nor carrying the H1N1 virus.

Chuck
Chuck
10 years ago

Hah ! But they don’t specifically prohiibit hullabaloo !

I’m in. Sans effluvium.

Blaze
Blaze
10 years ago

Only 100 milliliters of cubage?! How am I supposed to make my sururkraut like that?

Blaze
Blaze
10 years ago

I think that cubage is top of cool shape in the world.

Grifter
Grifter
10 years ago

9. And don’t forget our princess is in another tower.

Pete
Pete
10 years ago

Mmmmmm…..bangers and match!

Pete
Pete
10 years ago

I’m a Popinjay. Can I come in?
I wanna go to the observation deck so people can observe me.

Pete
Pete
10 years ago

Effluvium? Is that a fancy way to say “connocting poopie”?

CallieWL
CallieWL
10 years ago

Well, thank God they don’t allow psychotics in!

CallieWL
CallieWL
10 years ago

Baleful biology — something created by Dr. Evil.

bigcaddy
bigcaddy
10 years ago

Sorry ma’am, you cant take your stove in here, it is an appliance, please put it in the pile outside.

ryaninc
10 years ago

Darn, what am I supposed to do with my tinder and exploders? Leave them at home?

Xila31
Xila31
10 years ago

Look out! That raggamuffin has a fruit knife, a blender, and 101 mL of liquid! We’re all going to die!

Brandon
Brandon
10 years ago

What’s that I smell in the air? Fresh-cut grass? Gasoline? No? Why, of course! It’s the peculiar smell of effluvium!!

BeadyEl
BeadyEl
10 years ago

Our guards have all taken Baleful Biology 101, and can spot a ragamuffin at 100 yards.

jnmcnally
jnmcnally
10 years ago

Dang, Honey – don’t even bother putting the exploder and the effluvium back in the car. They don’t allow any ragamuffins or psychotics anyway.

Denise
Denise
10 years ago

(referring to rule #4) Do not bring your dead cat or farting dog.

Jetsuzu
Jetsuzu
10 years ago

I’m a drunk, psychotic ragamuffin. Can I still come in?

Bear or bust
Bear or bust
10 years ago

Sword? Guess that means no entry for samurai either.

Pete
Pete
10 years ago

Daily Special at the Police Bakery inside the Tower:

10% off the Fried Ragamuffins with Blown Raspberries!

jjhitt
jjhitt
10 years ago

I love the smell of Effluvium in the morning. It smells like Victory…

Toadu
10 years ago

i woke up today and said,”I am going to take my drunken psychotic ragamuffin ass to the tower today, with my sword in one hand and my dog in the other.” Guess I will have to find some place else to go.

Juulie
Juulie
10 years ago

I could translate that a lot more easily: No one gets in. Period.

Dude
Dude
10 years ago

Hey, this doesn’t say “Prohibit carrying the gun and artillery”, so I guess we can still bring guns with us.

Josey
Josey
10 years ago

“…the light of the peopie to keep and beal alms shall not be inflinged…”

John
John
10 years ago

Still no respect for the effluvium-toting-Ninja-ragamuffin.

garudamon11
garudamon11
10 years ago

damn , i guess i brought this sword and electric knife for no reason !

DieselDragon
10 years ago

At least there’s one consolation in the rules for smokers like myself. Rule 2 clearly states that non-smokers must non-smoke at the non-appointed spot – Meaning that smoking is permitted everywhere else! 🙂

Now if only I can find a safe place to leave this Katana… 😀

DieselDragon
10 years ago

Prohibit the carry of Sword? Isn’t that blatant religious discrimination against Sikhs? 😮

pamela38
pamela38
10 years ago

Jeez! Just say NO ENTRY!

SCS
SCS
10 years ago

Is this the Tower of London?

kim171
kim171
10 years ago

First I couldn’t get into the naughty palace because of my stupid disease. Now I can’t see the tower because I forgot I had effluvium in my purse? dang it!! I really wanted to see those epidemic areas!

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