Chapter 1: Foreplay Communication

Chapter 1: Foreplay Communication

posted on 27 Jan 2010 in Books/Magazines, Chinglish


Photo courtesy of Christopher Daniel.
English textbook found in Hainan, China.

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Spoony
Guest
Spoony

Say it, don’t spray it.

Luke
Guest
Luke

Hey honey, I’m just going to throw some burgers on the grill and then we can have hot hot sex with all our neighbors.

Algernon
Guest
Algernon

Not in front of the chiklren

mindance
Guest
mindance

modern–and definitely in english–version of kamasutra…

venomlash
Guest
venomlash

No wonder those people look so happy!

KinkyTom
Guest
KinkyTom

Is that a sausage in your bun or are you just happy to see me ;D

Lollerskate
Guest
Lollerskate

“Oral Sex: Talking before doin’ it”.

SF
Guest
SF

To take you past “wham bam thank you M’am”

Koeter
Guest
Koeter

“the fine art of dirty talk”

Ralph Hamilton
Guest
Ralph Hamilton

NNoddy. Social intercourse, is NOT screwing in groups.

Ralph Hamilton
Guest
Ralph Hamilton

No Noddy (edit)

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

“Nice buns…. Nice buns…”
“Can I get you a beer? Can I get you a beer?”
“Would you like sauce on that? Would you like sauce on that?”

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

You can lick our sauce, but you can’t beat our meat.

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

If staring at my spatula makes you smile, wait until you see my baster.

Big Fat Cat
Guest
Big Fat Cat

Not available in California.

Big Fat Cat
Guest
Big Fat Cat

Lesson One: What the Fxxk !

beechoak
Guest
beechoak

Not your average “patio talk”…

beechoak
Guest
beechoak

When you said “there’s a party on my Big Deck and your invited,” I thought you had something else in mind…

beechoak
Guest
beechoak

edit “you’re” [sigh]

beechoak
Guest
beechoak

Modern Living Magazine for the Young Urban Professional Amish of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania…

Globe Trotter
Guest
Globe Trotter

Intercourse Communication???

Before: PLEEEEEEASE
During: MMM…UGH… OOH…. AHH
After: ZZZZZZZZZZ

Grifter
Guest
Grifter

Let’s get right down to the point we’re dating…

Blaze
Guest
Blaze

$50 up front, cash.

What?!?

Karmas girl
Guest
Karmas girl

Chap 6: You Learn Make Happy Now

coffeebot
Guest
coffeebot

BILLYBOB: And then what happened?

SKEETER: I communicated with her!

BILLYBOB: heheh… uh… heheh, communicate… heheh

SKEETER: heheh

Adam
Guest
Adam

Learn how to work your way into that person’s bed.

mRn
Guest
mRn

That’s good .. atlast i get to pursue my career on a subject i really like

Chris
Guest
Chris

That guy is really flaunting his deck

BeadyEl
Guest
BeadyEl

Rule#1: when you are hard, do not forget a smile.

cmakeng
Guest
cmakeng

For 20 dolla, me luv you long time.

tami
Guest
tami

“I don’t know, he’s a bit anal.”

stan
Guest
stan

Drink Drinker, drunk drunker, have intercourse communication, then smork.

Thuggy D
Guest
Thuggy D

Intercourse: The Best Kind of Communication!

Salome
Guest
Salome

You awake?

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

Go to Dalian University of Technology to learn Intercourse.
Go to Mabel’s Cat House to learn TCP/IP Networking.

Jay
Guest
Jay

Intercourse communication is good, but don’t talk with your mouth full.

Ralph Hamilton
Guest
Ralph Hamilton

Also. The bloke on the right, seems to have brought a rather large package to the party.

Pete
Guest
Pete

Student, reading part of Dialogue A on pg. 23 in drill book: “Show me your unit. You’d better be packin’, buddy boy!”

Student, looking up from book: Shenme ya? Wo zhen kan bu dong ah!

Bob*
Guest
Bob*

How do you greet somebody at night?
“Good evening”

How do you greet somebody in the morning?
“Will you call me?”

skyhack
Guest
skyhack

Can we talk?….

Chuck
Guest
Chuck

Talk. The other four-letter word ending in “K”.

MSGangsta
Guest
MSGangsta

Can’t we just cuddle?

Izzie
Guest
Izzie

I bet the students actually volunteer to role play the dialogues in this text!

Lora
Guest
Lora

Boy, the stuff that doesn’t end up on Adult Engrish sure still can get away with a lot!

DavoPavo
Guest
DavoPavo

“Put the weiner in the bun”

vineclimber
Guest
vineclimber

Hmmm… does “get up, get up, get up…. wake up, wake up, wake up” enter the “communication”?

Randybabay
Guest
Randybabay

Yes honey I do think she’s old enough to learn about the birds and the bees and this book well teach us how to talk to her about it.

Chaosweaver
Guest
Chaosweaver

Isn’t there an app for that yet?

Lalala
Guest
Lalala

Talk hanzi to me baby

John Swindle
Guest
John Swindle

Let’s intercourse with lao wai!

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