Chapter 1: Foreplay Communication

Say it, don’t spray it.

Hey honey, I’m just going to throw some burgers on the grill and then we can have hot hot sex with all our neighbors.

Not in front of the chiklren

modern–and definitely in english–version of kamasutra…

No wonder those people look so happy!

Is that a sausage in your bun or are you just happy to see me ;D

“Oral Sex: Talking before doin’ it”.

To take you past “wham bam thank you M’am”

“the fine art of dirty talk”

NNoddy. Social intercourse, is NOT screwing in groups.

No Noddy (edit)

“Nice buns…. Nice buns…”
“Can I get you a beer? Can I get you a beer?”
“Would you like sauce on that? Would you like sauce on that?”

You can lick our sauce, but you can’t beat our meat.

If staring at my spatula makes you smile, wait until you see my baster.

Not available in California.

Lesson One: What the Fxxk !

Not your average “patio talk”…

When you said “there’s a party on my Big Deck and your invited,” I thought you had something else in mind…

edit “you’re” [sigh]

Modern Living Magazine for the Young Urban Professional Amish of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania…

Intercourse Communication???

Before: PLEEEEEEASE
During: MMM…UGH… OOH…. AHH
After: ZZZZZZZZZZ

Let’s get right down to the point we’re dating…

$50 up front, cash.

What?!?

Chap 6: You Learn Make Happy Now

BILLYBOB: And then what happened?

SKEETER: I communicated with her!

BILLYBOB: heheh… uh… heheh, communicate… heheh

SKEETER: heheh

Learn how to work your way into that person’s bed.

That’s good .. atlast i get to pursue my career on a subject i really like

That guy is really flaunting his deck

Rule#1: when you are hard, do not forget a smile.

For 20 dolla, me luv you long time.

“I don’t know, he’s a bit anal.”

Drink Drinker, drunk drunker, have intercourse communication, then smork.

Intercourse: The Best Kind of Communication!

You awake?

Go to Dalian University of Technology to learn Intercourse.
Go to Mabel’s Cat House to learn TCP/IP Networking.

Intercourse communication is good, but don’t talk with your mouth full.

Also. The bloke on the right, seems to have brought a rather large package to the party.

Student, reading part of Dialogue A on pg. 23 in drill book: “Show me your unit. You’d better be packin’, buddy boy!”

Student, looking up from book: Shenme ya? Wo zhen kan bu dong ah!

How do you greet somebody at night?
“Good evening”

How do you greet somebody in the morning?
“Will you call me?”

Can we talk?….

Talk. The other four-letter word ending in “K”.

Can’t we just cuddle?

I bet the students actually volunteer to role play the dialogues in this text!

Boy, the stuff that doesn’t end up on Adult Engrish sure still can get away with a lot!

“Put the weiner in the bun”

Hmmm… does “get up, get up, get up…. wake up, wake up, wake up” enter the “communication”?

Yes honey I do think she’s old enough to learn about the birds and the bees and this book well teach us how to talk to her about it.

Isn’t there an app for that yet?

Talk hanzi to me baby

Let’s intercourse with lao wai!