Attention Honorific Guest:

Attention Honorific Guest:

posted on 20 Oct 2010 in Chinglish, Signs

Photo courtesy of AnnieLaurie Erickson.
Found in Jianshui, China.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (392 votes, average: 4.72 out of 5)
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Eduard
Guest
Eduard

Dear horrified guest,
During your visite your are complicatedly invited to damage our towels with foul stuff. It’s our indemnifying way of saying welcome!

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

Score:
Foul Stuff : 42
Great Complacent: 7

Eccekio
Guest
Eccekio

I wouldnot be all that complacent, if my immodesty fell down in public.

Eduard
Guest
Eduard

Oh, and please treasure the mattress and defend it at all costs!

Eccekio
Guest
Eccekio

Of course I will defend the fallen mattress. “My strength is as the strength of ten, because my heart is pure.” (Sir Launcelot)

DrLex
Guest
DrLex

Please defend the mattress from falling down into the foul stuff. It would be horrific.

beechoak
Guest
beechoak

As housekeeper Ms. Porn opened the door to service the hotel room, she was confronted with a scene most foul…!

Eduard
Guest
Eduard

Sir, we’re sorry about the draught. The inn had a roof once, but it fell down, just like everything else around here …..

SF
Guest
SF

@beechoak

Actually I try to cover my immodesty with the mattress but it fell down.

faulty wiring
Guest
faulty wiring

I have a dream, a dream of a hotel in which all foul stuff is addressed with an honorific, a hotel in which the little known 28th amendement can be invited in the defence of fallen down, immodest and generally wayward mattresses, a hotel in which the towels are not damaged, the facilities and great treasures of water and power are cherished and conserved…all for the low, low price of RMB100* *Breakfast not included; surcharge of 50%; sales tax of 200%; surcharge on the sales tax of 5000%; no refunds; no guests; pets extra unless for dining purposes; we reserve… Read more »

faulty wiring
Guest
faulty wiring

It seems to be a foregone conclusion that each guest will turn their room into a brothel before leaving. Tripadvisor comments indicate that the hotel stinks but does provide ample money making opportunity for residents.

Algernon
Guest
Algernon

You know you’re in good hands with an upright matress. Beware the immodest mattress that complacently falls down.

Lana
Guest
Lana

When me, damaged, ined this hotel and fell undefended right into the foul stuff amidst the hygiene faclities… I just thought, wouldn’t it be wiser for me to compacently out?

A Non-Y Mouse
Guest
A Non-Y Mouse

MATTRESS DOWN!! MATTRESS DOWN!!
All units respond! We need backup!

Chris
Guest
Chris

@Lana: That makes perfect sense to me.

FatKenney
Guest
FatKenney

I haven’t even checked in yet and I’m already being blamed for ruining the towels?

Kitsune
Guest
Kitsune

If I read this right, the janitorial service is “self serve”

Xila31
Guest
Xila31

In other words: “No freaky freaky in the tiki tiki!”

demondude777
Guest
demondude777

Archers, fire! Guards defend the mattress from the mounted riders! If the mattress falls, then the Inn falls.

Ptharien's Flame
Guest
Ptharien's Flame
Lana
Guest
Lana

@Chris: the notice or my post? 😛

Eccekio
Guest
Eccekio

Falstaff eh?

Any Inn that is good enough for a bon vivant like Sir John, is good enough for me.

Gloria
Guest
Gloria

Dear Horrific Guest, please honor your immodesty or the fall down the mattress in the stairs.

Chuck
Guest
Chuck

Foul stuff indeed, Sir John. Foul stuff indeed.

( As to the hotel’s much vaunted hygiene facilities, I see there’s no mention of the lizard in the bleeding bidet ! )

Chuck
Guest
Chuck

However, it was given four and one-half stars by the 2010 Commonwealth Games Committee !

DragonLady
Guest
DragonLady

entry + comments merit 6 stars

pamd
Guest
pamd

Mattress felled down at here. No turn on the rites and it was dark all lite. Towel result already damages. Lise in bedlise. Good hotel no good.

Yugan Dali
Guest

@Ptharien’s Flame:: you mean all this riposte is just for a repost? awww.

Jaideep
Guest
Jaideep

So many works in English ………… i like ……… so what if they make no sence ……. atleast they are words ……….

DaddyPro
Guest
DaddyPro

O Mattress Ined, where are you roaming?

Aunt Ducky
Guest
Aunt Ducky

I’ ve been one page long too much.. sign of honorific hotel make sense of perfection to meeself. And now I go eat my happy Chinese food to be persuaded before the dinner away. 🙂

Anon
Guest
Anon

Defend your mattress and your right to invite! And thank you for your visit again!

JKT84
Guest
JKT84

This is the most well-read, yet poorly-written statement I’ve ever seen.

Ann
Guest
Ann

My oh my! the mattress sure like to jump up and down!

JuLiAnBo188
Guest

I must defend the fallen matresses! I will call 10 berserkers

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