Proactive Shredder

Proactive Shredder

posted on 9 Nov 2010 in Household Items

Shred for lifeā€¦

Photo courtesy of Craig Hills.
Originally posted 2004.8.11.

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Alph the FoxWile E. Coyote Super Geniusd17nkmikeEtheral Recent comment authors
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Corey
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Corey

For the extremely depressed!

P
Guest
P

Whatever you shred, it makes you a happy life

ivo
Guest
ivo

And I thought shredding was pretty much the opposite of creation.

DrLex
Guest

Explanation of the icons: 1. Do not shred your hands. 2. Do not shred teddy bears with hats. 3. Do not shred tubas.

J. M. Mink
Guest
J. M. Mink

Obviously, they have a somewhat different take on the “Pro-Life” stance.

Big Fat Cat
Guest
Big Fat Cat

Now I understand what it means for ” happy wife, happy life”.

faulty wiring
Guest
faulty wiring

@Dr Lex: I thought it meant ginger bread men, myself

faulty wiring
Guest
faulty wiring

They forgot to mention genitals, so I can only assume that it is fine – if not essential – to put them into the happy life creator, in order for it to work

coffeebot
Guest
coffeebot

This is where Elisa Baker went wrong…

demondude777
Guest
demondude777

This product is approved by Lorena Bobbitt

Eccekio
Guest
Eccekio

Please do not insert your progenitor digit.

Eccekio
Guest
Eccekio

At last, the new proactive shredder. No more wasting time feeding paper into a passive device. This model hunts down and consumes any paper, that is left lying around for more than two hours. Comes with self-emptying waste tray.

Gwydion Williams
Guest
Gwydion Williams

And God Said, Let Us Shred

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

Obey the icons:
No Hands
No VooDoo Dolls
No Corn Cobs

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

Turning crank backwards will result in death, destruction and despair.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

phoenixx
Guest
phoenixx

stress relief…for the inner nut job in everyone

Lana
Guest
Lana

For God’s initial sketches of Adam and Eve…

DECMATH
Guest

That is what I call it, but that’s not where I insert it.

Etheral
Guest

Sh*t, but if I can’t use my hands then how can I create more happy?? D:

mike
Guest
mike

however, you can shred your language beyond recognition, just not to include hands, ginger bread teddy bears or tubas made of corn cobs

d17nk
Guest
d17nk

mom, is this where baby comes from?

Wile E. Coyote Super Genius
Guest

Yeah, that’s what Enron thought!

Alph the Fox
Guest
Alph the Fox

Don’t you mean Paper murderer?

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