Swim and Must Know at Sea

Swim and Must Know at Sea

posted on 30 Jun 2011 in Chinglish



Photo courtesy of Conny Kulinna.
Sign at small beach in Zhujiajian, China.

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Jeromesparky8367Seventy2rd o clockjappiejt Recent comment authors
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jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

Be a designated dyke – because friends don’t let friends plunge drunk.

Big Fat Cat
Guest
Big Fat Cat

I saw a blonde in the Shark’s network area and I tried to succour each other but I was too busy fighting off the sharks.

Big Fat Cat
Guest
Big Fat Cat

The residential sea has a lower requirement. You can drink, plunge and swim with no consequences.

faulty wiring
Guest
faulty wiring

Read and must know at gobbledeegook

Algernon
Guest
Algernon

Must be a worry when the sharks circle in the designated dyke.

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

If you suffer from The Uncomfortable One, we may be able to help.
Ask your doctor if the Shark Network is right for you.

Cathay
Guest
Cathay

I had a happy plunge until suffering an uncomfortable one….

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

In the Shareware sea you only get Sea Bath Management as an add on.

Brandon
Guest
Brandon

God forbid I should get drunk and plunge in to the commercial sea! Everyone knows that that’s the reason we have non-profit seas!

FatKenney
Guest
FatKenney

If suffering an out-of-network shark attack roaming charges may apply.

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

This commercialization and privatization craze has gone too far, that last shark had “Brought To You By Do Do Coffee” written on it’s side.

FatKenney
Guest
FatKenney

So what would be an example of a “lifesaving appliance”? A defibrillator? I’m not sure that would work well at sea, even in a shallow water district. And if I ever did require the assistance of a defibrillator, I definitely wouldn’t want it allocated by a beginner.

DrLex
Guest
DrLex

A Shark Network Area, finally a networking technology that works well underwater.

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

Dykes, Sharks and Drunks… sounds like a typical day at the office.

DrLex
Guest
DrLex

What this sign actually says, is that the people who wrote it were drunk. As if that wasn’t obvious enough.

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

Following regulations I followed the regulations, in spite of having a chronic heart attack.

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

Must know… to choose between shark attack and heart attack.

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

Swimming dyke must know plugging into the commercial network area!

xila31
Guest
xila31

When being attacked by sharks it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

If you swim in the commercial sea without paying, does that make me a pirate?

Chuck
Guest
Chuck

The persons who get drunk generally forbid nothing except last call.

Kitsune
Guest
Kitsune

I’ve heard of a Designate Drive, but never a designate dyke. Is that someone who pretends to be gay and keeps they guys away?

Brian
Guest
Brian

Help! Help! I’m drowning! Somebody… quick… activate the lifesaving appliance!

Jellychop
Guest
Jellychop

“Visitors must swim in shark’s network area…”.
“The persons who get drunk forbid plunging into the commercial sea…”.

Sorry, I don’t go into any place where sharks and drunks make the rules.

...Brick Road
Guest
...Brick Road

Children should not plunge into the commercial sea at all. It might give them ADHD.

kshe
Guest
kshe

That was the river; this is the commercial sea.

demondude777
Guest
demondude777

No sir, this is the residents area. Your area is over there where all the fins are circling in the water. Please have a good time visiting our country.

Ntrdx
Guest
Ntrdx

It’s fun to charter an accountant / and sail the wide commercial sea. / To find, explore, the funds offshore, / and network with something toothy …

Kitsune
Guest
Kitsune

I asked for a lifesaving appliance but the washer/dryer combo really didn’t help.

Lora
Guest
Lora

The children can’t plunge into the commercial sea alone because they have to guard the adults? Not a very kid-friendly beach!

Lora
Guest
Lora

“Life’s A Beach” will return after this commercial sea break: Are naked beach apes causing a commotion in you, the ocean? Are they getting drunk at night and plunging into you without a designated dyke? Are the uncomfortable one relieving their “discomfort” in your nice clean waters? Then you need the Shark’s Network! Yes, these specially-trained sharks will form a net-like barrier in your shallow water district and keep those beach apes at BAY (get it?) And now back to our show!

Josh
Guest
Josh

Oh, the plight of the children! The adults always fail to guard, leaving them with no choice but to plunge into the commercial sea and swim alone! *aka. become sweatshop laborers*

coffeebot
Guest

The Commercial Zone is for plunging and sea bath only.

DragonLady
Guest
DragonLady

I did not approve these rules.
–The Swimming Beard

Brian
Guest
Brian

I wish we could see all of rule 6 — “Should succour each other v… find… someone drowned… report to personnel in time.”

So: if you find a floating corpse, comfort one another. But don’t waste too much time before you report it.

ngyonghan
Guest
ngyonghan

Should I bring along my swimming beard there? 😀

MrEndo
Guest
MrEndo

From the people who made “go into the toilet beard know”, comes the greatest warning sign of all time…

Kburchfiel
Guest
Kburchfiel

I feel like the shark had a hand in these instructions . . .

jt
Guest
jt

I think it’s ‘Should succour each other while finding someone drowned, {please?} report to personnel in time.’

jappie
Guest
jappie

Swimmers aware there are many “lone” sharks in the commercial sea.

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

There are some leaves hiding the lower part of the beard. Otherwise everything is perfectly clear.

Btw one of the best Engrishes….!!!

sparky8367
Guest
sparky8367

I don’t suffer from heart disease but I do live with the uncomfortable one.

Jerome
Guest
Jerome

Report to the Baidu-owned rescue personnel a drowning in time: i.e. whenever you care. While the poor victim dies in the year 2063. Drowning “in time”, get it?

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