Welcome to Hotel New Kamakura!

Welcome to Hotel New Kamakura!

posted on 24 Jul 2012 in Instructions

Photo courtesy of Teresa Lai.
Found at hotel in Kamakura, Japan. 

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (169 votes, average: 4.07 out of 5)
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Big Fat Cat
Big Fat Cat
8 years ago

We have a maternity ward 24/7 for pregnant customers.

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
8 years ago

I put my shoes into a plasting bag and they suffocated!

DrLex
DrLex
8 years ago

A juice and alcohol vending machine. In other words, instant cocktails. I want one!

DrLex
DrLex
8 years ago

My shoes did not want to go to bed after I put them into the plasting bag. I think they had too much ‘juice’ from the vending machine on the first floor. Therefore I was unable to have it at the room.

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
8 years ago

Eastern version of ‘Hotel New Hampshire’

jjhitt
jjhitt
8 years ago

I’ll have a C-Section and a double whiskey.
And please be quiet about it, my shoes are asleep.

JohnZ
JohnZ
8 years ago

When I told my shoes to stay in the plastic bag they told me they preferred to go for a walk, buy some cocktails from the vending machine and drink them while enjoying that 24 hour birth. Is that OK?

jjhitt
jjhitt
8 years ago

Open both windows, I just had twins.

Terri
Terri
8 years ago

@Seventy2rd o clock

They didn’t suffocate, we put them to sleep…I mean to bed.

Jonnytbone
Jonnytbone
8 years ago

Sounds like this place ought to turn on the gas moveable cooking stove for a while and strike a match.

mickeygreeneyes
mickeygreeneyes
8 years ago

Please always have always have the key of the room. Get it? ALWAYS have it! Or ELSE!

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
8 years ago

Damn, I can’t find my birth… Must have gone to bed or something.

mickeygreeneyes
mickeygreeneyes
8 years ago

The door is opend for 24 hours. Except on Leap Day, when it is opend for 25 hours. But then again, on alternate Tuesdays . . .

mickeygreeneyes
mickeygreeneyes
8 years ago

Which employee do I see about arranging or canceling a birth? I hope it will be an attractive employee of the gender I prefer.

jjhitt
jjhitt
8 years ago

>> A birth is put in for 24 hours.
In my country it takes nine months.

coffeebot
8 years ago

Lamaze Class is ok

Algernon
Algernon
8 years ago

Not much sleep here

Sparky
Sparky
8 years ago

“Relax, ” said the night man,
“We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave! “

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
8 years ago

I must be doing it wrong. When I put my shoes in the plasting bag they wouldn’t go to bed but my foot went to sleep!

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
8 years ago

Is it allowed to close the door after 24 hours?

Pectolatra
Pectolatra
8 years ago

My shoes are not going to bed yet. Since there is no preparation of a meal, I’ll have them buy some food for me.

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
8 years ago

The birth is in the first 2 floor? That baby must be huge! No wonder it takes 24 hours.

demondude777
demondude777
8 years ago

Guest: I guess I need to tell you: A washing machine can be used once from 300yen.

Hotel Employee: Thank you for letting me know. My boss had not informed me.

DrLex
DrLex
8 years ago

Please put hopelessly smelly shoes in the blasting bag and retreat to a safe distance before detonating.

tadchem
tadchem
8 years ago

I love the 300yen limit on the money laundering.

Biff the Understudy
Biff the Understudy
8 years ago

Please always save always save power and water. You’ll need it for the 24 hour birth ordeal.

GwydionM
GwydionM
8 years ago

It is forbidden to use the washing machine more than once.

The gas moveable cooking stove runs and hides and cannot be used even once.

Peter Chan
Peter Chan
8 years ago

24 hour midwife service on call?

Someone
Someone
8 years ago

Oh my god, open a freaking window! Not everyone wants to smell your afterbirth, you know?

Marum
Marum
8 years ago

hello desk. I can’t find my room. I don’t know if it was on the first second floor, the second second floor, or the third second floor. Oh! Never mind. I left my key in the box of the first floor, and when I try to get it back, it keeps hitting me.

Timo
Timo
8 years ago

The the gas movable cooking stove is just for show?

alexmagnus
alexmagnus
8 years ago

“Please always have always have the key of the room” – put the commas on the right places :). As in that “James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher” phrase.

Jøsh
Jøsh
8 years ago

I think I did it wrong. I told the clerk when I “gave birth” and I wanted to save water so I didn’t flush.

Marum
Marum
8 years ago

@jjhitt. If it takes nine months, why did you hurry so much at the end?:D

TheUnknown
TheUnknown
8 years ago

I didn’t cooperate with the power saving water saving, so I had to tell an employee

TheUnknown
TheUnknown
8 years ago

Too much engrish in one posting..I think I’m overdosing

slipstick
slipstick
8 years ago

-Do you work here?
-Yes.
-The washing machine can be used once from 300 yen.
-Thank you.

EffEff
EffEff
8 years ago

My shoes must have walked away. In my plasting bag there was nothing but my blastic caps.

Andrew
Andrew
7 years ago

My shoes can go to bed wherever they want, thank you!

Huggzie
Huggzie
7 years ago

Well… goodnight SHOES! That plastic bag comfortable enough? … What is that you say shoes? You want tell an employee?

Tatarujin
Tatarujin
6 years ago

♫ They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can’t kill these shoes ♪

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