Hainan Hotel Rules

Hainan Hotel Rules

posted on 26 Jun 2013 in Chinglish, Instructions

Just a little reminder…

Photo courtesy of Sisse Juul Bjerg.
Found at hotel in Hainan, China. 

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algernon
algernon
7 years ago

So let me get this straight I can’t get drunk but debauchery and calligraphy is OK

jjhitt
jjhitt
7 years ago

Release the stereo!

DrLex
DrLex
7 years ago

Please report any passengers that seem relaxed to the authorities.

WorrierPrincess
WorrierPrincess
7 years ago

Who released the tall and big stereo? It takes us forever to catch that thing.

Big Fat Cat
Big Fat Cat
7 years ago

I like to be massage by the same sex. Is that okay?

jjhitt
jjhitt
7 years ago

We had a few problems with radioactive hookers camping out in the guest rooms.

jjhitt
jjhitt
7 years ago

Get your hands off my security organ!

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
7 years ago

But I AM the opposite sex!

jjhitt
jjhitt
7 years ago

Honest officer, I had no idea she was a constellation. She told me she was a nebula. (The more I try to explain, the Messier it gets.)

DrLex
DrLex
7 years ago

If you see any fight going on, by all means do not disturb it. And please do not write about it in calligraphic script!

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
7 years ago

Tall and big stereo? I know the guy, he always disturbs fighting!

DrLex
DrLex
7 years ago

Positively no propagation. Maxwell’s laws do not apply inside this hotel.

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
7 years ago

Can I pizza?

DrLex
DrLex
7 years ago

Sir, drop the calligraphy brush on the floor and put your hands on your head, or we will open fire.

Ageless
Ageless
7 years ago

Hand over your money, firearms, bible, any radioactive materials, your other sex, and images of the gods. Or else you’re conceited to lose.

jjhitt
jjhitt
7 years ago

Except for the fist fight and the radioactivity this sounds like a real fun evening.

Frank Burns
Frank Burns
7 years ago

You’ll get my security organ when you pry it from my cold dead hands. You dam dirty apes.

Frank Burns
Frank Burns
7 years ago

Hey there constellation, What are you doing tonight? So whats your sign?

Doctordoolittle
Doctordoolittle
7 years ago

Security organ? Oh, you mean Dick Tracy.

A Non-Y Mouse
A Non-Y Mouse
7 years ago

Nobody likes a starf—er.

Marum
Marum
7 years ago

GOD! All the things I like doing are banned.
Especially seducing the constellation. I really enjoy kinky sex with aliens.

Marum
Marum
7 years ago

The stove of the kerosene. Hahahahahahahahha.

Marum
Marum
7 years ago

♫O’ have you ever been, on the kerosene,
when the metho’s running low?♪

Frank Burns
Frank Burns
7 years ago

I think we’ll spend our vacation in Amish country instead.

Sparky
Sparky
7 years ago

But we’ll leave the light on for you!

James
James
7 years ago

Massage by opposite sex is forbidden. If you want a massage, please go to room 108:

https://www.engrish.com/2012/08/why-oh-why-2/

Lora
Lora
7 years ago

Frank Burns: I must be Amish because I can’t imagine being kept awake by all that insanity at 3 AM when I’m trying to actually sleep. Because I have to be up at 4 AM to milk the cows, ha ha.

Sarah846
Sarah846
7 years ago

If it is “conceited to lose” I wonder what the attitude of a winner is?

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
7 years ago

Rules # 1, 2, 3 and from 9 on are simply forbidden.

Mark
Mark
7 years ago

small, squat stereos are ok though. so don’t forget your Bose

Dervrak
Dervrak
7 years ago

I’m glad gay “old fashion’s” are still allowed….

WildaBeast
WildaBeast
7 years ago

I may not be able to define it, but I know calligraphy when I see it!

Erin
Erin
7 years ago

Hand over the public security organ? Never!

Auntie
Auntie
7 years ago

You can come over and seduce my constellation anytime!

WorrierPrincess
WorrierPrincess
7 years ago

@Frank Burns: I think the constellation’s a Virgo.

Mr. Wrong
Mr. Wrong
7 years ago

That calligraphy is the worst.

Marum
Marum
7 years ago

Any time I lose, I’m more pissed off than conceited.

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
7 years ago

I’ve been a passenger on this hotel for days. When does it reach the first station so I can get off?

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
7 years ago

If you propagate obscene, does it turn into a large bush?

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
7 years ago

All knives and swords must be handed to the public security piano.

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
7 years ago

Warning: Rape and seduction of constellations may cause Cancer.

Mr. Wrong
Mr. Wrong
7 years ago

There’s a ring of calligraphers in my neighbourhood. They’d be doing the perp walk in Hainan. We could learn a lot from our Hainanese friends.

Jewels
Jewels
7 years ago

Welcome to the Hotel Hainan. You can always check in but you can never rest.

GwydionM
7 years ago

Honestly, Officer, Miss Andromeda approached me. And then Perseus turned up and upset the public order.

GwydionM
7 years ago

PS. If anyone is found stoned, take it up with Perseus.

EffEff
EffEff
7 years ago

@Droll Not Troll: Must be all the cosmic radiation in Orion’s Belt.

Myself
3 years ago

Sounds like the rules for the parliament of the universe from Neil Gaiman’s “Sandman” books. Will Dream, Desire, Delight, Despair, Death, and Killalla of the Glow show up?

Myself
3 years ago

Some folks are fighting in the hotel and I want to influence them to have a rest instead, but that’s against two clauses of rule 7.

Myself
3 years ago

So you’re forbidden to fist-fight (rule #6) but if a fight does start, you’re forbidden to disturb it (rule #7). Sure. Sounds legit.

Myself
3 years ago

My girlfriend had to be turned over to the security organ: she’s hypertoxic, loves painting superstition, was carrying cooking utensils including the stove, released a tall and big stereo, and is of the opposite sex. To add insult to injury, she was trying to break up fights and influencing people to rest! I hope they treat her okay. I’ve heard nasty rumors about the security organ’s calligraphy.

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