We look forward to worshipping you

We look forward to worshipping you

posted on 23 Feb 2014 in Chinglish, Instructions

Shall I turn the bed, Lord?

Photo courtesy of Benjamin Johnson.
Found in the “services” booklet provided by a hotel in Jiaozuo, Henan, China.

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Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
6 years ago

If you take Jiaozuo to throw out, we will be the Manager and you can be informed how to throw.

algernon
algernon
6 years ago

So if your single your a deity if your a family you not. Thank goodness for the attendents

algernon
algernon
6 years ago

First we take Jiaozuo, then we take Berlin.

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
6 years ago

Bring your children, Lord. There’s always room at this inn.

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
6 years ago

Please feel free to enjoy walking on our swimming pool.

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
6 years ago

If I were God I would make this place full of groly.

Now, wait … Where’s The John …?

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
6 years ago

– Hello, Reception?
– Amen!

jjhitt
jjhitt
6 years ago

Hello, Room Service? I’m out of lightning bolts.

GwydionM
6 years ago

Being omnipotent, Lord, you won’t mind the size of the bill.

coffeebot
6 years ago

The customer is always infallible.

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
6 years ago

JACK: ”I will be the housekeeper here.”
JIAOZUO: ”We’re sorry to differ with you, sir, but WE will be the housekeeper. We’ve ALWAYS been the housekeeper. We should know, sir, we’ve always been here.”

Sparky
Sparky
6 years ago

Just bring me water, I’ll turn it into wine.

Sparky
Sparky
6 years ago

Please remember to tip our doorman, St. Peter.

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
6 years ago

@ Sparky: You mean urine? ;p

Ben
Ben
6 years ago

George Burns used to stay here. More recently, Morgan Freeman dropped by.

K.Haskins
K.Haskins
6 years ago

And with six, you get eggroll.

PeeBee
PeeBee
6 years ago

We are the host. Thou Art the Heavenly Host.

Lora
Lora
6 years ago

Better than that other hotel where you’re treated like Satan. Instead of little chocolates on your pillow they leave decapitated sacrificial goats!

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
6 years ago

Schrödinger’s God

Peter
Peter
6 years ago

11. Thou shalt not charge the Lord thy God. Not even one penny.

Marum
Marum
6 years ago

If you don’t mind, I think I will retire a few Vestal Virgins, after dinner.

Marum
Marum
6 years ago

@Lora. They’re actually Chocolate Goats. Specially made to fit the theme of the establishment. The real problem is the bidet, which emits gouts of fire.

Marum
Marum
6 years ago

And on the eighth day he created Jiaozuo.

It is not five star – it is heavenly -BOOM, BOOM. :X

Jack
Jack
6 years ago

If I stay at a hotel, I created the multiverse? Makes sense.

szk
szk
6 years ago

You are looking for the seventh room on the seventh floor

szk
szk
6 years ago

How do you take Jiaozuo as a family anyway?

timmy
timmy
6 years ago

Call the front desk and see if they have Pope on a rope.

ItalianPlumber
ItalianPlumber
6 years ago

Sorry Sir, no elevators. Only the stairway to heaven.

Wm Jas
6 years ago

I see they believe in the real presence of Christ in the host.

/obscure pun

Silly Uncle Willy
6 years ago

We aim to please. Will you aim too, please?

Casey
Casey
6 years ago

On the third day, I will rise.

Crank Caller
Crank Caller
6 years ago

If you take Jiaozuo, do not disturb the pod at the foot of the bed and you can get the dignity of being the host.

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