The fish suck anyway…

The fish suck anyway…

posted on 14 Feb 2015 in Chinglish, Menus

Photo courtesy of Rasmus Mortensen.
Menu spotted in Yangshuo, China.

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Huu Yuu
Guest
Huu Yuu

The fragrance of dog breath or fragrance of wet dog?

Huu Yuu
Guest
Huu Yuu

Male and female shrimp crabs are the ones screwing….the fish

Huu Yuu
Guest
Huu Yuu

What part of the snail is the chicken?

Huu Yuu
Guest
Huu Yuu

The food on this menu would make my intestine spicy… and upset

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

Screw the fish? Well, OK, just for the halibut.

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

*Insert “My dog has no nose” joke here*

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

Q. Why did the snail cross the road?
A. To get to the Shell station.

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

Don’t need to screw it, it’s a blowfish.

Diego
Guest
Diego

“Waiter! There’s a normal-sounding item on your menu!”

“A thousand pardons, sir – I’ll have that changed to ‘Innards set tongue on combustion’ right away.”

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

I’d rather screw driver

timmy
Guest
timmy

Truth in advertising at the Chinese buffet.

timmy
Guest
timmy

I’m afraid of fish.
They call me “chicken of the sea”.

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

Snail (from Wikipedia): The snail (Gallus gallus domesticus) is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the Red Junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more snails in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep snails primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs … Recent genetic studies have pointed to multiple maternal origins in Southeast, East, and South Asia … In the UK and Ireland adult male snails over the age of one year are primarily… Read more »

algernon
Guest
algernon

A smorgasbord of things you can’t eat

algernon
Guest
algernon

The spicy intestine and fragrance of dog sound nice

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

Weird … They misspelled ‘crab’

Frank Burns
Guest
Frank Burns

Ask any mermaid you happen to see, “What’s the best escargot?” Chicken of the snails!

Frank Burns
Guest
Frank Burns

I’ll have the fragrance od dog, extra wet please.

tankero
Guest
tankero

Old MacSnail had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.
And on that farm he had a chicken, E-I-E-I-O.

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

Welcome to the Gilman House. Enjoy your stay in Innsmouth.
(Obscure literary reference.)

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

It’s the fragrance of the dog that tells you how spicy the intestines are.

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

@Seventy2rd o clock : So, snails are cocks, the fish are screwing and dog did something unmentionable. This isn’t a buffet, it’s an orgy.

coffeebot
Guest
coffeebot

Sir, I’ll have to charge you extra for the shrimp crab that spawned on your plate.

Big Fat Cat
Guest
Big Fat Cat

Parfum de Chien – Inspired by Christian Dior

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

Recipe for the fragrance of dog:
1. Boil some chicken
2. Feed it to a pit bull or similar dog.
3. Wait a couple of hours.
4. P U!

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

That recipe works, I know from experience!

J-Luke
Guest
J-Luke

…I’m going home.

Salome
Guest
Salome

I would like the fragrance of dog with spicy intestine–and an isolation booth.

Classic Steve
Guest

“I could order the Screw the Fish, or I could go to the restaurant down the street and get F*** the Duck Until Exploded. Decisions, decisions.”

sirpaulfan
Guest
sirpaulfan

No thanks, my intestines are already a little spicy.

Chris
Guest
Chris

I think the translator was trying to say “scrod.”

Lora
Guest
Lora

When a snail was brought to the hospital after being run over by a turtle, he said, “It all happened so fast”.

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

@Huu Yuu | 4:07 am: Have you ever seen the cock of a snail? 😉

kioku
Guest
kioku

Since the dog had been drinking the eau de toi·lette for years it was high time it got a frangrance line it could call its own.

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

@ jjhitt: Of course in that inevitable Suck Ho style.

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

It’s the Fish called Wanda.

Marum
Guest
Marum

When asked how a cargo of snails got lost.

An Australia Post spokesman said: ” We had the little buggers cornered. Then, with an amazing burst of speed, they outdistanced us.”

Marum
Guest
Marum

I assume its “Wet Dog”.

Lollerskate
Guest
Lollerskate

Maybe they mixed up the translated menu with the translated diary of an increasingly maddened stranded sailor.

Mr. Wrong
Guest
Mr. Wrong

Suddenly I’m not that hungry anymore.

Tom Hunter
Guest
Tom Hunter
tai fu
Guest
tai fu

The Chinese really did say dog meat… supposed to mean some dog meat cooked in barley or something.

mamat
Guest
mamat

I smell something fishy… about the dog….

Tim
Guest
Tim

They really want you to eat the shrimp crab, I think.

JohnCook
Guest
JohnCook

The “fragrance of dog” . Would that be the fragrance dogs enjoy when meeting each other?

Daniel Prince
Guest
Daniel Prince

Should I be scared the only proper English on the menu is ‘screw the fish’ and ‘fragrance of dog’ and why such a fancy word for fragrance of dog? are they hinting that’s the best? or just being honest? maybe both?

Newbie
Guest
Newbie

“Honey, I warned you about having ‘fragrance of dog’ and ‘spicy intestine’ tonight. You know your stomach is bad. Now hurry up so I can shower.”

Newbie
Guest
Newbie

“Daddy! Daddy! I found this thing in the treasure chest! What does ‘Screw the Fish’ mean?”
“Well, child, when your daddy-fish was young, he needed a way to pay his way through college….”

The Dude
Guest
The Dude

Screw the Fish – 50
Male and Female Shrimp Crab – 88
Screw the Male and Female – (somewhere in between, say 69)

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