You can wash it but not bake it

Instructions for laundering money? Make sure you get a clean getaway.

You can’t bake the universe. Only the Big Bang can do that.

Therearetoomanyinstructionsforthisshirt

Must be universal

Sprain hands lightly while facepalming to these instructions

Wash carefully very carefully

It’s so hard to find a shady and cool place to air the universe!

Honey, I shrunk the universe.

So wait, you can wash with the hand-water, but not in water-wash. What’s the difference?

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Don’t eat a baked universe, it’ll give you asteroids.

Make sure to air the ordinary universe after washing it. Don’t worry, you can’t bake the universe so you can leave in the (must be gigantic) dryer.

– Can wash?
– Can’t wash!

Can’t bleach the universe. That would ruin all the dark matter.

When the low temperature is whole and hot, your floorcloth is in an alternate universe.

This shirt is weird; it has spiral arms.

What are you washing glasses?

At least I can still sprain lightly with hands,
my wife will be glad to hear that.

Bro, do you even press?

Shortly after the Big Bang, everything was hydrogen. Then the rinse cycle began.

The low temperature is hot. The high temperature is fusion.

OK, I have dehydrated myself by not drinking any water for two days, and am now lying flat in a shady and cool place. Now what?

Can wash with water under 30 degrees, but cannot wash with water! It is a law of the non-baked universe.

It’s a proof Galaxy S must be waterproof

I prefer my universe deep-fried.

Extract from the “Idiots Guide to Mess Up the Universe”

You can’t have your universe and bake it.

I loved that book, “The Laundromat At the End Of the Universe”.

Don’t tell me what can’t be done!

You can’t bake the universe?
Then why all the comparisons to cosmic expansion being like raisins spreading out in a loaf of rising bread?

Instructions are half-baked.

If The washing-machine can’t water wash.

IT’S F—EN ULYSSES

Sorry Stephen Hawking, you’re wrong.

The universe is actually a giant washing machine.

@Huu Yuu. Vere is dis big bang comrade?

When I hand wash my thing in water of 30F, it turns blue and shrinks up.

The Creation Myth of the Garment Care tribe.

You will be baked, and there will be cake.

@Huu Yuu You have to consult the laws of physics!

100% Engrish of the highest order!

Isn’t Can’t Bake the Universe a Green Day song?

I didn’t realise the universe came with care instructions.

Turn that thermostat down, are you trying to bake the whole universe?!

Dehydrated universe, just add water.

now char-broiling on the other hand…

So much Engrish, so little time.

Even Japanese texts are weird on it. Some of them don’t make sense. So I assume it’s Changrish rather than Jangrish. And well, also #chapanese

So does this rule out making an apple pie from scratch?

(Obscure joke. Google it.)

the universe WAS smelling a little musty

Stephenhawkingabriefhistoryoflaundry.

The last 2 lines the spacebar totally quits.