Deyorm and all hell breaks loose!

Deyorm and all hell breaks loose!

posted on 14 Jan 2016 in Chinglish

operation-instruction

Photo courtesy of Kassie Cigliana.
Package found in Spain, made in China.

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Huu Yuu
Huu Yuu
4 years ago

And please do not get drunk before writing instructions.

Huu Yuu
Huu Yuu
4 years ago

wow look at the bottom: “avoid the consumer — cheat” Some behavior, and I think these instructions are conterfeit to my plant trademark.

Huu Yuu
Huu Yuu
4 years ago

Hardened gooes .. like dried out caramel. And I don’t even want to know what a deyorm ayion is.

Huu Yuu
Huu Yuu
4 years ago

tearing off its pzztage. I think that sounds painful.

algernon
algernon
4 years ago

For use on nylo

algernon
algernon
4 years ago

Could be a a dyke than a gooes

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
4 years ago

Deyorm you, auto correct!

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
4 years ago

Near period, keep this sharp object away from the woman.

jjhitt
jjhitt
4 years ago

Tts harden with oil. And a little rubbing.

jjhitt
jjhitt
4 years ago

These aren’t ‘instructions’, they’re warnings. I’m no more knowledgeable on how to tear frutt pzztage than before I read it.

Filboid
Filboid
4 years ago

So after Iam tearing off its pzztage it’s ok to toagh the sharp?

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
4 years ago

Beyore can’t use it but maybe Binnie-the-pooh can.

sirpaulfan
sirpaulfan
4 years ago

Wow, I was gonna ask Hillary for help with my daily liye, but this looks like it will be cheaper!

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
4 years ago

The special steel contains no Staln or any other dead Russian leaders.

DrLex
DrLex
4 years ago

This is severely deyormed English.

Frank Burns
Frank Burns
4 years ago

Bese Was happy to have a helper, even though they were a bad speller.

Marum
Marum
4 years ago

Perfectly clear, Chang, old chap.

Marum
Marum
4 years ago

BUT!!! Won’t it scream when I tear off its pizzle?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pizzle

Big Fat Cat
Big Fat Cat
4 years ago

Avoid the consumer cheat? Must be Ashley Madison.

Marum
Marum
4 years ago

That is coincidental. I also harden immensely, with an application of oil.

Ageless
Ageless
4 years ago

You lost me after “The Melon”.

coffeebot
4 years ago

Well hello, welcome to my drunk kitchen

Marum
Marum
4 years ago

If you steal this product, it will not leave a stain on your escutcheon.

Marum
Marum
4 years ago

@Ageless. Melons tend to do that, for most men. For me, it is great legs and bum. It sends my imagination into overtime.

pasdrole
pasdrole
4 years ago

It hurts so good.

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
4 years ago

The pealer automatically becomes portable when hardened

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
4 years ago

A pealer with sex appeal?

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
4 years ago

Even the photo doesn’t make sense. There are easier ways to peel tomatoes, and who peels carrots anyway??

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
4 years ago

Is this an eye and lip remover with a circumcision function?

Long Tom
Long Tom
4 years ago

The instruction writer must have been thinking of the Clintons-sex and lots of lies.

Kioku
Kioku
4 years ago

But what do I use to tear the pzztage off my injury?

Kioku
Kioku
4 years ago

@droll not troll – peelinv carrots is common, infact most people peel off the outer skin. Ive never heard of peeling tomatoes though… But i dont cook much.

Peter
Peter
4 years ago

Just yuck oyy !

iLock
iLock
4 years ago

Looks like the bottom half of that packet could be a whole new Engrish post.

Myself
4 years ago

The deyorm ayion is a negatively charged molecule made of three atoms of hydrogen and one of deyormite. It is most often caused by violent chemical reactions between pzztages (Pz2CH3) and gooes (Go3OH), most commonly found together in crappy English translations. Deyorm ayions are free radicals, since they do not have a full octet, and therefore are extremely dangerous. Remember the famous Nazi scientist Fritz Stoppensiedentonband? To this day, the German government doesn’t want you to. He was killed when, in an attempt to create a nuclear bomb, he instead released several deyorm ayions, which rapidly transformed his body and… Read more »

Myself
4 years ago

OK, the science in my above caption was a little screwed up: a compound can’t be a free radical, an element wouldn’t have the suffix “-ite” (it would have to be “deyormium” instead), and based on its composition the deyorm ayion would probably, if it existed, actually be called “deyormic acid”.
I know nobody cares, I’m just getting that off my chest there…

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