I don’t want to see the pilot…

I don’t want to see the pilot…

posted on 3 Feb 2016 in Chinglish, Signs

service-counter-for-abnormal-flights

One way ticket?

Photo courtesy of Lane Hardy.
Found at Dalian International Airport, Dalian China.

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algernon
Guest
algernon

The plane only has one wing

algernon
Guest
algernon

Would that be a seat on the wing sir or the tail

A Non-Y Mouse
Guest
A Non-Y Mouse

For when you want to fly by autogyro or ornithopter.

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

Also called ‘fright’

Huu Yuu
Guest
Huu Yuu

The flight is so abnormal that the entire crew wears parachutes just in case.

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

Take one abnormal flight, get one kamikaze flight for free!

Huu Yuu
Guest
Huu Yuu

At the counter: “I’d like to complain. The entire flight was done upside down, and my drink spiled all over the ceiling.”

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

PILOT: ”Deer passengers, we are now approaching the Great Wall of China. Forget the seat belts and oxygen masks which are by the way under the sea. Goodbye and rest in pieces carefully!”

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

Passengers can collect their wing suits at the counter.

Marum
Guest
Marum

Less than 20 years ago, they were still flying DC3s in the backblocks of China. So. The passengers are on board, the pilot walks up the aisle into the cockpit, and shuts the door. He then starts the starboard engine and then the port one. He does his “run-ups”. Then he shuts down the port engine and then the starboard one. He appears at the cockpit door and announces. “This plane sick. We take other plane.” So, they file across the runway and get into the other DC waiting there. The pilot does his run-ups again , and once again… Read more »

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

Your pilot is Captain P. Q. Li-ah.

Marum
Guest
Marum

@DNT. If the insignia has only one wing, he is probably a Stewardess, or a Flight Attendant.

Ben
Guest
Ben

The flight left on time, an attractive stewardess served me a snack in route, and all my luggage arrived safely. This was a very abnormal flight.

Big Fat Cat
Guest
Big Fat Cat

they keep playing the song “Up where we belong ” over and over again.

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

Come to think of it, what is there about humans flying that’s not abnormal?

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

@Marum: If “he” is a stewardess, that’s definitely abnormal! 😀

Marum
Guest
Marum

@DnT. You obviously have never met any QANTAS stewards. 😀

Yu No Hoo
Guest
Yu No Hoo

No thanks, I prefer plain travel.

Marum
Guest
Marum

They were interviewing this old Jap guy, who went into an Oz RSL Club.

When they asked him what he did during the war, he replied: “Me Kamikaze Pilot.”

As I never knew that Kamikaze Pilots had a retirement plan, I fell off the lounge chair laughing, and missed the rest of the interview.

Marum
Guest
Marum

“WE ARE ABOUT TO CRASH. PLEASE ASSUME THE CRASH POSITION….and kiss your arse goodbye.”

Frank Burns
Guest
Frank Burns

I just can’t wait for solar powered airplanes.

jjhitt
Guest
jjhitt

Whew… for a moment there I thought it said Abdominal Flights.

Chris
Guest
Chris

“Paging Abbie Normal…”

Classic Steve
Guest

It’s a trebuchet.

EffEff
Guest
EffEff

Jetpacks, personal rockets, genetically-engineered wings, levitation, anti-gravity, telekinesis?

EffEff
Guest
EffEff

Supersonic hoverboards, too.

Long Tom
Guest
Long Tom

I remember a Blondie comic book where Dagwood dreams of meeting the Wright Brothers and they all try to do flying with a rubber band-powered plane. Years later in the dream, said attempt would prove a total failure. The dream was caused by Dagwood’s earlier playing with a rubber band-powered toy airplane.

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

@jjhitt: Those belly landings are hell!

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

Our motto: What goes up…. usually comes down.

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

I was trying to find a Justin Wilson story that could apply to this post, about a cajun at the airport who keeps asking about the arrival and departure times. Does anyone have a link to it?

Garst
Guest

I would like a ticket for the aerial screw to Beijing.

sirpaulfan
Guest
sirpaulfan

Every flight I’ve taken since 2001 has seemed pretty abnormal to me. Showing my age.

A Non-Y Mouse
Guest
A Non-Y Mouse

“Excuse me. I seem to be lost. Can you direct me to the counter for paranormal flights?”

Phil Gayton
Guest
Phil Gayton

Bad trip, man.

Conventi
Guest
Conventi

MH370 passengers checked in there.

zankhana
Guest
zankhana

And we wonder why they call it a terminal………… Gives new meaning to “we are making our final approach….”

The Dude
Guest
The Dude

For Priceline customers

Peter
Guest
Peter

A no way ticket to hell please (Fright No.666)

Kioku
Guest
Kioku

That is really the code word for those planning to hitch a ride on an alien space craft. Always know where your towel is.

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