Damn hipsters…

You can’t get the wood, you know.

(Goon Show)

Dunno about a “beard”, but most ladies have a map of Tasmania.

The wood beard fillet. The swimming beard knows it.

Well, the dish does have the vague shape of a beard.

And: If Woody Woodpecker would peck wood, how much wood would Woody Woodpecker peck?

Does a beard fillet in the woods?

@Long Tom 0406. After a chunder?

It isn’t really a beard, it’s just fir.

– And how would you like your beard, Madam?

The chef has a board look on his face.

Tree this is good, does it come with chips

– Waiter! I said beer, not beard!

Can you recommend a good shiraz to go with that

Bristlecone pine?

What no potatoes

@72rd 0417. Well filled.

– Waiter! There’s a nail in my beard!
– Would you like a hammer sandwich with that, Sir?

@ Marum | 4:43 am: Let’s fillet with Panda Beer!

Not solid wood, just some shavings.

Marum @4:05am Where is the Tasmanian Devil?

Toto, I don’t think we’re in Brazil anymore…

Fillet’s kind of small. I’d rather have a chop.

Uh oh, I think I hear Ents outside….

Just don’t let it sideburn…

It smells a little goaty….

@Classic Steve | 8:08 am: White ents?

@Marum | 4:05 am: … except in Brazil, where the ladies have GPS – Glossy Pudendum Skin.

@Droll not Troll: Ents with birch bark?

Toto, I don’t think we’re in Brazil anymore…”

Meaning “Nobody seems to wax their Mappa Tazzie here” in China…

@Pete. You could try pulling them out – one at a time – wif your teef. 😉

BTW. I would recommend that you tie the lady up first – though.

OH! In a sound-proof room also.

and wear hearing protection. 👿

@Marum:

Uhhh, yeah mate.
Those all sound like wise suggestions!
Except maybe one…the one that’d require a year’s supply of dental floss!

You are clearly kinder and gentler than me.
Sound proof room? Quite thoughtful, that.

I’d have simply done something cruel and harsh like stuffing a tennis ball in her mouth and gagged her. Must be my Russian half talking.
(JUST joking crudely, ladies…I’d NEVER actually do that.)

Meanwhile, in Soviet Russia….

I’m going to trim a little for take-home

The beard would fill it, wooden tit?