It actually conditions as you chew!

It actually conditions as you chew!

posted on 17 Feb 2017 in Chinglish, Menus

shampoo-ribs

Massage ribs in mouth. Let sit for 2 minutes. Swallow and repeat.

Photo courtesy of Marcus Hastings.
Menu found in Guangzhou, China.

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algernon
Guest
algernon

Leaves your hair full of body

algernon
Guest
algernon

Brings back colour and movement

Yu No Hoo
Guest
Yu No Hoo

Waiter, there’s a hair in my shampoo.

Marum
Guest
Marum

What kind of aminal has spare

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

They’ll put hair on your chest!

Marum
Guest
Marum

What kind of aminal has “spare” ribs.

I need all of mine.

Marum
Guest
Marum

I heard of a Rabbit who washed his thing.

He couldn’t do a hair with it.

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

Would you rather have real poo ribs?

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

I prefer soap rack of lamb.

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

For shiny, bouncy ribs.

Big Fat Cat
Guest
Big Fat Cat

We have carbon footprint, now carbon spareribs is trendy.

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

– Look Ma, no paper!

SF
Guest
SF

They probably meant sp’hair ribs.

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

Instructions:

Number One – urinate the balls
Number Two – use shampoo

Marum
Guest
Marum

No, NO, No CHANG!

Repeat after me: Tickle ribs, shampoo balls.

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

– Would you like Hairy Potter with that?

Long Tom
Guest
Long Tom

The alternative to sticking a bar of soap into a child’s mouth as a punishment.

Frank Burns
Guest
Frank Burns

“Gee Your Ribs Smell Terrific”

Frank Burns
Guest
Frank Burns

“Ribs so good, make you wanna slap your hairdresser!”

Yu No Hoo
Guest
Yu No Hoo

¥45 is too much toupée.

Yu No Hoo
Guest
Yu No Hoo

Served with scalped potatoes.

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

– Waiter? My ribs are hairy!
– This is nothing, Madam. You should see some other guests …

Yu No Hoo
Guest
Yu No Hoo

Personally served by the head waiter.

J-Luke
Guest
J-Luke

Carbon Barbecued Spareribs; sounds like they hired my neighbor…

PeeBee
Guest
PeeBee

It will help you clean your plate.

Vulcan64
Guest
Vulcan64

Better than sulfur barbecue.

EffEff
Guest
EffEff

So that’s what happened to Shampoo the killer whale.

Classic Steve
Guest

I’d lather not.

UCity
Guest
UCity

Takes away some of the oiliness.

Seventy2rd o clock
Guest
Seventy2rd o clock

– And L’Oral for my wife, please.

Geo
Guest
Geo

Look at these ribs.
Now back to me.
Now back at these ribs.
Now back to me.

Droll not Troll
Guest
Droll not Troll

Trump’s real plan for wetbacks?

Myself
Guest
Myself

Someday you will die somehow and something’s gonna steal your carbon.

Myself
Guest
Myself

@Marum 4:28
Some people have a 13th rib, so that’s definitely a spare.

iLock
Guest
iLock

“It’s quite a mess we’ve got here detective…
He tried to off himself with carbon monoxide, failing that he attempted to hong himself, after the knot came loose he went to the backyard and barbecued himself, all that’s left are a few spareribs..”

“I just can’t deal with this mess. Jack, get the shampoo…”

iLock
Guest
iLock

•Try the charcoal Shwarzcough ribs – true to their name!
•The spicy ribs will have you Pantene for a drink…
Our 11 Herbal Essences and spices will not disappoint

*Ribs are also available rare, if you like them soft and manageable.

If you have any enquiries about about our sausage products – Please call Johnson and Johnson. Both of those guys’ numbers can be found on the next page I think… Although I’m not 100% sure as the other menu / shampoo instruction pages are being done by someone else, so I can’t fully verify that for you..

iLock
Guest
iLock

Directions:

Step 1: Apply serving to mouth
Step 2: Chew
Step 3: Enjoy
Step 4: Swallow
Step 5: Rinse
Step 6: Repeat for seconds if desired
Step 7: Please come again
Step 8: Repeat steps 1 to 7 to leave your stomach feeling
revitalized and smelling gorgeous.

*The phone number for Johnson & Johnson can be
found on the previous page.

Marum
Guest
Marum

If yiu shampoo balls, the skinny bloke spits at you.

iLock
Guest
iLock

Uhhh.. I think I’m too full for my conditioned ice cream sundae dessert.

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