I’ll take weapon rotten furniture for $400 please, Alex.

I’ll take weapon rotten furniture for $400 please, Alex.

posted on 19 Sep 2017 in Chinglish, Instructions

dear-guest

Photo courtesy of Dan M.
Found in China.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (103 votes, average: 3.98 out of 5)
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Yu No Hoo
Yu No Hoo
4 years ago

If you burn 2 holes in the mattress, save money by burning them together into one big hole.

Yu No Hoo
Yu No Hoo
4 years ago

A lentimeter measures how long you borrow something for.

algernon
algernon
4 years ago

Seamen need not stay

algernon
algernon
4 years ago

This place stinks

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
4 years ago

Good deal! Where else can you get hole for that price?

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
4 years ago

Does rotten carpet qualify as a biological weapon?

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
4 years ago

I get the feeling the management is overcompensating for something.

Yu No Hoo
Yu No Hoo
4 years ago

I love treasure even more than uselessplasticbags.

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
4 years ago

– Reception? How much costs a non-hole of water?

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
4 years ago

– Two nights in Room 237, plus axe rotten carpet and RGB vomit, please.

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
4 years ago

@Yu No Hoo | 4:14 am: The square lentimeter is used for borrowed chess boards.

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
4 years ago

You couldn’t afford the compensation for damaging the English language!

Long Tom
Long Tom
4 years ago

This hotel will make a mint if any rock bands stay in the facility! If rock bands trash hotel rooms anymore.

Classic Steve
4 years ago

I’m lonfused about the cetter exchanges.

Johnny Cache
4 years ago

Arr! Of course we love treasure, matey! (This IS “Talk Like a Pirate Day”, after all…

Droll not Troll
Droll not Troll
4 years ago

“…other colored liquid..”. Let’s not mention the blood, it may give the place a bad name.

Marum
Marum
4 years ago

Dear Hotel Manager.

My lady would like compensation for the carpet burns she suffered from your rotten carpet, during our all night love making session.

She has not only sustained damage to her knees, and both cheeks of her bum, but inexplicably, the back of her neck.

We expect a compensation of 100RMB for each lentimetre of damage.

Your guest,

Marum
Marum
4 years ago

In addition Sir, the free standing rack collapsed while se were making love on it. I tore the bed-head off in a fit of ecstasy while my lady was having oral sex with me, thus breaking both bed-lamps and the magazine rack. The refrigerator fell over whilst we were performing doggy-style on it, as it fell the door opened causing most of the shelves to get bent, and its door became twisted and will no longer shut. Also the bathroom basin broke while my lady was sitting on it, while I was having oral sex with her. Not to mention… Read more »

Big Fat Cat
Big Fat Cat
4 years ago

Lentils are measured in lentimeters, and pxnxs are measured in penimeters.

Marum
Marum
4 years ago

PS. Sir. We would have rung housekeeping, but we making love on the bench. There was plenty of room, as I had reflexively kicked the TV off the bench during on of my orgasms. It then flew across the room, through the wardrobe door, to implode in the wardrobe. Anyway, whilst making love on the bench, on about her tenth orgasm, my lady screamed at the top of her voice, tore the phone assembly off the wall, and threw it into the ceiling mirror. The mirror smashed, filling half the bedroom with broken shards of mirror-glass. The phone fared only… Read more »

Seventy2rd o clock
Seventy2rd o clock
4 years ago

It puts the colored liquid on its skin or else it gets the hole again

Marum
Marum
4 years ago

PPS. Dear manager. Your dysfunctional Honeymoon Suite caused us to curtail our lovemaking at that point, as there was no part of the suite left suitably for the purpose,. We did try the shower cubicle, but after all the shower-screens fell off, we abandoned that area too. We salvaged a blanket and some pillows. After shaking all the mirror-glass off them, we slept in the bath. The bath being the only intact device left, in the whole suite.

Your guest.

jjhitt
jjhitt
4 years ago

Please love treasure. — On International Talk Like A Pirate Day?
Arrr, I do mate, I do.

jjhitt
jjhitt
4 years ago

Charge for each hole? Is this a golf course or a whorehouse?

Tom41
Tom41
4 years ago

Each room contains chemical pollution from all the rotten weapons…

DrLex
DrLex
4 years ago

So, I need to pay 50RMB for each bullet hole I make in the rotten carpet or rotten furniture?

iLock
iLock
4 years ago

@jjhitt: It’s a HOtel

Marum
Marum
4 years ago

All. It’s – an hotel.

Regards……Your Grammar Nazi.

Marum
Marum
4 years ago

@Tom41 1557. Especially Plutonium filled anti-tank shells.

Peter Chan
Peter Chan
4 years ago

Compensation for bad Engrish . . . $ 1,000,000,000,000 per lentimeter

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