Please cherish to look at what you did.

GUEST! At ease.

Because matresses need defending

The room is broken.

If a mattress falls down, spring to its defence.

Dear esteemed Mangalment.
I pulled all the buttons off the mattress with my toes, while making love to my lady.

The buttons are stored for your collection, in the right hand drawer of the bedside table. All except for one. A thorough search of the room, and my lady, failed to unearth that one. One can only conjecture, as to where that little bugger went.

Yours faithfully,

Homorific Guest.

Hey, it wasn’t my immodesty that fell down, it was my pants!

@DNT 0408.

If mattress fall apart, defend its springs.

If any foul stuff comes from my personal, I promise to flush it.

Must be Shakespeare. I see Falstaff gets a mention.

If you immodesty falls down? Does one suddenly become prudish?

If you invite my right, can I also bring my left?

– Thank you to come = No need to say it every time, Mrs. Linn
– Hygiene faclities = Horrorific face-lithium
– Towel result ined by you damaged = Fawlty Towels
– Foul stuff = Hot stuff in disguise
– Defend the mattress = Because nothing else mattress
– If the immodesty fall down = Slightly worrying
– Thank you for your visite again = Oh, not againe …

Something honorific happened in Room 237 …

Linan Inn – Yisa, 云南 – Foursquare
https://foursquare.com/v/linan-inn/4e10848eaeb74afe60b4b2fe
See 9 photos and 1 tip from 26 visitors to Linan Inn. “Hôtel boutique jolie vue confort simple. Cuisine simple et bonne”

If you have a down mattress, please put it in my room.

If you intend to let mattress fall down on yourself, your WILL must include the damages to the hotel or we will contest your WILL.

Mattress or Mistress? Who is easier to defend? Very difficult choice.

Q: How do you feel if you have oral sex with a duck?

A: Down in the mouth

@BFC 0523

A mistress goes between a mister and a mattress.

Never defend your mattress or your mistress.
Instead, attack he on the mattress with a friendly weapon.

AH! I get it. “Defend the mattress.

Defend-a-Bed Mattress Protector Review – The Sleep Judge
https://www.thesleepjudge.com/defend-a-bed-mattress-protector-review/

Thank you to come in our linen?

Fear not mattress, I’ve got you covered.

“Sorry about the drapes, but at least I didn’t damage your towel!”

If guest complacent we get camera, take smug shot.

Horrific Management,

After having read your horrible notice, I doubt if I shall ever visite your inn again.

Yours unfaithfully,
Honorific Guest

Never mind the mattress, I’m more worried about my immodesty falling down! Certainly not complacent…